8 Reasons to Think Twice Before Dating a Thai Bar Girl
Published: October 13, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
When reading online or chatting with other foreign visitors to Thailand, you will likely hear a plethora of horror stories from men who have developed romantic entanglements with ladies working at bars. Whether they met their girlfriend in a beer bar, go-go bar, or nightclub, many foreigners choose to pursue relationships with bar girls in Thailand's adult entertainment scene.
While some foreigners successfully marry Thai bar girls and enjoy lasting relationships, countless others experience heartbreak, deception, and financial loss. In this article, we will explore 8 reasons you should reconsider dating a Thai bar girl:
1. She Will Cheat on You
If you're dating a lady working at a beer bar, go-go bar, or similar establishment, the harsh reality is that she is likely to cheat on you. Even if she claims she doesn’t go with customers or that “no one can bar fine her,” statistics show otherwise.
Our investigations into hundreds of bar girls reveal that a significant majority continue to be unfaithful while their ‘boyfriends’ are out of the country.
Bar girls operate in these venues to make money by catering to customers. Even with promises of loyalty, many may use clever excuses and fabrications to conceal their actions from you unless you provide financial support through regular money transfers. Moreover, even with such support, there's no guarantee of her fidelity, as past experiences have demonstrated.
If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, we can help monitor her behaviour while you are abroad. Feel free to contact our experienced team for a confidential consultation, or click to learn more about bar girl investigations.
2. Money is Paramount to Bar Girls
Thai women often turn to bar work in order to support their families and earn money quickly. This financial dependence can place a strain on your relationship.
If your girlfriend chooses to leave her job at the bar for a low-paying menial position elsewhere, then you will likely find yourself in a position where you must subsidise her income to prevent her from returning to the nightlife.
Without a solid education, your girlfriend may struggle to secure a well-paying job, leaving you with the responsibility of supporting her financially. While some men are fine with their Thai girlfriend working in bars, they must accept that this usually means she will continue seeing other customers. Our experience shows that promises of fidelity are rarely kept in such cases.
3. Bar Girls Often Lack Education
The majority of women working in touristy bars in Thailand—such as those in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket—are not locals but rather come from rural areas, particularly the Isaan region. Many bar girls lack formal education, and their English skills may be limited, learned mainly through interactions with foreign patrons.
Engaging in conversations about world events or history may reveal significant gaps in their knowledge. If you are dating a bar girl, consider how this may impact your relationship.
If your Thai girlfriend's English speaking abilities are not great, then you could help to enrol her in a local language school or study online.
4. Family Comes First
In Thailand, family is of utmost importance, and your Thai girlfriend will likely prioritise her family's needs above yours. If you marry a Thai girl, you may also find yourself responsible for supporting her family financially. That means, if her buffalo is sick, or if her mother's washing machine breaks, or if her child needs to pay school tuition, or if her dad needs money to fertilise his rice fields, or her uncle is sick in hospital - then she will do whatever she can to help, and as her partner that responsibility will fall partly onto you.
Thai women are often 'package deals'; investing in a relationship with a bar girl means you are also investing in her dependent family members. They might be reasonable people, they might even have money themselves- or they might be poor and see you as a 'cash cow'. It would be a wise endeavour to meet with her family early on and see how amiable they are towards you.
5. Bar Girls May Enjoy Their Work
While some may view bar work as undesirable, many bar girls genuinely enjoy their jobs. The nightlife can be seen as a fun escape from the mundanity of previous factory jobs, allowing them to socialise and earn money from customers.
This lifestyle can lead to difficulties if your girlfriend tries to transition back to a conventional job. Does she want to be scrubbing floors or stacking shelves for 10 hours a day? Those who enjoy working in bars may resist changing their ways, potentially impacting your relationship.
6. There May Be Other Men in Her Life
Bar girls interact with numerous customers daily, which increases the likelihood of forming emotional connections. Many will exchange numbers and maintain contact with clients long after their time in Thailand.
Even if she isn't 'bar fined' frequently, the risk of infidelity exists. If you pursue a romantic relationship with a bar girl, be aware of the complexities that may arise... You might find that messages from strange men are popping up on her phone for months or even years into the future. The question is whether she will be honest with you or choose to secretly communicate with former clients.
7. Visa Challenges for Bar Girls
If you envision a long-term relationship with a Thai bar girl, you may consider bringing her to your home country. However, securing a visa for a bar girl can be challenging due to their profession. Immigration officials often scrutinise applications from individuals in the sex industry.
Moreover, bar girls are usually paid in cash, which complicates their ability to provide necessary documentation such as bank statements. Limited education and unstable income make it even more challenging to navigate the visa application process and secure a long term future with your partner.
8. Health Risks
Dating someone with multiple sexual partners increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Many infections can be asymptomatic, making regular testing essential for both you and your partner. Clinics are readily available in Pattaya for such health services.
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