Published: September 21, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: June 3, 2025

Reading stories online about relationships in Thailand between Thai ladies and foreign men, you might occasionally hear the reference to a “sick buffalo”. The phrase has become an often repeated idiom by expats and men that are in relationships with Thai women.

The “sick buffalo story” in Thailand is an example of Thai ladies telling a story in order to generate sympathy from their foreign boyfriends and to try and get more money from them. Some ladies will tell their boyfriend that their family’s buffalo is sick and that they need money for veterinary bills. The “sick buffalo” story has been told in Thailand for decades.

Although the sick buffalo story is now somewhat of a joke, poverty in Thailand and across south east Asia is not a joke.

In Thai culture, the daughter of the family is traditionally responsible for supporting her parents in their old age. Your Thai girlfriend may be responsible for supporting her entire family as well as herself.

Often is the case that Thai ladies will have children with local Thai men at a young age, when their relationships break down, they are then expected to provide for their children as well as their parents. The concept of a child’s father giving money to his ex-partner as child support is relatively uncommon in Thailand.

As the minimum wage in Thailand is quite low, many women struggle to make ends meet, especially if they do not have steady careers or a university education. This can lead them to working in bars, and other adult entertainment venues in order to provide for their families.

Many of these ladies will go on to forge relationships with foreign men in nightlife venues; which is where they might tell the sick buffalo story in order to ask for extra money.

As many Thai ladies tend to hail from poor farming communities in north east Thailand, many of their families will earn money through farming pigs, cows or water buffalo, making the story that her family’s buffalo is sick plausible.

Many ladies might not claim that their family’s buffalo is sick, but instead that they urgently need money for medical bills or another emergency. While the story itself might not be truthful, the lady may or may not be in dire need of money for one reason or another.

Is Her Buffalo Really Sick?

Is your girlfriend’s water buffalo really sick or is there a more likely reason? A more common reason for Thai ladies to need money is debt repayments.

If your girlfriend does come from a poor faming community and has a family to support, then it is very possible her true reason for requesting money from you is to repay debt, cover expenses related to farming, or to simply provide for her family.

In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, household debt in Thailand ballooned to 90.5% of GDP in the first quarter of 2020, which is the highest level in 18 years according to Bank of Thailand data. Many will be dealing with the fallout of this debt for years to come.

Due to the concept of “saving face” in Thailand, and the general fear of causing upset, it is not likely that your Thai girlfriend will be totally open and honest with you about her financial situation. 

Put simply, if your Thai girlfriend is struggling under a mountain of debt, then she might prefer to tell you that she needs money for her family’s sick buffalo instead. Of course, it is more common for ladies to claim that their mother or father is gravely sick in hospital and she needs money for the medical bills, or that she is having another emergency.

Although it’s easy to tell jokes about sick buffalos and Thai women telling lies to their foreign boyfriends in order to extract money from them, poverty is not a laughing matter, and the true reasons for women to tell these stories are often dire.

With all of the above said, you should not allow yourself to be taken for a ride whilst in a relationship with a Thai lady. While many Thai women are good and honest people, there is definitely a subset of women who try to take advantage of their foreign boyfriends, and practice what is known as the Thai girlfriend scam. 

These ladies are often found in beer bars, a go-gos, massage parlours, and other nightlife areas where they interact with a high volume of foreign men.

In this current day and age, there is also a growing number of women that instead prefer to meet men through online dating websites and apps.

The “Thai girlfriend scam” typically involves an attractive Thai lady forming relationships with several different foreign men. These men will all believe that they are the only man in their girlfriend’s life, meanwhile she is speaking to multiple guys every day, often taking steps such as setting up multiple Facebook profiles for each of her boyfriends in order to make the scam more believable.

For some Thai women, especially those working in nightlife areas, relationships with foreign men pays their bills. Some ladies are able to earn vast amounts of money through scamming their boyfriends.

