11 Signs Your Thai Girlfriend May Be Using You for Money
Published: September 19, 2021 - Reading time: 8 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
In Thai culture, it is common for daughters to support their parents as they age. If you enter into a serious relationship with a Thai woman, a significant part of that responsibility may fall on your shoulders, extending beyond just her but also to her family.
If your partner does not have a stable income or a solid career, it is understandable that you may wish to provide her with financial support. However, there can come a time when some individuals may take advantage of their foreign partners. Based on our extensive experience as private investigators, we have compiled a list of the 11 key signs that your Thai girlfriend may be using you for monetary gain:
1. She Requests a Monthly Allowance
Many have encountered stories of Thai women receiving monthly allowances from their foreign partners. These allowances can range from 30,000 to 100,000 THB or even higher. If you are comfortable and financially capable of providing such support, that is your choice. However, if your girlfriend is demanding a substantial allowance, it raises questions about her intentions.
It's important to note that not all Thai women are responsible for supporting their families; affluent backgrounds may lessen these financial expectations. Yet, many women who date foreigners often come from less wealthy backgrounds, which may contribute to their requests for financial assistance.
As some might say, “If you are giving a monthly allowance, you might have more of an employer-employee relationship than a romantic one.” If your girlfriend insists on significant financial support, it may be worth questioning her genuine feelings towards you.
2. She Frequently Discusses Money
While discussions about finances are common, if your Thai girlfriend seems obsessed with money, discussing her friends’ wealth or their allowances excessively, it could signal a concerning focus on materialism rather than a genuine relationship.
3. She Shows No Interest in Marriage
Despite common misconceptions based on tourist hotspots, marriage holds significant cultural importance in Thailand. If you have been in a long-term relationship with your Thai partner and she exhibits no desire to marry, it may indicate a lack of commitment.
Marriage is a way to honour your relationship within her social circles, including her family and community. If she seems indifferent towards the idea of marriage, you might want to reconsider the dynamics of your relationship.
4. She Demands a Large Dowry/Sin Sod Payment
In Thai culture, a groom traditionally presents a dowry, known as “sin sod”, to his bride's family. This payment can range from 300,000 to over 1,000,000 THB, depending on the bride's background. If your girlfriend or her family expects a large sum, it might be prudent to question the motivations behind the relationship.
Remember, a dowry is intended as a gift, and once given, it is typically never returned. Be sure the relationship has a solid foundation before agreeing to any significant financial commitments.
5. She Drops Constant Hints for New Purchases
If your girlfriend frequently mentions needing new items—be it the latest phone, a new motorbike, or even household items—this could be an indication she is attempting to extract more money from you.
6. She Pressures You to Buy Her Gold
In Thailand, gold holds a different value compared to Western nations. With its high purity, Thai gold can be easily sold or pawned, making it a popular form of savings. While many Thai women appreciate gold jewellery, if your girlfriend insists on acquiring excessive amounts, it may raise suspicions about her motives.
7. She is Never Satisfied with Your Contributions
Is your girlfriend always asking for more, never content with what you offer? If she expects extravagant gifts rather than appreciating smaller gestures, it could suggest she is more focused on what you can provide financially than on the relationship itself.
8. She Avoids Introducing You to Friends and Family
A genuine relationship typically involves introductions to close friends and family. If your girlfriend is reluctant to introduce you, it might indicate that she is not serious about you, possibly because she has other interests or relationships.
9. There is No Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is crucial for a healthy, lasting relationship. If your girlfriend shows little interest in your feelings, dreams, or challenges, focusing instead on material matters, this could be a sign she is primarily interested in financial benefits.
10. She is Indifferent to Your Needs
If she shows no concern when you face difficulties or seeks emotional support, and only demands your attention when she needs something, it signals a lack of genuine investment in your relationship.
11. She Refers to You as a Customer
Some women in Thailand's tourist areas view foreign men more as customers than partners. If your girlfriend refers to you as her “customer” (the Thai word is “lukkha”), it might indicate she perceives the relationship as transactional rather than romantic.
Assessing Your Relationship with Your Thai Girlfriend
If you are dating a Thai woman from a less affluent background, it is reasonable to expect that some financial support may be necessary. However, if you are uncomfortable sharing your wealth, you might consider dating someone from a more financially stable background.
Moreover, if your girlfriend is significantly younger than you, there may be a higher likelihood that she is interested in the relationship for financial gain.
When supporting a Thai partner, consider how your contributions are spent. The saying “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime” rings true. Instead of simply providing financial support, consider ways to empower her, such as helping her pursue education or start her own business.
Every individual is unique, and relationships vary significantly. Providing universally applicable advice on relationships with Thai women is a challenge.
