September 21, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes

Reading stories online about relationships in Thailand between Thai ladies and foreign men, you might occasionally hear the reference to a “sick buffalo”. The phrase has become an often repeated idiom by expats and men that are in relationships with Thai women.

The “sick buffalo story” in Thailand is an example of Thai ladies telling a story in order to generate sympathy from their foreign boyfriends and to try and get more money from them. Some ladies will tell their boyfriend that their family’s buffalo is sick and that they need money for veterinary bills. The “sick buffalo” story has been told in Thailand for decades.

Although the sick buffalo story is now somewhat of a joke, poverty in Thailand and across south east Asia is not a joke.

In Thai culture, the daughter of the family is traditionally responsible for supporting her parents in their old age. Your Thai girlfriend may be responsible for supporting her entire family as well as herself.

Often is the case that Thai ladies will have children with local Thai men at a young age, when their relationships break down, they are then expected to provide for their children as well as their parents. The concept of a child’s father giving money to his ex-partner as child support is uncommon in Thailand.

As the minimum wage in Thailand is quite low, many women struggle to make ends meet, especially if they do not have steady careers or a university education. This can lead them to working in bars, and other adult entertainment venues in order to provide for their families. 

Many of these ladies will go on to forge relationships with foreign men in nightlife venues; which is where they might tell the sick buffalo story in order to ask for extra money.

As many Thai ladies tend to hail from poor farming communities in north east Thailand, many of their families will earn money through farming pigs, cows or water buffalo, making the story that her family’s buffalo is sick plausible.

Many ladies might not claim that their family’s buffalo is sick, but instead that they urgently need money for medical bills or another emergency. While the story itself might not be truthful, the lady may or may not be in dire need of money for one reason or another.

Is her buffalo really sick?

Is your girlfriend’s water buffalo really sick or is there a more likely reason? A more common reason for Thai ladies to need money is debt repayments.

If your girlfriend does come from a poor faming community and has a family to support, then it is very possible her true reason for requesting money from you is to repay debt or to provide for her family.

In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, household debt in Thailand ballooned to 90.5% of GDP in the first quarter of 2020, which is the highest level in 18 years according to Bank of Thailand data. Many will be dealing with the fallout of this debt for years to come.

Due to the concept of “saving face” in Thailand, and the general fear of causing upset, it is not likely that your Thai girlfriend will be totally open and honest with you about her financial situation. 

Put simply, if your Thai girlfriend is struggling under a mountain of debt, then she might prefer to tell you that she needs money for her family’s sick buffalo instead. Of course, it is more common for ladies to claim that their mother or father is gravely sick in hospital and she needs money for the medical bills, or that she is having another emergency.

Although it’s easy to tell jokes about sick buffalos and Thai women telling lies to their foreign boyfriends in order to extract money from them, poverty is not a laughing matter, and the true reasons for women to tell these stories are often dire.

With all of the above said, you should not allow yourself to be taken for a ride whilst in a relationship with a Thai lady. While many Thai women are good and honest people, there is definitely a subset of women who try to take advantage of their foreign boyfriends, and practice what is known as the Thai girlfriend scam. 

These ladies are often found in beer bars, a go-gos, massage parlours, and other nightlife areas where they interact with a high volume of foreign men.

In this current day and age, there is also a growing number of women that instead prefer to meet men through online dating websites and apps.

The “Thai girlfriend scam” typically involves an attractive Thai lady forming relationships with several different foreign men. These men will all believe that they are the only man in their girlfriend’s life, meanwhile she is speaking to multiple guys every day, often taking steps such as setting up multiple Facebook profiles for each of her boyfriends in order to make the scam more believable.

For some Thai women, especially those working in nightlife areas, relationships with foreign men pays their bills. Some ladies are able to earn vast amounts of money through scamming their boyfriends.

Determining whether a lady is genuine, or if she is simply telling stories about sick buffalos in order to extract as much money from you as possible, can be quite difficult. In such cases we are often asked by our clients to place a lady under surveillance in order to monitor her activities and check if she is meeting up with other men behind her boyfriend’s back.

If a lady is running a dating scam or involved with other men for financial gain, then conducting an investigation in this way can often help to save our clients huge amounts of money.

Is your Thai girlfriend using you for money?