Determining whether a lady is genuine, or if she is simply telling stories about sick buffalos in order to extract as much money from you as possible, can be quite difficult. In such cases we are often asked by our clients to place a lady under surveillance in order to monitor her activities and check if she is meeting up with other men behind her boyfriend’s back.

If a lady is running a dating scam or involved with other men for financial gain, then conducting an investigation in this way can often help to save our clients huge amounts of money.

Is Your Thai Girlfriend Using You For Money?

There is a fine line between supporting your Thai girlfriend and helping her to better herself, and simply being taken for a ride. For more information on this subject, read our blog post 11 signs that your Thai girlfriend is using you for money.

Pattaya Private Investigators

We are a leading detective agency based in Pattaya, Thailand. Visit our homepage for more information about us, or feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for a free quote.

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Published: September 19, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: January 11, 2025

In Thai culture, it is common for daughters to support their parents as they age. If you enter into a serious relationship with a Thai woman, a significant part of that responsibility may fall on your shoulders, extending beyond just her but also to her family.

If your partner does not have a stable income or a solid career, it is understandable that you may wish to provide her with financial support. However, there can come a time when some individuals may take advantage of their foreign partners. Based on our extensive experience as private investigators, we have compiled a list of the 11 key signs that your Thai girlfriend may be using you for monetary gain:

1. She Requests a Monthly Allowance

Many have encountered stories of Thai women receiving monthly allowances from their foreign partners. These allowances can range from 30,000 to 100,000 THB or even higher. If you are comfortable and financially capable of providing such support, that is your choice. However, if your girlfriend is demanding a substantial allowance, it raises questions about her intentions.

It's important to note that not all Thai women are responsible for supporting their families; affluent backgrounds may lessen these financial expectations. Yet, many women who date foreigners often come from less wealthy backgrounds, which may contribute to their requests for financial assistance.

As some might say, “If you are giving a monthly allowance, you might have more of an employer-employee relationship than a romantic one.” If your girlfriend insists on significant financial support, it may be worth questioning her genuine feelings towards you.

2. She Frequently Discusses Money

While discussions about finances are common, if your Thai girlfriend seems obsessed with money, discussing her friends’ wealth or their allowances excessively, it could signal a concerning focus on materialism rather than a genuine relationship.

3. She Shows No Interest in Marriage

Despite common misconceptions based on tourist hotspots, marriage holds significant cultural importance in Thailand. If you have been in a long-term relationship with your Thai partner and she exhibits no desire to marry, it may indicate a lack of commitment.

Marriage is a way to honour your relationship within her social circles, including her family and community. If she seems indifferent towards the idea of marriage, you might want to reconsider the dynamics of your relationship.

4. She Demands a Large Dowry/Sin Sod Payment

In Thai culture, a groom traditionally presents a dowry, known as “sin sod”, to his bride's family. This payment can range from 300,000 to over 1,000,000 THB, depending on the bride's background. If your girlfriend or her family expects a large sum, it might be prudent to question the motivations behind the relationship.

Remember, a dowry is intended as a gift, and once given, it is typically never returned. Be sure the relationship has a solid foundation before agreeing to any significant financial commitments.

5. She Drops Constant Hints for New Purchases

If your girlfriend frequently mentions needing new items—be it the latest phone, a new motorbike, or even household items—this could be an indication she is attempting to extract more money from you.

6. She Pressures You to Buy Her Gold

In Thailand, gold holds a different value compared to Western nations. With its high purity, Thai gold can be easily sold or pawned, making it a popular form of savings. While many Thai women appreciate gold jewellery, if your girlfriend insists on acquiring excessive amounts, it may raise suspicions about her motives.

7. She is Never Satisfied with Your Contributions

Is your girlfriend always asking for more, never content with what you offer? If she expects extravagant gifts rather than appreciating smaller gestures, it could suggest she is more focused on what you can provide financially than on the relationship itself.

