Questions That Thai Bar Girls Ask Foreigners
Published: September 13, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
The women who work in bars in Thailand are far from unintelligent; many of them are, in fact, quite shrewd. They understand that finding the right man while working in a bar could lead to marriage and financial security for life. Many men who visit these bars fall for these women and ultimately become victims of the infamous ‘bar girl scam’.
Most bar girls know someone who has met a wealthy foreign husband through this line of work, and many are actively seeking a boyfriend or husband to support them.
After frequenting Thai bars, you’ll begin to notice that bar girls tend to ask a familiar set of questions. While these questions may initially seem like casual small talk, they often serve a deeper purpose—gathering information to assess the customer and his financial situation.
We’ve compiled a list of questions bar girls ask foreigners to better understand the underlying motivations and the information they seek.
What is your name and how old are you?
These are typically the first questions you’ll be asked in a Thai bar, after your drink order. “What’s your name?” and “How old are you?” serve as icebreakers, allowing the woman to introduce herself and initiate further conversation.
How many times have you been to Thailand?
This is a crucial question that can shape how the bar girl views her customer. If you respond that you've visited Thailand multiple times—say 10 or more—she’ll likely deduce that you're familiar with how things work. You’ve probably encountered other bar girls before and might even be aware of the scams they sometimes pull.
If it’s your first trip to Thailand, however, this will be music to her ears. First-time visitors are generally more trusting of what bar girls say and are potentially more vulnerable to scams.
TIP: If this is your first visit to Thailand, it’s best to keep that to yourself when talking to bar girls. Instead, claim you’ve been several times before.
Which hotel are you staying in?
This is another common question that may seem harmless but provides valuable insight into your financial standing. If you mention staying in a hostel or budget-friendly hotel, she’ll likely assume you don’t have much money to spend.
However, if you’re staying at a high-end hotel like The Hilton or another luxury establishment, it signals wealth. In this case, you may notice her level of interest rising.
Where do you work?
“Where do you work?” or “What you work?” (in broken English) is a direct way for her to gauge your social status and financial situation. If you say you work a low-paying job and have saved for years to holiday in Thailand, her interest in pursuing a long-term relationship may wane.
But if you mention you’re a CEO or a professional with a high-paying job, she’ll recognise that you have disposable income, which is exactly what she’s after.
Where do you come from?
While native English speakers can often distinguish accents—whether British, American, Australian, or South African—many Thai bar girls can’t, so they’ll ask directly where you’re from.
They also hold certain stereotypes about different nationalities, largely based on their own experiences or stories from friends. Generally, bar girls tend to prefer men from Western countries like the US, UK, Europe, or Australia.
How long are you staying in Thailand?
“How long is your holiday?” is another common question. If you’re only in Thailand for a week, the girl may assume your budget is more limited, and the timeframe for forming any kind of relationship is short.
However, if you’re staying for three or four weeks, it indicates that you can afford a longer holiday and might be a repeat visitor, making you more worthy of her attention.
What type of car do you drive?
Though seemingly an innocent question, it helps her form a clearer picture of your lifestyle and income.
While not all wealthy men drive flashy cars, those who don’t may be perceived as “cheap Charlies” by bar girls. Thai culture places significant importance on "saving face," and driving an expensive car, if possible, boosts one's social image. On the other hand, driving an old or budget car may be a turn-off.
Do you want a Thai girlfriend?
Some bar girls may ask this question quite directly, sometimes in a playful manner. If the answer is “yes,” it’s often seen as an open invitation for further advances, provided she sees you as financially viable.
However, finding a girlfriend in a Thai bar is never a good idea. Bar girls are always on the lookout for sponsors—men who will send them money while they continue working at the bar and seeing new clients.
Many bar girls also engage in scams, which can be very profitable for them but emotionally devastating for the men involved.
Why do bar girls ask these questions?
The questions mentioned above are typical small talk you’ll encounter while drinking in Thai bars. Bar girls ask these hundreds of times each month, gathering information to form an opinion about a customer’s wealth and suitability as a long-term partner or financial supporter.
“My girlfriend works in a Thai bar”
If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, you may be in for trouble. Our investigations often reveal that many bar girls cheat on their boyfriends when they’re abroad.
