15 Common Lies Thai Bar Girls Tell Foreigners

Published: September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 16 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Thai bar girls know exactly what to say to make themselves more appealing to customers and foreign boyfriends. After years of investigating relationships involving women working in Thailand's nightlife industry, we repeatedly hear many of the same stories and excuses. Here are 15 of the most common lies Thai bar girls tell foreigners.

1. “It’s my first week in the bar”

This is one of the most common stories bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims it is her first day, first week or first month working in the bar, these statements are often untrue.

One possible clue is if the lady already speaks confident conversational English despite claiming to have only just entered the nightlife industry. Many women improve their English substantially through years of speaking with foreign customers, although good English by itself obviously does not prove how long somebody has worked in a bar.

2. Lying about their age

Many Thai women can appear considerably younger than their actual age, and professionally applied makeup can enhance this further.

Thai bar girls are well aware that many customers prefer younger women, so it is not unusual for a lady to claim that she is younger than she really is. In some cases, the difference can be 10 years or more.

3. Lying about having children

Many ladies work in bars partly to support their families. Child support from an absent father may be limited or nonexistent, leaving the mother and her family responsible for supporting the children.

Having children may also be perceived as a disadvantage when trying to attract customers or foreign boyfriends. As a result, some bar girls lie about not having children or claim to have only one when they actually have two or three.

By the time the man discovers the truth, he may already be emotionally committed to the relationship and decide that it no longer matters.

4. Lying about their name

Bar girls frequently use nicknames rather than their formal Thai names. A lady might introduce herself as “Pin”, “Apple” or “Pea” rather than using the full name shown on her Thai ID card.

It is important to understand that using nicknames is completely normal in Thailand and is not automatically evidence of dishonesty. Thai people commonly use nicknames in everyday life, and many foreigners also find these names considerably easier to remember and pronounce.

However, if you are entering a serious relationship with somebody, you should eventually know her real legal name rather than only knowing the nickname she uses in the bar.

5. “I have never gone with a customer before”

A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible; that’s how they earn their money. If a lady claims she has never left the bar with a customer, don’t believe her.

She may be setting you up for a long distance relationship or trying to convince you that she is “different” and “not like the other girls”. Presenting herself as somebody who normally refuses customers can make her seem more attractive as a potential girlfriend rather than simply another woman working in the bar.

This is a common lie among bar girls, particularly when a customer appears interested in developing a relationship.

6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”

Many bar girls do have boyfriends, whether that is a local Thai man who accepts their profession or a foreigner who originally met them while they were working in the bar.

A bar girl trying to attract customers is unlikely to volunteer that she already has a boyfriend. Telling customers that she is single keeps her options open and makes it much easier for a foreign man to imagine that a genuine relationship could develop.

For some women, the goal may be to establish relationships with several foreign men, with each one believing that he is the only boyfriend or sponsor in her life. This can become extremely lucrative.

7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men

It is common to hear bar girls say that they do not like Thai men or that Thai men have treated them badly in previous relationships.

Sometimes this may be completely genuine. However, it can also be useful for a lady who wants to reassure a foreign customer that there is no local boyfriend or husband waiting in the background.

If a woman repeatedly tells you that she would never date a Thai man, do not treat that statement alone as proof that she does not currently have a Thai partner.

8. She feels sick after leaving the bar

After you have paid a bar fine and left with the lady, she might suddenly claim to feel unwell, perhaps developing a headache, stomach problem or some other unexpected illness.

The motivation can be straightforward. She may simply prefer a quiet evening watching television or resting rather than engaging in the activities you had anticipated.

Of course, people genuinely become ill as well, so not every headache is part of some elaborate deception. But it is certainly an excuse that customers hear from time to time.

9. “I don’t like young guys; I only like old men”

This line is normally reserved for customers who are somewhat older.

Some bar girls tell older men that they are specifically attracted to mature customers, which conveniently reassures the man that the age difference is not a problem.

While some ladies may genuinely prefer older men, there can also be practical reasons why older customers are attractive. Younger men may have less disposable income and can sometimes be more demanding, while older foreign customers are often financially established and more willing to spend money or provide generous tips.

10. “I want to go to massage school”

If you’re spending time with a bar girl, she may express a desire to attend massage school, open a beauty salon or establish another small business.

These plans can also signal to a potential boyfriend that she would be willing to leave bar work behind if somebody gave her the financial opportunity to do so.

Some ladies genuinely will attend massage training, open a salon or establish a successful business if given the opportunity. Others may accept money for a business or training course and then continue working in bars.

Typically, you will not know which situation you are dealing with until money has already changed hands, so large financial commitments should be approached carefully.

11. She does not answer your calls

When attempting to contact a Thai bar girl, you may occasionally find that she does not answer your calls. The phone goes unanswered repeatedly and your messages remain unread.

Several hours later, she may call back and say something like “Sorry, my phone had no battery”, “I was sleeping” or “I didn't hear the phone”.

There are obviously many innocent reasons why somebody might not answer their phone. However, one possibility is that she was spending time with another customer or boyfriend and could not safely answer without revealing where she was or who she was with.

If this becomes a repeated pattern at suspicious times, it can understandably raise questions.

12. “I was late because of bad traffic”

If a lady is with one customer and the meeting takes longer than expected, blaming bad traffic provides a very easy explanation for arriving late to see somebody else.

Traffic in Thai cities can genuinely be terrible, so it is also an excuse that is difficult to challenge.

Bear in mind that a short time session might last only 30 minutes or less. A delay of that length can therefore be enough time for somebody to finish meeting one customer before travelling to the next.

13. “He is only a friend”

If you look through a bar girl’s public social media profile, you may encounter photographs of her with other foreign men or Thai men.

If you ask who somebody is, a very common explanation is that “he is only a friend”. Another familiar explanation is that the man is gay.

Either explanation may sometimes be true. But if a woman is trying to appear single to a customer or foreign boyfriend, there is an obvious incentive to describe another man as a harmless friend rather than somebody she is dating or has previously been involved with.

14. “You are a handsome man”

No matter your appearance, you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight, and a bar girl may still tell you that you are a “handsome man”.

She is trying to make you feel good, and there is nothing particularly mysterious about why flattering a customer might be useful.

The phrase “handsome man” has become something of a running joke among visitors and expats in Pattaya, where seemingly every foreign man can become handsome the moment he walks past a beer bar.

15. “You have a good heart; I like you”

This is another classic piece of flattery. A bar girl may tell a customer, “You have a good heart, I like you” or “You are not like other guys”.

These compliments can help create the feeling that the relationship is somehow different from her normal interactions with customers.

The man begins to believe that she genuinely sees something special in him rather than simply treating him as another customer.

In many cases, the lady hopes that he will choose to spend more time with her instead of other women, provide additional financial support, or begin thinking about a longer term relationship.

All of those outcomes are potentially worth considerably more to her than a single night with a customer.

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