8. She Avoids Introducing You to Friends and Family

A genuine relationship typically involves introductions to close friends and family. If your girlfriend is reluctant to introduce you, it might indicate that she is not serious about you, possibly because she has other interests or relationships.

9. There is No Emotional Connection

Emotional connection is crucial for a healthy, lasting relationship. If your girlfriend shows little interest in your feelings, dreams, or challenges, focusing instead on material matters, this could be a sign she is primarily interested in financial benefits.

10. She is Indifferent to Your Needs

If she shows no concern when you face difficulties or seeks emotional support, and only demands your attention when she needs something, it signals a lack of genuine investment in your relationship.

11. She Refers to You as a Customer

Some women in Thailand's tourist areas view foreign men more as customers than partners. If your girlfriend refers to you as her “customer” (the Thai word is “lukkha”), it might indicate she perceives the relationship as transactional rather than romantic.

Assessing Your Relationship with Your Thai Girlfriend

If you are dating a Thai woman from a less affluent background, it is reasonable to expect that some financial support may be necessary. However, if you are uncomfortable sharing your wealth, you might consider dating someone from a more financially stable background.

Moreover, if your girlfriend is significantly younger than you, there may be a higher likelihood that she is interested in the relationship for financial gain.

When supporting a Thai partner, consider how your contributions are spent. The saying “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime” rings true. Instead of simply providing financial support, consider ways to empower her, such as helping her pursue education or start her own business.

Every individual is unique, and relationships vary significantly. Providing universally applicable advice on relationships with Thai women is a challenge.

Evaluate Your Concerns

If you suspect your Thai girlfriend is unfaithful or taking advantage of you financially, seeking professional assistance may provide clarity. We can perform a background check to check details surrounding your partner's lifestyle and history. Our services can often save clients far more than what they might spend on a partner's upkeep.

We offer free quotes for all our services. Feel free to contact one of our experienced team members for advice and assistance. For surveillance inquiries, we require details regarding your girlfriend's location and any relevant information about the situation. All interactions with us remain confidential.

Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators.

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Published: September 15, 2021 - Reading time: 14 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Go go dancers in Thailand are among the top earners in the nightlife industry. Their earnings often surpass those of women working in beer bars or massage parlours.

Depending on factors such as the dancer's popularity, the establishment where she works, how many customers she has and whether she has sponsors, Thai go go dancers can earn between 40,000 and 100,000 THB per month. Some dancers may earn considerably more, particularly if they are popular with customers or receive financial support from multiple foreign boyfriends or sponsors.

What Makes Up a Go Go Dancer's Earnings?

Go go dancers typically receive a base salary from the bar, in addition to money earned from lady drink commissions, customers, bar fines, tips and financial sponsors.

The exact income of each dancer can vary significantly. A popular dancer working in a busy go go bar in Pattaya, Bangkok or Phuket may earn substantially more than a dancer working in a quieter venue.

Appearance, personality, English ability, popularity with regular customers and willingness to leave the bar with customers can all have a major impact on monthly earnings.

Breakdown of Go Go Dancer Earnings

The following is an example of how a successful go go dancer might make up her monthly income:

This is only an example. Some dancers will earn considerably less, while popular dancers can earn more. Tips and money received from sponsors or foreign boyfriends can increase the total further.

Do Go Go Dancers Get a Cut of Bar Fines?

Yes. When a customer pays a bar fine to take a dancer out of the venue, the dancer will normally receive a cut or commission from that bar fine.

The exact amount depends on the rules of the individual go go bar. The bar keeps part of the payment and the dancer receives her share.

This means that bar fines can form a significant part of a dancer's monthly income, particularly if she is popular and regularly leaves the venue with customers.

The bar fine itself should not be confused with the separate amount that a customer may pay directly to the dancer for her time. These are different payments, and both can contribute to how much money a successful dancer earns during the month.

In a Relationship with a Thai Go Go Dancer?