There is a fine line between supporting your Thai girlfriend and helping her to better herself, and simply being taken for a ride. For more information on this subject, read our blog post 11 signs that your Thai girlfriend is using you for money.

Pattaya Private Investigators

We are a leading detective agency based in Pattaya, Thailand. Visit our homepage for more information about us, or feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for a free quote.

September 19, 2021 - Reading time: 13 minutes

Traditionally in Thai culture, the daughter of the family will be tasked with providing for her parents in their old age, and if you enter into a serious relationship with a Thai lady then a large part of that burden will transfer onto you... You will be responsible for supporting your girlfriend as well as her family.

If you decide to form a relationship with a Thai lady that does not have much money or a good career for herself, then it makes sense that you would help her out where possible.

However, there does come a point where some ladies can take advantage of their foreign boyfriends. Based on our experience as private detectives, we have put together this article which outlines some of the signs that your Thai girlfriend is just using you for money:

1. She asks you for a monthly allowance

We have all heard stories about Thai ladies who receive a monthly allowance from their foreign boyfriends. Monthly allowances of anywhere between 30,000 to 100,000 THB are common for these arrangements, and sometimes the figure can be much higher.

If you are happy to pay, and can afford to give your girlfriend a monthly allowance, then why not? After all, if the lady is not working then she will still need to send money to her family in order to support them, and have some spare cash for day-to-day expenses.

We should point out that not all Thai women support their parents – if your partner comes from an affluent family then they might not require any assistance from her. However, when foreign men become romantically involved with Thai ladies, this is usually not the case. Most women that partner with foreigners tend to come from poor farming communities.

Some will argue that “If you are paying an allowance to your girlfriend then you have an employee rather than a relationship”; this argument may hold merit in some cases, and we suggest that if your girlfriend is demanding a significant allowance every month then perhaps she is more interested in your wallet than a deep and meaningful relationship.

2. She constantly talks about money

We all need money to survive and we all have financial goals in our lives. However, if your Thai girlfriend is constantly, constantly talking about money, about how much money her friends have or how much allowance she claims that her friends receive from their boyfriends, to the point where she is obsessed with money and material possessions, then this crosses the line and should act as a red flag.

3. She shows no interest in getting married to you

In spite of what you might assume while wandering through tourist geared areas of the country (especially red-light areas), Thailand is steeped in cultural traditions. One of those traditions is the sanctity of marriage.

If you are engaged in a serious, romantic relationship with a Thai lady for a prolonged period of time, then it will be normal for her to expect you to marry her.

Marriage will help to showcase your relationship to her close friends and relatives, including the ghosts and spirits of her ancestors. 

Getting married is important in Thailand in order to sanctify relationships, and if your Thai girlfriend shows absolutely no interest in getting married to you, then perhaps she is not totally committed to you. 

Of course, if your girlfriend does want to get married but demands a huge dowry payment as part of the wedding, then this could act as a red flag in itself.

4. She demands a huge dowry/sin sod payment when getting married

In Thailand, it is part of the culture that a groom will hand a gift to the parents of his bride when getting married. This dowry or “sin sod” payment, as it is known, will usually form a sizeable pile of cash along with some Thai gold. The payment can also include property deeds, land, or a vehicle in some cases.

Dowries typically range anywhere from 300,000 – 600,000+ THB. If a lady is well educated or comes from a ‘high-so’ family, then it is not uncommon for parents to receive north of 1,000,000 THB in some cases.

This payment will be given to the bride’s parents for them to keep as consolation for their daughter getting married. 

Remember that the lady’s parents will ultimately decide how much money they are willing to accept as a dowry/sin sod payment. If your girlfriend or her family are demanding a huge amount of money then you should question whether the relationship is more about her financial gain.

A dowry is ultimately a gift, and once paid you will never see it again… It would be wise to make sure that the relationship will last before deciding to hand over a pile of money on your wedding day.

5. She constantly drops hints about needing new things

If your girlfriend constantly complains that she needs the latest iPhone, that her motorbike is too old, she needs new clothes, that her parent’s fridge needs to be replaced, or whatever it might be, this could be a sign that she is trying to extract as much money as possible from the relationship.

6. She wants you to buy her lots of gold

Gold in Thailand is very different to gold in Western countries. Thai gold is a high purity (usually 96.5% or 23 karat), and it has a distinctive yellow colour. Gold can be easily sold or pawned at any of the numerous gold shops in any town or city. Because gold can be easily traded for cash at any time, it’s a great way for Thai people to save money.