Instead of blindly sending money to a Thai bar girl, you can hire us to check on her activities and uncover the truth. Our bar girl investigations typically save clients far more money than our professional fees.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
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What are Bar Fines and How Much Do They Cost?
Published: September 12, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: January 23, 2025
If you’re planning to take a lady from a bar in Pattaya and spend time with her, you’ll need to pay a fee known as a “bar fine” to the establishment where she works.
In Pattaya, standard beer bars typically charge between 500 THB and 2,000 THB for bar fines. Beer bars in quieter, non-tourist areas might charge as little as 300 THB. Go-go bars, on the other hand, tend to be more expensive, with bar fines ranging from 1,500 to 2,500+ THB, especially for popular ladies in high-end venues.
The cost of a bar fine varies depending on the type of establishment and sometimes the time of night (for instance, some bars reduce their bar fines after midnight). Go-go bars almost always charge more than beer bars.
If your girlfriend works in a bar, then we can check her loyalty while you're not around. Learn more about our Bar Girl Investigation service.
What are Bar Fines?
Bar fines are payments made to the bar, allowing a customer to take a staff member with them. The lady in question typically receives a portion of this fee (usually around one-third). The bar fine itself does not cover any compensation for the lady; you’ll need to agree on a separate payment with her directly.
These fines also provide a certain level of ‘protection’ for customers, as the lady can be traced back to the bar if any issues arise, such as theft or misconduct. Knowing that they are accountable, most ladies will avoid any inappropriate behaviour.
Are Bar Fines Negotiable?
Generally, bar fines are not negotiable. You’ll be expected to pay whatever amount the bar’s mamasan or cashier asks for. However, if you plan to pay a bar fine for multiple days or weeks, some bars may offer a discount—though this is entirely at their discretion. Not all bars provide ‘bulk discounts,’ especially if the lady is popular or the bar is short-staffed.
When paying bar fines for extended periods, the bigger concern often isn’t the cost but the potential of becoming emotionally involved. Many men fall for the ladies and become entangled in a ‘bar girl scam,’ where the lady continues to work at the bar despite supposedly being in a relationship with a previous customer.
Why do Bars Charge Bar Fines?
When a lady leaves the bar with a customer, she’s no longer attracting patrons or having drinks purchased for her. With one less staff member, the bar loses revenue. Bar fines are essentially compensation for this loss.
Do Thai Women Enjoy Working in Bars?
Thai women often bear the responsibility of supporting their parents in old age. Additionally, many bar workers have children from previous relationships whom they need to support financially.
For some, working in bars is a practical way to learn English, earn an income, and potentially meet a future husband who might help provide for them and their families.
While some women view bar work as a means to an end—pursuing it for the financial benefits despite not particularly enjoying it—others genuinely seem to find the lifestyle appealing. From our experience, some women enjoy aspects like meeting customers, drinking socially, and staying in comfortable hotel rooms. However, this is not universally the case, as many do not find the work entirely fulfilling.
If you decide to pursue a relationship with a bar girl, then you should try to establish whether or not the lifestyle is something that she enjoys... However, this may be easier said than done.
Falling in Love with a Pattaya Bar Girl
Every year, thousands of foreign men visit Pattaya and fall in love with bar girls. If you spend significant time with one particular lady, you may find yourself in a similar situation.
Although some relationships between bar girls and foreigners work out, it usually takes a significant amount of willpower and capital. For every success story, there are numerous cautionary tales... Men who fall for bar girls often say, “She’s different!” or “She’s not like the others!”. When emotions take over, it’s easy to lose perspective.
Whether she works in a beer bar, go-go bar, gentleman’s club, or massage parlour, bar girls are typically in these jobs to support themselves and their families. Many have children from previous relationships and also need to care for their parents. The minimum wage in Thailand is quite low, often insufficient to support a family.
Without a university degree, it’s difficult to find a well-paying job in Thailand, leading many women to bar work to earn enough money. If you enter a relationship with a bar girl, you may need to send money regularly to support her and her family, which can lead to issues.
Stories of “bar girl scams” in Pattaya are common. Many men fall in love with these ladies and send them money, believing the lady will stop working or has returned to her family village. In reality, many bar girls continue to accept bar fines and leave with customers while still receiving financial support from a foreign boyfriend.
A common scam involves a lady maintaining multiple relationships with different foreign men, each thinking they’re the only one. This can allow some bar girls to earn substantial amounts of money.