If you’re in a relationship with a Thai lady who works in a go go bar and you believe that she is being loyal to you, it may be worth establishing what she is actually doing while you are not around.

Checking her activities can help establish whether the relationship is genuinely exclusive before you commit further financially.

Our investigations into go go dancers can save clients considerably more money than they would otherwise spend supporting somebody over a long period, not to mention the emotional consequences that can sometimes be avoided by discovering the truth sooner.

Learn more about bar girl investigations.

Lady Drinks for Thai Go Go Dancers

Go go dancers earn a commission whenever a customer buys them a drink, commonly referred to as a lady drink.

Lady drinks are more expensive than ordinary customer drinks. A typical lady drink might cost around 250 THB, although prices vary depending on the venue and location. The dancer might receive a commission of around 50 to 100 THB from each drink.

The exact commission can vary from one bar to another, and a dancer may earn more if a customer buys an expensive bottle of liquor or makes another large purchase for her.

Dancers often collect slips for each lady drink purchased and redeem them for their commission at the end of the night or according to the bar's payment system.

These commissions can accumulate quickly. Popular dancers can receive numerous lady drinks during a busy night, and dancers frequently encourage customers to buy drinks for their friends as well.

Are Lady Drinks Alcoholic?

One common misconception is that every lady drink contains alcohol.

If a 40 kg dancer has dozens of drinks bought for her during a busy night, it should be fairly obvious that she cannot necessarily drink a full alcoholic drink every single time.

Bar girls and go go dancers may switch to fruit juice, soft drinks, mixers or other non alcoholic drinks when they have had enough alcohol.

The important part from the dancer's point of view is generally that the lady drink has been purchased and she receives the relevant commission.

Freelance Go Go Dancers

Some go go bars use freelance dancers who do not receive the same fixed monthly salary as regular staff. They may instead receive a smaller nightly payment or work under a different commission structure.

Freelancers may prefer this arrangement because it gives them more freedom to work at different venues or spend longer periods with particular customers.

Rules regarding lady drinks, bar fines and commissions can also differ for freelancers depending on the bar.

How Many Customers Do Go Go Dancers Have?

The number of customers a go go dancer sees depends heavily on her popularity, appearance, location and the venue where she works.

Top earning dancers may have up to two short time customers per day during busy periods, with individual sessions sometimes lasting relatively little time.

Meanwhile, older or less popular dancers may struggle to find even one customer on a particular day.

This difference helps explain why there can be such a wide gap between what individual go go dancers earn each month.

Sponsoring a Thai Go Go Dancer

Sponsors provide another significant source of income for many go go dancers.

It is not uncommon for a foreign man to meet a dancer while visiting Thailand, spend several days or weeks with her and then continue the relationship after returning to his home country.

He may begin sending her money every month because he believes this financial support will allow her to stop seeing customers.

Once a dancer secures a sponsor, however, she may continue working at the go go bar while reassuring him that she no longer leaves with customers.

Some dancers may tell sponsors that they have left the bar scene entirely. They might send photographs from the countryside, from home or from what appears to be a normal workplace while continuing to work in nightlife at other times.

Another situation we encounter is a woman having several foreign sponsors simultaneously. Each man may believe that he is the only boyfriend sending her money, while in reality she receives regular financial support from several different men.

For a successful dancer, sponsorship income can therefore substantially increase the amount she earns beyond her salary, customer payments, lady drinks and bar fine commissions.

Can a Go Go Dancer Earn More Than 100,000 THB Per Month?

Yes. Although many dancers will earn less than 100,000 THB per month, successful dancers can exceed that amount.

A dancer who receives a salary, frequent lady drink commissions, regular bar fine commissions, direct payments from customers, tips and money from one or more sponsors can potentially earn considerably more than somebody working an ordinary salaried job in Thailand.

This is also one reason why leaving the nightlife industry can be financially difficult. A dancer who has become accustomed to earning a high monthly income may not be able or willing to replace it with an ordinary job paying a fraction of the amount.