Many Thai ladies enjoy wearing gold jewellery, but tastefully so… If your girlfriend is demanding to walk around with as much gold on as Mr. T, then you ought to question her motives behind the relationship.

7. She is never content with what you provide for her

Is your girlfriend content with what you are able to provide for her, or does she always want something more? A lady that is not truly interested in a relationship will demand expensive gifts. She is not content with small gestures like a bouquet of flowers and is only happy when you are shelling out on high ticket items.

Does she try to make you feel guilty or bad about not providing her with what she wants? 

It is natural for ladies to occasionally ask for gifts during a relationship. However, if your girlfriend comes out with never-ending demands for gifts and is never content with what you provide, this is a sure sign that she could be using you for money.

8. She avoids introducing you to her friends and family

If your girlfriend is genuinely interested in you and your relationship with her, then she will be glad to introduce you to her close friends and family.

Particularly in Thailand, introducing a boyfriend to your parents is a big deal and gaining their approval helps to ratify the relationship. If your girlfriend does not want to introduce you to her parents, then ask yourself why might this be the case? Does she have a Thai man waiting for her in her hometown? Are there other men in her life that she has introduced to her family? Or is she just not serious about your relationship with her long term? 

9. There is no emotional connection between you

An emotional connection is essential in order to build a healthy and lasting relationship. If there is no emotional connection then your relationship is unlikely to last in the long term.

Do you share an emotional connection with your girlfriend? Does she ask about your feelings, dreams, insecurities, and long term goals? Do you have deep conversations with her?

If your girlfriend avoids meaningful conversation and prefers to talk about material things and stuff that she wants from you, this is a sign that she could be using the relationship purely for her own financial gain. 

10. She doesn’t care about your needs

Whenever you are having difficulties or need a shoulder to cry on, she is nowhere to be found. She might show fake affection and send messages asking how you are, but deep down she shows no real interest in you or your life in general.

Whenever you vent to her about a problem you are having, she pays no attention, changes the subject, or tells you to stop complaining. However, when she needs to vent about something then her attitude is reversed and you are expected to pay full attention.

If your girlfriend doesn’t care about your needs and ditches you whenever things start to become difficult, this is a red flag that perhaps she is more interested in money than you or your relationship with her.

11. She thinks of you as her customer

Some of the ladies that work in touristy areas of Thailand (especially in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and the islands), are not looking for a relationship with foreign men - they are looking for customers.

This might be the case if a lady already has another man in her life, or if she is simply looking to earn a quick buck. Some women can perfect what is known as the “girlfriend experience” with their customers, which can lead some men into believing that a relationship is genuine, when for the lady it is purely business.

Pay attention to your girlfriend when she is speaking to other people, does she describe you as her customer or as her boyfriend? Listen out for the Thai word “customer”, which sounds like “lukkha”, if she is using this word to describe you then it is safe to assume that she views your as her customer, rather than her boyfriend.

Being realistic about your Thai girlfriend

If you are dating a Thai lady who does not have a well-paid career, or comes from a poor farming community, then it is to be expected that you will need to help her financially… If you are not OK with sharing your wealth in this way, then perhaps you should look to date a lady from a more affluent background that does not require help with money.

Furthermore, if your girlfriend is 20 or 30 years younger than you, then the likelihood that she might be using the relationship for her financial gain will be somewhat increased.

When supporting a Thai lady, you would be wise to consider how your money is being spent. The adage “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime”, is relevant in many cases.

If you are paying a dowry to your bride’s parents, for example, could the money be spent to purchase farm machinery such as a tractor so that her father is able to earn a living for himself? Are her parents willing to work or are they expecting a free ride? Instead of paying your girlfriend an allowance, could you help her to attend school or setup her own business? Many ladies are happy to work and build a better future for themselves given the opportunity. 

All women are different and all situations can vary; providing advice on relationships with Thai ladies which applies to all circumstances is nigh on impossible.

If your girlfriend is running a “Thai girlfriend scam”, and taking you for a ride, then discovering the truth of the situation will likely prove to be extremely difficult – you may need to seek professional help in order to find out what is going on. This is where we come in.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you suspect that your Thai girlfriend is cheating on you, then we can help to check her activities and discover what is really going on. Investigating Thai ladies usually saves our clients far more money than it would cost in supporting their girlfriend for even a short period of time.