Evaluate Your Concerns
If you suspect your Thai girlfriend is unfaithful or taking advantage of you financially, seeking professional assistance may provide clarity. We can perform a background check to check details surrounding your partner's lifestyle and history. Our services can often save clients far more than what they might spend on a partner's upkeep.
We offer free quotes for all our services. Feel free to contact one of our experienced team members for advice and assistance. For surveillance inquiries, we require details regarding your girlfriend's location and any relevant information about the situation. All interactions with us remain confidential.
Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators.
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How Much Money Do Go-Go Dancers Earn In Thailand?
Published: September 15, 2021 - Reading time: 6 minutes
» Updated: October 15, 2024
Go-go dancers in Thailand are among the top earners in the nightlife industry. Their earnings often surpass those of women working in beer bars or massage parlours.
Depending on factors such as the dancer's popularity, the establishment where she works, and whether she has sponsors, Thai go-go dancers can earn between 40,000 – 100,000 THB per month. Some dancers may even exceed this, particularly if they have multiple foreign 'boyfriends' supporting them.
Breakdown of Go-go Dancer Earnings
Go-go dancers typically receive a base salary from the bar, in addition to earnings from customer-purchased drinks and bar fines. The income of each dancer can vary significantly, but here's an example of a typical breakdown:
Go-go dancer salary: 15,000 THB
80 lady drinks (at 80 THB): 6,400 THB
25 customers (at 2,500 THB): 62,500 THB
25 bar fines (at 1,000 THB): 25,000 THB
Grand total: 108,900 THB
Generally, the base salary represents a small fraction of the dancer’s total income. Salaries fluctuate, often based on the amount of clothing worn while dancing. Higher salaries are also offered when the bars face staffing shortages to attract dancers.
It’s important to remember that these figures are only rough estimates as earnings can vary due to numerous factors.
Lady Drinks for Thai Go-go Dancers
Go-go dancers earn a commission whenever a drink is purchased for them, commonly referred to as 'lady drinks'. These drinks are often more expensive than standard drinks, with a typical price of 350 THB, of which the dancer might earn a 50—100 THB commission.
The commission per drink can vary from 50 to 100 THB, or more if a customer buys an expensive bottle of liquor to share with the dancer. Dancers often collect slips for each drink purchased and redeem them for their commission at the end of the night.
These commissions can accumulate quickly, with popular dancers receiving as many as 30-50 drinks in one night. Dancers frequently collaborate with each other to maximise their earnings, encouraging customers to buy drinks for their friends as well.
Are lady drinks alcoholic?
One common misconception is that all lady drinks are alcoholic. While this is sometimes the case, if a 40KG (90 pound) go-go dancer has 45 drinks bought for her in one night, then you can bet that not every one was alcoholic, unless she ended up in hospital as a result. Bar girls often drink non-alcoholic fruit juice or mixers when they feel that they've had enough.
Freelance Go-go Dancers
Some go-go bars employ freelance dancers who don’t receive a fixed salary but may get a small nightly retainer. Freelancers prefer this arrangement as it grants them more freedom to work at multiple bars or spend longer periods with particular customers.
Rules regarding lady drinks and bar fines may also differ for freelancers, depending on the bar.
How Many Customers Do Go-go Dancers Have?
The number of customers a go-go dancer has depends on her popularity and where she works. Top-earning dancers may have up to two short-time sessions per day during peak season, with each session lasting as little as 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, older or less attractive dancers might struggle to find even one customer per day.
Sponsoring a Thai Go-go Dancer
Sponsors provide a significant source of income for many go-go dancers. It’s not uncommon for men to fall in love with a dancer after spending time with her at the bar, despite the potential pitfalls.
Once a dancer secures a sponsor, she will often continue working at the go-go bar, reassuring her sponsor that she no longer engages with customers. In reality, many dancers continue to work as usual but lie to their sponsors about their activities.
Some dancers even convince their sponsors that they have quit the bar scene entirely. They send photos of themselves in the countryside or doing legitimate work, but behind the scenes, they continue working in the bars. Many sponsors are deceived, believing they are the only man in the dancer's life, while the dancer maintains several sponsors to maximise her income.
In a Relationship with a Thai Go-go Dancer
If you’re in a relationship with a Thai go-go dancer and sending her money under the assumption that she’s loyal, you might want to consider investigating her activities. Checking up on her can help protect your investment and give you peace of mind.
Our investigations into go-go dancers often save clients far more money than they would spend supporting a dancer for a short period, not to mention the emotional toll that can be avoided by learning the truth sooner rather than later.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
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15 Common Lies Thai Bar Girls Tell Foreigners
Published: September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: October 19, 2024
Thai bar girls know precisely what to say to present themselves as appealing to customers and to portray themselves in the best possible light. This article explores some of the most prevalent lies told by Thai bar girls to foreigners.
1. “It’s my first week in the bar”
This is one of the most common fabrications that bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims it’s her first day, week, or month working in the bar, you can bet that these statements are often untrue.