Does a Foreign Boyfriend Mean a Go Go Dancer Will Stop Working?

Not necessarily.

A foreign boyfriend may believe that sending enough money every month means the dancer no longer has any reason to see customers. In practice, the situation can be very different.

The dancer may continue going to the bar, accepting lady drinks and leaving with customers while maintaining regular contact with her boyfriend overseas.

Phone calls and video calls alone do not establish what somebody has been doing during the rest of the day or night.

If you are financially supporting a Thai go go dancer and need to know whether she is still working or seeing customers while you are outside Thailand, this can usually be checked discreetly.

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Published: September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 16 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Thai bar girls know exactly what to say to make themselves more appealing to customers and foreign boyfriends. After years of investigating relationships involving women working in Thailand's nightlife industry, we repeatedly hear many of the same stories and excuses. Here are 15 of the most common lies Thai bar girls tell foreigners.

1. “It’s my first week in the bar”

This is one of the most common stories bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims it is her first day, first week or first month working in the bar, these statements are often untrue.

One possible clue is if the lady already speaks confident conversational English despite claiming to have only just entered the nightlife industry. Many women improve their English substantially through years of speaking with foreign customers, although good English by itself obviously does not prove how long somebody has worked in a bar.

2. Lying about their age

Many Thai women can appear considerably younger than their actual age, and professionally applied makeup can enhance this further.

Thai bar girls are well aware that many customers prefer younger women, so it is not unusual for a lady to claim that she is younger than she really is. In some cases, the difference can be 10 years or more.

3. Lying about having children

Many ladies work in bars partly to support their families. Child support from an absent father may be limited or nonexistent, leaving the mother and her family responsible for supporting the children.

Having children may also be perceived as a disadvantage when trying to attract customers or foreign boyfriends. As a result, some bar girls lie about not having children or claim to have only one when they actually have two or three.

By the time the man discovers the truth, he may already be emotionally committed to the relationship and decide that it no longer matters.

4. Lying about their name

Bar girls frequently use nicknames rather than their formal Thai names. A lady might introduce herself as “Pin”, “Apple” or “Pea” rather than using the full name shown on her Thai ID card.

It is important to understand that using nicknames is completely normal in Thailand and is not automatically evidence of dishonesty. Thai people commonly use nicknames in everyday life, and many foreigners also find these names considerably easier to remember and pronounce.

However, if you are entering a serious relationship with somebody, you should eventually know her real legal name rather than only knowing the nickname she uses in the bar.

5. “I have never gone with a customer before”

A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible; that’s how they earn their money. If a lady claims she has never left the bar with a customer, don’t believe her.

She may be setting you up for a long distance relationship or trying to convince you that she is “different” and “not like the other girls”. Presenting herself as somebody who normally refuses customers can make her seem more attractive as a potential girlfriend rather than simply another woman working in the bar.

This is a common lie among bar girls, particularly when a customer appears interested in developing a relationship.

6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”

Many bar girls do have boyfriends, whether that is a local Thai man who accepts their profession or a foreigner who originally met them while they were working in the bar.

A bar girl trying to attract customers is unlikely to volunteer that she already has a boyfriend. Telling customers that she is single keeps her options open and makes it much easier for a foreign man to imagine that a genuine relationship could develop.

For some women, the goal may be to establish relationships with several foreign men, with each one believing that he is the only boyfriend or sponsor in her life. This can become extremely lucrative.

7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men

It is common to hear bar girls say that they do not like Thai men or that Thai men have treated them badly in previous relationships.

Sometimes this may be completely genuine. However, it can also be useful for a lady who wants to reassure a foreign customer that there is no local boyfriend or husband waiting in the background.

If a woman repeatedly tells you that she would never date a Thai man, do not treat that statement alone as proof that she does not currently have a Thai partner.