We offer free quotes for all work. Please feel free to contact one of our experienced team members for help and advice. In order for us to provide a quote for surveillance cases, we will need to know where your girlfriend lives, and any other details surrounding the case. Rest assured that all contact with us is strictly private and confidential.

Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators.

September 15, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes

Go-go dancers in Thailand tend to be some of the highest earners in the nightlife scene. Go-go dancers often earn more money than ladies working in beer bars or massage parlours, for example.

Depending on the popularity of the lady, where she works, and whether or not she has any sponsors, Thai go-go dancers can earn anywhere from 40,000 – 100,000 THB per month. However, some ladies are able to earn far more than this, especially if they have multiple foreign ‘boyfriends’ sponsoring them.

Break down of go-go dancer earnings

Go-go dancers typically earn a nominal salary from the go-go bar, they also earn money each time a customer buys a drink for them, and for each client that pays a bar fine.

There are many variables and the amount each lady earns can vary greatly; the following list can give you a rough break down of go-go dancer’s monthly earnings:

Go-go dancer salary: 15,000 THB
80 lady drinks (at 100 THB): 8,000 THB
25 customers (at 2,000 THB): 50,000 THB
25 bar fines (at 300 THB): 7,500 THB
Grand total: 80,500 THB 

Usually, the salary which is paid to an a go-go dancer will only make up a small part of her total income. Salaries can vary greatly, and ladies are typically paid more money the less clothes they wear while dancing. 

The current state of the market also influences salaries for go-go dancers, at certain times the bars might struggle to find staff and will offer higher salaries in order to encourage ladies to work for them.

There are many different variables involved with go-go bars and this article is only intended as a rough guide.

Drinks for Thai go-go dancers

Go-go dancers earn money each time a drink is purchased for them. ‘Lady drinks’, as they are known, are usually more expensive than regular drinks. If the go-go bar charges 350 THB for a lady drink, then they might give the lady a 150 THB commission per drink, for example. 

The commission that a bar pays per drink can also vary, though it is usually 50 – 150 THB per drink. Some bars will pay ladies 300+ THB if their customer buys an expensive bottle of liquor to share with her.

Usually, the lady will receive a slip from her cashier each time that a drink is purchased for her. You might notice go-go dancers gathering these slips and tucking them into their clothes. At the end of the night, the lady will exchange each slip for a commission.

Lady drink commissions can really add up. It’s not uncommon for popular ladies to receive 40-50 drinks per night in some cases, which can form a sizeable chunk of their overall income.

Go-go dancers can also work together with their friends… If you purchase a drink for one lady, then she might ask you to buy a drink for her friend as well. Working together in this way go-go dancers can help each other to earn the highest possible amount of money through lady drinks.

While many customers will assume that each drink they buy for a lady is alcoholic, this is not always the case. If a lady is still able to stand up after having 40 drinks purchased for her over a single evening, then you can safely assume that not all of them contained alcohol. 

Seasoned go-go patrons might even tell you stories about ladies discreetly pouring out their drinks into plant pots or into the toilet.

Freelance go-go dancers

Some go-go bars employ ‘freelance’ dancers, who do not receive a regular salary from the bar and might only receive a small retainer per night. Many ladies prefer this type of arrangement as it allows them the freedom to work at different bars and spend prolonged periods with their customers as they please.

Rules on lady drinks and bar fines for freelancers might also be different compared to regular dancers, depending on the bar.

How many customers do go-go dancers have?

The answer to this question will vary depending on how popular the lady is, and which bar she works in.

Many of the top earning go-go dancers will aim for at least two ‘short time’ bar fines per day during high season. A short time session can last 30 minutes or less, and if the lady is in high demand, then she will be able to service multiple customers per day.

Older or less good-looking ladies might struggle to find one customer per day.

Sponsoring a Thai go-go dancer

Sponsors can form a big source of income for many go-go dancers. 

Men will sometimes meet dancers in go-go bars, spend time with them, and end up falling in love. While this is obviously a bad idea for a host of different reasons, it happens more often than you might think.

Once a lady has secured a sponsor, she will then continue to work as a dancer in her go-go bar, promising her boyfriend that she ‘will never go with customers’ – in reality she will continue to leave with customers but simply lie and conceal her true activities.

