We have all heard of so-called horror stories involving relationships between Western men and Thai ladies… Stories where ladies have scammed their boyfriends for money, or cases where ladies have carried on relationships with several different men at the same time. If you met your girlfriend in a place such as Pattaya, or through internet dating, then the odds that you might fall victim to a romance scam will be significantly higher.
However, not all Thai women are bad or looking to scam their foreign boyfriends for money. Many are genuine and seek out genuine relationships with foreigners.
So, how can you tell a good Thai girl from a bad one? The truth is that spotting the difference is often very difficult. However, there are some subtle clues which you can look for in your Thai girlfriend. We have put together the following list which might help to offer some tips.
Some foreigners that visit Thailand spend their time almost exclusively in nightlife areas, where it’s easy to develop the wrong perception of Thai ladies and Thai culture. Don’t allow your perception of Thailand to be formed by ladies that work in red light areas.
Thai culture is traditionally very reserved and a ‘good’ Thai girl is not likely to sleep with you on your first date or before she has gotten to know you.
If a Thai girl does sleep with you after your first date, then chances are it is not the first time she has done so, and she might not be a ‘good’ Thai girl.
Females smoking cigarettes is somewhat taboo in Thai culture, and most (if not all) of the Thai ladies that you will find puffing on cigarettes will be working in red light areas.
If your Thai girlfriend smokes cigarettes, this should act as a red flag that she is possibly not a ‘good girl’, and might have a history in the Thai nightlife scene.
In Thai culture, many do not perceive a relationship as legitimate until a wedding has taken place and the couple are married. A good Thai girl will look to formally ratify your relationship with her through marriage as soon as things start to become serious between you.
It should be mentioned however that this point is somewhat of a double-edged sword… When getting married to a Thai lady, the groom will usually be obliged to provide a dowry (or ‘sin sod’) payment to the lady’s parents, which can range anywhere from 300,000 THB up to several millions of baht in some cases.
There have been documented cases where ladies will use this payment to their advantage, and will split-up with their partner soon after receiving wedding gifts or a large dowry. The payment is a gift and once paid is usually non-refundable. Bear this in mind and think carefully before tying the knot or handing over wads of cash.
This point is slowly changing in recent times with influence from Western culture, however, it can still be said that many Thai ladies that sport ink have previously worked in Thailand’s adult entertainment industry.
We are not suggesting all Thai women that have tattoos are necessarily ‘bad’, however, this is one point to consider when assessing your Thai girlfriend. ‘Good Thai girls’ tend not to have tattoos.
Is your girlfriend constantly asking you for money and/or lavish gifts? This could be a clear sign that she is more interested in using you as a walking ATM machine rather than cultivating a romantic relationship between you.
Some romance scammers are fully aware that asking for money early on in a relationship will be seen as a red flag – we have seen numerous cases where a lady will not ask for anything until she has an ‘accident’ or an urgent need for money. Could she be playing a long game instead?
Thai culture is traditionally quite modest and reserved. Outside of Thailand’s red-light areas, you might struggle to find ladies that are comfortable wearing clothes which reveal too much of their bodies.
If a Thai lady is comfortable being seen in public with very revealing clothes, this could provide a clue that she is perhaps not a ‘good Thai girl’.
Is your girlfriend only interested in talking about which restaurants you are taking her to, or where you can go shopping? Does your girlfriend make long term plans for her career and your relationship with her in general?
If your girlfriend regularly talks about her plans for your relationship with her in the long term, this could be a sign that she sees your romance as genuine and that she has good intentions.
You may have heard the phrase ‘you can learn a lot about a person by the company they keep’… We think this adage also applies to Thai ladies. If a large portion of your girlfriend’s friend group includes ‘working girls’ (especially bar girls, dancers, and similar), you should really question how she has accumulated friends in these places. If your girlfriend currently works, or previously worked in a bar, then she is definitely not a ‘good Thai girl’.
If your girlfriend walks into a nightclub for example, and everyone there knows her by name, then it’s safe to assume she has spent a considerable amount of time there. Even if your girlfriend does not work in a club, many ‘freelancers’ visit such places in order to meet and hook up with customers. If you are leaving your girlfriend alone in Thailand, then be wary about this behaviour continuing while you are not around.
If your girlfriend only has professional friends with respectable careers, this is a signal that she might indeed be a ‘good Thai girl’.
Drinking is tolerated in Thai culture, but reasonably so. If your girlfriend insists on going out to the bar every night and getting sloppy drunk, this should act as a definite red flag. If your girlfriend only drinks in moderation on the other hand, this is a good sign and reflection of her character.
The minimum wage in Thailand is very meager and barely enough to survive on. In order to earn a decent, liveable salary most Thais will need to pursue qualifications, or a university degree in their chosen profession. Choosing a career and earning a relevant degree is one way for Thais to earn themselves a decent amount of money.
If your Thai girlfriend has no career, no education, and possibly children or a family to support financially, then she will probably look for you to help with money, or to help her gain the relevant training so that she is able to earn enough money to support herself. A ‘good Thai girl’ should already have a clear path planned out before seeking a foreign boyfriend.
Do not underestimate the intelligence and determination of romance scammers! If your Thai girlfriend is looking purely to extract money from you or take advantage of you in some way, then she will likely be aware of how to do so without drawing suspicion from you.
For ladies that are involved in the profession of romance scamming, their activities are very much seen as a job. Romance scammers will typically hone their craft over many relationships with different men. They learn the things to say and topics to avoid.
Detecting a romance scammer or determining whether a Thai lady is ‘bad’ is often quite difficult. Many of our clients never suspected they were being taken advantage of until they were presented with evidence gathered by us.
If you have concerns that your Thai girlfriend might be cheating on you, then we can help. Our private detectives cover all areas of Thailand. We can help to check your girlfriend’s activities while you are not around and find out if she truly is a ‘good Thai girl’. Please feel free to get in touch with one of our experience team members for a free quote. We will need to know all of the information and details in order to assess your case – please remember to let us know where in Thailand your girlfriend is based.