You might be reading this and thinking, “That could never happen to me” or “She’s really different”… but this mindset is what leads many men to fall victim to bar girl scams. In reality, most bar girls are quite similar in their motivations.
If you’re in a relationship with a bar girl and want to determine her loyalty, we can help uncover the truth. We offer a range of services, including discreet surveillance, deploying a decoy while she’s at work, and conducting an advanced background check to examine her history.
We often conduct investigations into bar girls working in Pattaya to verify their loyalty to their foreign boyfriends. Most are not faithful and continue to leave with customers while their boyfriends are abroad. These investigations can save clients significant amounts of money, as well as emotional pain and heartache.
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How Much Does It Cost to Support a Thai Girlfriend?
Published: November 30, 2020 - Reading time: 5 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
Wondering how much it costs to support a Thai girlfriend? The answer varies depending on her lifestyle and financial needs. Financial support for a Thai girlfriend can range from 10,000 – 50,000 THB per month, with some men sending even more. According to a survey conducted by Kasikorn Research Centre, Thai household debt in 2023 was at an all-time high, affecting many Thai families and influencing the amount of financial assistance some girlfriends request.
What it costs to help your girlfriend depends on her specific circumstances. Many Thai women hold university degrees and have careers, making them self-sufficient. However, if your girlfriend works in a beer bar, go-go club, or other entertainment venues, there's a chance she may continue seeing clients while receiving money from you. It's vital to be aware of the "Thai girlfriend scam," a common pitfall where women have multiple foreign boyfriends sending them money.
Understanding Her Lifestyle
If your Thai girlfriend lives a high-end lifestyle, rent for a decent property can easily exceed 10,000 – 50,000 THB per month, which will add to the amount she may ask for. Meanwhile, those working lower-wage jobs might require less support, but even small amounts can significantly improve their living conditions in Thailand.
Investing in Her Future
Instead of merely supplementing a low-wage salary, consider helping her invest in her future. Whether through higher education or starting a business, the costs in Thailand are often much lower than in Western countries. For example, you could help her attend university, where tuition fees are affordable compared to the West, or start a small business with a modest investment.
Building a house on her land could cost around 1,000,000 THB, far less than in many other countries. By investing in her future, you could improve her financial stability and create a more sustainable partnership.
Debt and Financial Transparency
Debt is a major concern in Thailand. According to the Bank of Thailand, household debt was around 90% of the GDP in 2022, with many Thai women affected. It’s essential to ask about her financial state early in the relationship, as "saving face" is an important cultural value in Thailand. Your girlfriend may be reluctant to admit if she’s in debt, or if her family is facing financial difficulties, until you’ve been in the relationship for some time.
Does She Have Children?
Many Thai women working in tourist hotspots like Bangkok or Pattaya have children from previous relationships. Thai culture around child support is different from Western norms, and it’s not uncommon for Thai fathers to avoid paying support, leaving the mother to handle everything. As a result, many women work in bars or similar establishments to provide for their children and parents.
Is She Honest With You?
If you’re sending money to your Thai girlfriend, it's crucial to ensure she’s not seeing other men. The "Thai girlfriend scam" often involves multiple foreign men unknowingly supporting the same woman, who might be dishonest about her personal life. Unfortunately, this type of romance scam is widespread in areas like Pattaya, where women seek financial support from tourists. Catching a professional scammer is difficult without proper help.
Meet Her Family
To assess the seriousness of your relationship, meeting her family is a key step. Thai women are expected to support their parents, and once you’re in a committed relationship, that responsibility often extends to you. Meeting her parents also shows that you’re serious about the relationship and helps establish transparency.
Need Help Investigating?
If you're unsure whether your Thai girlfriend is being honest, we can help. Our agents work across Thailand to provide background checks and ensure that your relationship is built on trust. Get in touch for a free, no-obligation quote.
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Giving Money to Your Thai Girlfriend and Her Family
Published: November 27, 2020 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 15, 2024
Thai women and money are sensitive topics for many foreigners and are often misunderstood by those unfamiliar with Thai culture or life in Thailand. This article provides guidance to help you understand the cultural expectations and avoid common pitfalls when supporting a Thai girlfriend financially.