In other cases, the lady might promise her sponsor that she has stopped working in the bar; she might claim to have found a legitimate job or that she has left the city. The reality of the situation is usually far different.

If a lady tells her sponsor that she has stopped working in the go-go, she will send many photos of her in the village or working at a legitimate job, in order to make her story seem believable. Most men that are in love with working girls fall for the scam hook line and sinker.

For many go-go dancers, their dream is to recruit several different ‘boyfriends’, who will all believe that they are the only man in her life. By receiving cash from multiple guys, many dancers are able to earn huge amounts of money for themselves.

In a relationship with a Thai go-go dancer

If you find yourself forming a relationship with a Thai go-go dancer, then we can help to check on her activities while you are out of the country.

If you are sending her money with the expectation that she will be loyal to you, then we can help to protect your investment by testing that she is being true to her word. 

Investigating go-go dancers in this way typically saves our clients far more money than it would cost supporting the lady for even a short period of time – not to mention the heartache and time that can also be saved by discovering the truth early on.

Learn more about bar girl investigations.

September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 10 minutes

Thai bar girls learn exactly what they should say in order to make themselves appealing to customers and to paint themselves in the best possible light. This article touches on some of the most common lies which Thai bar girls tell foreigners.  

1. “It’s my first week in the bar”

This is one of the most common lies that bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims that it’s her first day, week, or month working in the bar, you can bet that most of the time these claims will turn out to be false.

A dead giveaway to this lie will be if the lady speaks good English, but never attended university… She probably learnt her English skills through working in the bar, for considerably longer than just one week!

2. Lying about their age

Many Thai women have an uncanny ability to look much younger than they are, and makeup which is professionally applied in a salon can really help to seal the deal.

Thai bar girls are fully aware that most men prefer younger women, and it’s not uncommon for them to claim that they are 10 or 15 years younger, in order to increase their appeal to customers.

3. Lying about having children

Most ladies end up working in bars in order to support their families. Child support in Thailand is relatively uncommon, and many women resort to working in red light areas in order to provide for their families.

Having children is another trait that bar girls believe will make them less appealing to customers. They will often lie and claim not to have any kids, or say that they have only one child when they in fact have two or three. If the man ever gets to know the lady well enough to find out that she has more children than he first thought, he will at this point be so in love and committed to her that it won’t matter.

4. Lying about their name

Bar girls never tend to use their real names… They might tell you that their name is “Pin”, or “Apple”, or “Pea”, but they will very rarely give out their real names. 

The use of nicknames is very prevalent in Thailand and there are many reasons for this. Bar girls understand that most foreigners will struggle to pronounce their real names and choose something that non-Thai speakers are able to understand more easily.

5. “I have never gone with a customer before”

A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible, this is how they earn money. If a lady claims that she has never left the bar with a customer before, don’t believe her. She might be trying to prepare you for a long-distance relationship (bar girl scam), by dropping hints that she is “different” or “not like the other girls”, and trying to increase her appeal by claiming that she is not “high mileage”. This is one of the more common lies told by bar girls.

6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”

Many bar girls have boyfriends. Whether they have a local Thai boyfriend who accepts their girlfriend’s profession, or a foreigner who previously met her working in the bar.

Bar girls will never admit that they have a boyfriend. For many ladies, the goal is to recruit several different foreign boyfriends, all sending money to her on a regular basis. Having multiple boyfriends can prove to be very lucrative for some bar girls, and in order for this scam to work, each boyfriend must believe that they are the only man in her life.

7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men

Most bar girls will tell you that they don’t like Thai men, that they don’t find Thai guys attractive or that Thai men don’t treat their partners well. Perhaps this lie is told in order to remove suspicion that the lady might have a local boyfriend or husband at home; this is another claim which is designed to make the bar girl seem more attractive to customers in the bar.

8. She feels sick after leaving the bar

After you have paid a bar fine and left the bar, you might find that the lady claims that she feels sick or unwell. Maybe she develops a headache or has an upset stomach. 

The motivation for telling this lie is quite simple, the lady would like an easy night watching television or laying down rather than “performing” in the way that you might have hoped she would.