A clear indication of this lie is if the lady speaks decent English but has never attended university; she has likely honed her language skills through her time working in the bar, far exceeding just one week!
2. Lying about their age
Many Thai women possess an extraordinary ability to appear much younger than their actual age, and professionally applied makeup can significantly enhance this effect.
Thai bar girls are acutely aware that most men favour younger women, and it’s not unusual for them to claim they are 10 or 15 years younger to boost their appeal to customers.
3. Lying about having children
Most ladies work in bars to support their families. Child support is relatively uncommon in Thailand, so many women resort to working in red-light areas to provide for their loved ones.
Having children is often perceived as a disadvantage in attracting customers. As a result, bar girls frequently lie about not having children or claim to have only one when they actually have two or three. By the time the man discovers the truth, he may be so enamoured and committed that it no longer matters.
4. Lying about their name
Bar girls rarely use their real names. Instead, they might tell you their name is “Pin”, “Apple”, or “Pea”, but disclosing their actual name is quite rare.
The use of nicknames is commonplace in Thailand for various reasons. Bar girls understand that most foreigners struggle to pronounce their real names and prefer to choose names that are easier for non-Thai speakers to grasp.
5. “I have never gone with a customer before”
A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible; that’s how they earn their money. If a lady claims she has never left the bar with a customer, don’t believe her. She may be setting you up for a long-distance relationship (a bar girl scam), suggesting that she is “different” or “not like the other girls” to increase her appeal by claiming she is not “high mileage”. This is a common lie among bar girls.
Most bar girls investigated by us are found to be unfaithful to their partners. If you find yourself in a relationship with a Thai bar girl, then we can assist you in verifying her fidelity while you are away.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”
Many bar girls indeed have boyfriends—whether it’s a local Thai man who accepts their profession or a foreigner who met her while she was working in the bar.
Bar girls will never admit to having a boyfriend. For many, the goal is to establish multiple foreign relationships, with each man believing he is the only one in her life. This can be quite lucrative for some bar girls.
7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men
Most bar girls will claim they don’t find Thai men attractive, stating they are poorly treated by them. This lie often aims to deflect suspicion of having a local boyfriend or husband, making the bar girl seem more appealing to customers.
8. She feels sick after leaving the bar
After you have paid a bar fine and left with the lady, she might suddenly claim to feel unwell, perhaps developing a headache or an upset stomach.
The motivation behind this lie is straightforward: the lady may prefer a quiet evening watching television or resting rather than engaging in the activities you might have anticipated.
9. “I don’t like young guys; I only like old men”
This lie is typically only expressed if you are of a more advanced age. Some bar girls claim they are only attracted to older men, presumably to make you feel comfortable and understand why they are particularly keen on you.
While some bar girls may genuinely prefer older customers, it’s not for the reasons they might suggest. Younger men can be more demanding and frugal, while older men often have more cash and are more likely to tip.
10. “I want to go to massage school”
If you’re spending time with a bar girl, she may express a desire to attend massage school or open a salon. These are subtle hints that, if you enter a serious relationship, she is willing to leave bar work behind for a legitimate job.
Some ladies will pursue massage training, open a salon, or establish a small business in their village if given the opportunity; however, others may take the money and continue working in bars. Typically, you won’t discover her true intentions until you’ve begun financing her new venture and parted with your cash.
11. She does not answer your calls
When attempting to contact a Thai bar girl, you may find that she doesn’t answer your calls. The phone goes to voicemail repeatedly, and your messages remain unread. After a few hours, she may call back, claiming “Sorry, my phone didn’t have any battery” or a similar excuse.
In reality, she was likely spending time with another customer or her boyfriend. You may have suspicions, but disproving her claims can be quite difficult.
12. “I was late because of bad traffic”
If a lady is with one client and the session takes longer than expected, a common excuse is to claim she was delayed due to bad traffic. This is a classic and easy excuse to use when arriving late for a meeting.
Bear in mind that a ‘short time’ session might last only 30 minutes or less. If a lady is late for this amount of time, it might be because she has just serviced another client before reaching you. Using traffic as an excuse is an easy way to explain this scenario.
13. “He is only a friend”
If you peruse a bar girl’s social media profile or her phone’s camera roll, you’re likely to encounter photos of her with other customers.
Of course, she will insist that “he is only a friend.” Another common lie is to claim the man she was with is gay. The motivation for this deception is straightforward; she wants to appear single, perhaps hoping you will seek to fill that void and develop a romantic relationship.
14. “You are a handsome man”
No matter your appearance—you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight—a bar girl will still label you as a “handsome man”. She is simply trying to stroke your ego in hopes you will take a liking to her.
The “handsome man” phrase has become a running joke among visitors and expats in Pattaya, where every man is deemed handsome as he wanders the streets of Thailand.