8. She feels sick after leaving the bar

After you have paid a bar fine and left with the lady, she might suddenly claim to feel unwell, perhaps developing a headache, stomach problem or some other unexpected illness.

The motivation can be straightforward. She may simply prefer a quiet evening watching television or resting rather than engaging in the activities you had anticipated.

Of course, people genuinely become ill as well, so not every headache is part of some elaborate deception. But it is certainly an excuse that customers hear from time to time.

9. “I don’t like young guys; I only like old men”

This line is normally reserved for customers who are somewhat older.

Some bar girls tell older men that they are specifically attracted to mature customers, which conveniently reassures the man that the age difference is not a problem.

While some ladies may genuinely prefer older men, there can also be practical reasons why older customers are attractive. Younger men may have less disposable income and can sometimes be more demanding, while older foreign customers are often financially established and more willing to spend money or provide generous tips.

10. “I want to go to massage school”

If you’re spending time with a bar girl, she may express a desire to attend massage school, open a beauty salon or establish another small business.

These plans can also signal to a potential boyfriend that she would be willing to leave bar work behind if somebody gave her the financial opportunity to do so.

Some ladies genuinely will attend massage training, open a salon or establish a successful business if given the opportunity. Others may accept money for a business or training course and then continue working in bars.

Typically, you will not know which situation you are dealing with until money has already changed hands, so large financial commitments should be approached carefully.

11. She does not answer your calls

When attempting to contact a Thai bar girl, you may occasionally find that she does not answer your calls. The phone goes unanswered repeatedly and your messages remain unread.

Several hours later, she may call back and say something like “Sorry, my phone had no battery”, “I was sleeping” or “I didn't hear the phone”.

There are obviously many innocent reasons why somebody might not answer their phone. However, one possibility is that she was spending time with another customer or boyfriend and could not safely answer without revealing where she was or who she was with.

If this becomes a repeated pattern at suspicious times, it can understandably raise questions.

12. “I was late because of bad traffic”

If a lady is with one customer and the meeting takes longer than expected, blaming bad traffic provides a very easy explanation for arriving late to see somebody else.

Traffic in Thai cities can genuinely be terrible, so it is also an excuse that is difficult to challenge.

Bear in mind that a short time session might last only 30 minutes or less. A delay of that length can therefore be enough time for somebody to finish meeting one customer before travelling to the next.

13. “He is only a friend”

If you look through a bar girl’s public social media profile, you may encounter photographs of her with other foreign men or Thai men.

If you ask who somebody is, a very common explanation is that “he is only a friend”. Another familiar explanation is that the man is gay.

Either explanation may sometimes be true. But if a woman is trying to appear single to a customer or foreign boyfriend, there is an obvious incentive to describe another man as a harmless friend rather than somebody she is dating or has previously been involved with.

14. “You are a handsome man”

No matter your appearance, you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight, and a bar girl may still tell you that you are a “handsome man”.

She is trying to make you feel good, and there is nothing particularly mysterious about why flattering a customer might be useful.

The phrase “handsome man” has become something of a running joke among visitors and expats in Pattaya, where seemingly every foreign man can become handsome the moment he walks past a beer bar.

15. “You have a good heart; I like you”

This is another classic piece of flattery. A bar girl may tell a customer, “You have a good heart, I like you” or “You are not like other guys”.

These compliments can help create the feeling that the relationship is somehow different from her normal interactions with customers.

The man begins to believe that she genuinely sees something special in him rather than simply treating him as another customer.

In many cases, the lady hopes that he will choose to spend more time with her instead of other women, provide additional financial support, or begin thinking about a longer term relationship.

All of those outcomes are potentially worth considerably more to her than a single night with a customer.

Related articles

• Finding Love in a Pattaya Bar: John's Bar Girl Story
• 8 reasons NOT to date or marry a Thai bar girl
• What is the sick buffalo story in Thailand?
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• Thai girlfriend scams in Pattaya
• How to tell if a Thai girl is good