9. “I don’t like young guys, I only like old men”

Understandably, this is a lie that you are only going to hear if you are getting on in age. Some bar girls will claim that they don’t like young men and that they are only attracted to older guys, presumably this is told in order to make the customer feel content and understand why the lady is so keen on him.

Some bar girls do actually prefer older customers, but not for reasons that they will tell you. Young guys can be more “demanding” in the bedroom, and more frugal with their money. Older guys tend to have less stamina, and will typically have more cash and be more likely to tip.

10. “I want to go to massage school”

If you are spending time with a bar girl, she might tell you that she wants to go to massage school or that she would like to open a salon. These are hints that if you start a serious relationship with her, that she is happy to leave bar work behind and find a legitimate job.

Some ladies will go to massage school, open a salon, or build a small shop in their village if they are given the chance; other ladies will take the money and continue to work in a bar. Typically, it won’t be until you have started to finance her new occupation and parted with your money that you will find out what her true intentions are.

11. She does not answer your calls

Trying to contact a Thai bar girl: You call her several times, she doesn’t answer. The phone goes to voicemail each time and your messages remain unread. Two or three hours later she calls you back and says “Sorry my phone did not have any battery” or a similar story.

Of course, the lady was spending time with another customer or her boyfriend. You might have suspicions but it will be impossible for you to disprove her claims.

12. “I was late because of bad traffic”

If a lady is spending time with one client and the session takes longer than usual, a common excuse is to claim that she was late due to bad traffic. This is one of the best and easiest excuses to use when showing up late for a rendezvous. 

Remember that a ‘short time’ session might only last 30 minutes or less, and if a lady is late turning up for this amount of time it might be because she has serviced another client before reaching you. Saying that she was caught in bad traffic is an easy excuse to use in these cases.

13. “He is only a friend”

Scrolling through a bar girl’s social media profile or the camera roll on her phone, you are likely to find photos of her spending time other customers.

Of course, the lady will claim that “he is only a friend”. Another popular lie is to claim that the man she was with is gay. The motivation behind this lie is simple, she wants to appear single, perhaps with the hope that you will be looking to fill that void and form a romantic relationship with her.

14. “You are a handsome man”

It doesn’t matter what you look like – you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight, a bar girl will still describe you as a “handsome man”. The lady is simply trying to appease your ego and hope that you will take a shine to her.

The “handsome man” line has become so common in Pattaya that it is now a running joke among visitors and expats alike. Every man is indeed handsome when he roams the streets of Thailand.

15. “You have a good heart, I like you”

This is another line which is designed to appease their client’s ego, many bar girls will say words to the effect of “You have a good heart, I like you, you are not the same as other guys”. This type of compliment can often help bar girls to forge a ‘connection’ with their clients, and to make them believe that the lady harbours deep feelings for them.

In most cases the bar girl will be hoping that her client decides to spend more time with her than with other women, or she might be setting herself up to start a relationship with him long term. Either outcome will help the lady to earn more money than she would during a simple one-night affair.

Most of the bar girls investigated by us are found to be cheating on their partners. If you find yourself in a relationship with a Thai bar girl, then we can help to check that she is being faithful to you while you are out of town.

Learn more about bar girl investigations.

September 13, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes

Ladies that work at bars in Thailand are far from stupid, many of them are very intelligent. Bar girls understand that if they find the right man while working in a bar, they could get married and set themselves up for life. Many men that visit bars in Thailand end up falling in love with bar girls and fall victim to the ‘bar girl scam’.

Most bar girls will know a friend that has met their wealthy foreign husband through working in a bar, and many are looking for a boyfriend/husband to support them.

After you have visited bars in Thailand a few times, you will start to realize that bar girls tend to ask a specific set of questions. On the face of it these questions can seem like petty small talk, in fact sometimes it might be just that, however, they are usually probing for information which can help them to understand the customer and gauge his net worth.

We have put together the following list of questions that Thai bar girls ask foreigners to analyse these questions and delve into the information which can be gathered from them.

What is your name and how old are you?

Probably the first questions that you will be asked in a bar, besides what you would like to drink, will be the questions “What your name?” or “You how old?”. This is a general ice breaker and asking for your name allows the lady to introduce herself and open dialog for further conversation.

How many times have you been to Thailand?

This question is very important and will greatly influence how the bar girl views the man she is speaking to. If the customer responds by saying that he has visited Thailand 10 times, she will recognize that this guy knows the score… He will probably have spoken to many different bar girls before, possibly forged relationships with them, and will be somewhat versed on the type of scams that bar girls are known to perpetrate. 