15. “You have a good heart; I like you”
This line is another tactic to flatter clients; many bar girls will express sentiments like “You have a good heart, I like you; you are not like other guys.” Such compliments can help bar girls forge a ‘connection’ with their clients, making them believe the lady has deep feelings for them.
In most cases, the bar girl hopes her client will choose to spend more time with her rather than with other women, or she might be setting the stage for a long-term relationship. Both outcomes will typically yield her more money than a simple one-night encounter.
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Questions That Thai Bar Girls Ask Foreigners
Published: September 13, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
The women who work in bars in Thailand are far from unintelligent; many of them are, in fact, quite shrewd. They understand that finding the right man while working in a bar could lead to marriage and financial security for life. Many men who visit these bars fall for these women and ultimately become victims of the infamous ‘bar girl scam’.
Most bar girls know someone who has met a wealthy foreign husband through this line of work, and many are actively seeking a boyfriend or husband to support them.
After frequenting Thai bars, you’ll begin to notice that bar girls tend to ask a familiar set of questions. While these questions may initially seem like casual small talk, they often serve a deeper purpose—gathering information to assess the customer and his financial situation.
We’ve compiled a list of questions bar girls ask foreigners to better understand the underlying motivations and the information they seek.
What is your name and how old are you?
These are typically the first questions you’ll be asked in a Thai bar, after your drink order. “What’s your name?” and “How old are you?” serve as icebreakers, allowing the woman to introduce herself and initiate further conversation.
How many times have you been to Thailand?
This is a crucial question that can shape how the bar girl views her customer. If you respond that you've visited Thailand multiple times—say 10 or more—she’ll likely deduce that you're familiar with how things work. You’ve probably encountered other bar girls before and might even be aware of the scams they sometimes pull.
If it’s your first trip to Thailand, however, this will be music to her ears. First-time visitors are generally more trusting of what bar girls say and are potentially more vulnerable to scams.
TIP: If this is your first visit to Thailand, it’s best to keep that to yourself when talking to bar girls. Instead, claim you’ve been several times before.
Which hotel are you staying in?
This is another common question that may seem harmless but provides valuable insight into your financial standing. If you mention staying in a hostel or budget-friendly hotel, she’ll likely assume you don’t have much money to spend.
However, if you’re staying at a high-end hotel like The Hilton or another luxury establishment, it signals wealth. In this case, you may notice her level of interest rising.
Where do you work?
“Where do you work?” or “What you work?” (in broken English) is a direct way for her to gauge your social status and financial situation. If you say you work a low-paying job and have saved for years to holiday in Thailand, her interest in pursuing a long-term relationship may wane.
But if you mention you’re a CEO or a professional with a high-paying job, she’ll recognise that you have disposable income, which is exactly what she’s after.
Where do you come from?
While native English speakers can often distinguish accents—whether British, American, Australian, or South African—many Thai bar girls can’t, so they’ll ask directly where you’re from.
They also hold certain stereotypes about different nationalities, largely based on their own experiences or stories from friends. Generally, bar girls tend to prefer men from Western countries like the US, UK, Europe, or Australia.
How long are you staying in Thailand?
“How long is your holiday?” is another common question. If you’re only in Thailand for a week, the girl may assume your budget is more limited, and the timeframe for forming any kind of relationship is short.
However, if you’re staying for three or four weeks, it indicates that you can afford a longer holiday and might be a repeat visitor, making you more worthy of her attention.
What type of car do you drive?
Though seemingly an innocent question, it helps her form a clearer picture of your lifestyle and income.
While not all wealthy men drive flashy cars, those who don’t may be perceived as “cheap Charlies” by bar girls. Thai culture places significant importance on "saving face," and driving an expensive car, if possible, boosts one's social image. On the other hand, driving an old or budget car may be a turn-off.
Do you want a Thai girlfriend?
Some bar girls may ask this question quite directly, sometimes in a playful manner. If the answer is “yes,” it’s often seen as an open invitation for further advances, provided she sees you as financially viable.
However, finding a girlfriend in a Thai bar is never a good idea. Bar girls are always on the lookout for sponsors—men who will send them money while they continue working at the bar and seeing new clients.
Many bar girls also engage in scams, which can be very profitable for them but emotionally devastating for the men involved.
Why do bar girls ask these questions?
The questions mentioned above are typical small talk you’ll encounter while drinking in Thai bars. Bar girls ask these hundreds of times each month, gathering information to form an opinion about a customer’s wealth and suitability as a long-term partner or financial supporter.
“My girlfriend works in a Thai bar”
If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, you may be in for trouble. Our investigations often reveal that many bar girls cheat on their boyfriends when they’re abroad.
Instead of blindly sending money to a Thai bar girl, you can hire us to check on her activities and uncover the truth. Our bar girl investigations typically save clients far more money than our professional fees.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
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