Understanding Thai Culture and Financial Responsibilities
In traditional Thai culture, a husband is expected to support his wife and her family, including parents and children. Thai men carry the same obligations, and this is not an attempt to exploit foreigners. It’s simply how Thai relationships work. In contrast, the man’s own parents are usually cared for by his sisters, as women are traditionally responsible for looking after their parents in old age.
If you enter a serious relationship with a Thai woman, especially from a rural or less affluent background, you’ll likely be expected to help support her family. This might involve providing regular financial assistance. Thai people see this as a natural part of family duty, not a demand for charity.
Getting to Know Your Thai Girlfriend’s Family
Meeting your Thai girlfriend’s family is an important step in understanding their financial situation. If her family is financially stable, you may not be expected to contribute. However, if she comes from a poorer background, especially rural farming communities in Northern Thailand, you might be asked to help out more.
We recommend visiting her family’s home to see their living conditions and understand their way of life. This gives you an opportunity to ask her parents about their expectations and assess their financial situation. While there are stories of Thai families taking advantage of foreigners, most are reasonable and won’t make unreasonable demands.
How Much Money Should I Give My Thai Girlfriend?
The amount you give your Thai girlfriend largely depends on her personal and family circumstances. If she is well-educated and financially independent, she may not need regular support. However, many foreigners do provide their girlfriends with a monthly allowance, typically between 10,000 to 50,000 THB.
If your girlfriend is supporting her parents or children, her financial needs will naturally be higher. Some foreigners have even reported giving upwards of 100,000 THB per month, though this is less common. Before giving money, consider her lifestyle, expenses, and the number of people she supports.
Be cautious if your Thai girlfriend works in bars, nightclubs, massage parlours, or similar venues. Unfortunately, it’s common for women in these professions to continue seeing other men while receiving money from you.
Debt and Financial Pressures in Thailand
Household debt is a major issue in Thailand, with many families owing large sums of money. According to recent statistics, household debt accounted for 83.8% of Thailand's GDP in June 2020. If your Thai girlfriend’s family has debts—such as vehicle loans, mortgages, or personal loans—it’s important to know this early on.
Unfortunately, your girlfriend may not be upfront about her family’s financial difficulties. Due to the Thai concept of “saving face,” she might fear you’ll leave if she reveals her family’s debts. Some women may use other excuses, like a family member’s illness, to explain their need for money. We can perform a background check to learn more about her circumstances.
The Risk of Scams: Fake University Students and Bar Girls
It’s not uncommon for Thai women to lie about their job or educational background. Some may claim to be university students when they are actually working in bars or other entertainment venues. They might even show you photos taken at a university to make their story more convincing.
We’ve seen cases where women pretend to work in respectable jobs while continuing to sleep with other men for money. These are often professional scammers who juggle multiple foreign boyfriends. If you suspect something is wrong, consider hiring a private investigator to check her background and employment status.
Protecting Yourself Financially: How to Avoid Being Scammed
Before you invest large amounts of money in your relationship, it’s important to verify your Thai girlfriend’s claims. Just as you would perform due diligence before entering a business deal, you should do the same when considering significant financial commitments in a relationship.
At PattayaPI, we offer various services to help you protect yourself. From background checks to personal surveillance, we can help ensure your relationship is based on honesty.
Refusing to Support Your Thai Girlfriend’s Family
If you don’t want to financially support your girlfriend’s family, be aware that this could strain your relationship. It’s a deeply ingrained cultural expectation for Thai women, especially those from poorer backgrounds, to receive financial help from their partner.
While some foreigners set boundaries, like refusing to help their girlfriend’s parents, this may lead to the breakdown of the relationship. If you’re not willing to help support her family, it may be better to avoid dating women from impoverished backgrounds in Thailand altogether.
Helping Your Thai Girlfriend Become Financially Independent
Rather than providing direct financial support indefinitely, some foreigners choose to help their Thai girlfriends become self-sufficient. This might involve paying for her education, helping her start a business, or investing in a farm or livestock. In many cases, even a relatively small investment can make a significant difference in Thailand.
Conclusion: Protect Your Heart and Wallet
Relationships with Thai women, especially those involving financial support, can be complex. It’s important to understand cultural expectations and make informed decisions. If you’re concerned about being scammed or taken advantage of, consider a background check or private investigation to verify your girlfriend’s story. Contact us today for professional advice and services.
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