If the guy responds by saying that he’s on his first trip to Thailand, this will be music to her ears. Men that have never experienced the Thai nightlife scene tend to be more ‘believing’ of things they are told by bar girls, and more susceptible to scams in general.

TIP: If you are visiting Thailand for the first time, it’s best to keep that information to yourself when speaking to bar girls. Don't tell bar girls that you are visiting for the first time. Instead, claim that you have visited several times already.

Which hotel are you staying in?

This is another very common question that bar girls ask customers. And while it might seem innocuous, a lot can be learned about a potential client by the hotel he is staying at. If you respond by saying that you are staying in a hostel, or a cheap budget friendly hotel, this will signal to her that you don’t have much money to spend.

If you respond by saying that you are staying at The Hilton, or another five star/luxury hotel, this is a pretty good indication that you have money. The lady might show more interest in you if she perceives that you have money and are willing to spend it.

Where do you work?

“Where do you work?” or “What you work?” as spoken in broken English, is another great way for the lady to size up the man’s net worth and his social status. If he responds by saying that he works cleaning public toilets and has saved up for years to holiday in Thailand, then his appeal as a long term ‘boyfriend’ is probably going to drop.

On the other hand, if the customer claims that he is a CEO or a white collar professional, this is going to help the lady realize that she is dealing with a man with a good-sized disposable income, which is exactly what she wants to hear.

Where do you come from?

Native English speakers can easily figure out where another English speaker comes from, just by hearing their voice. Most of us will be able to distinguish between a British voice and an American voice, or an Australian voice and a south African voice, for example.

Many Thai ladies struggle to recognize accents and most of the time will need to ask where you come from in order to figure this out.

And make no mistake about it, bar girls have their own stereotypes about different nationalities, which will be based on their own experiences and stories from their friends. Speaking in general terms, most bar girls tend to favour guys from Western countries such as the US, UK, Europe, or Australia.

How long are you staying in Thailand?

“How long is your holiday?” is another good question which can help a lady to build a picture about their customer. If a guy is only in town for 7 days, then he might be staying with a lower overall budget, and her timeframe to form a relationship with him will be more limited. 

If the man responds by saying that he is staying for 3 or 4 weeks on the other hand, this shows that he can afford a longer trip and has the freedom to stay in Thailand for a longer time. If a guy is more likely to be a repeat customer, then she might form the opinion that he is more deserving of her attention.

What type of car do you drive?

Again, this question seems innocent enough, but it can help the lady to build a picture about a man’s lifestyle and his income.

Not everyone that has wealth will display it by driving around in an expensive vehicle. The type of man that doesn’t might be described as a “cheap Charlie”. Bar girls are looking for men with money that are not afraid to spend it.

As “saving face” is a big part of Thai culture, most Thais will drive expensive vehicles if they can afford it and are given the opportunity, in order to increase how they are perceived by others. Driving an old or cheap vehicle will be a turnoff for many bar girls.

Do you want a Thai girlfriend?

Sometimes bar girls will be very direct and ask whether their customer wants a Thai girlfriend. They might ask this question jokingly, but if the answer is “yes”, then this can act as a green light for further advances, if she has deemed that he is worthy of her attention.

Finding your girlfriend in a Thai bar is never a good idea. Bar girls are always on the lookout for sponsors and men that will help to send them money whilst they continue to work in the bar and sleep with new clients.

Many bar girls also practice what we describe as ‘bar girl scams’, which can prove extremely lucrative for them and heart breaking for the victims.

Why do bar girls ask these questions?

The above questions are typical small talk that you will probably find when drinking in Thai bars. Bar girls will usually ask these questions hundreds of times per month to different clients.

The answer to these questions will help a lady to form an opinion about the man she is speaking to, specifically how much money he has and how suitable he is for her.

“My girlfriend works in a Thai bar”

If your girlfriend works in a bar in Thailand, then you are in trouble. Most of the bar girls we investigate are found to be cheating on their boyfriends while they are out of the country.

Instead of blindly wiring money to a Thai bar girl, you can instruct us to check on her activities and discover the truth. Bar girl investigations typically save our clients far more money than we charge in professional fees.

Learn more about bar girl investigations.