Traditionally in Thai culture, the daughter of the family will be tasked with providing for her parents in their old age, and if you enter into a serious relationship with a Thai lady then a large part of that burden will transfer onto you... You will be responsible for supporting your girlfriend as well as her family.
If you decide to form a relationship with a Thai lady that does not have much money or a good career for herself, then it makes sense that you would help her out where possible.
However, there does come a point where some ladies can take advantage of their foreign boyfriends. Based on our experience as private detectives, we have put together this article which outlines some of the signs that your Thai girlfriend is just using you for money:
We have all heard stories about Thai ladies who receive a monthly allowance from their foreign boyfriends. Monthly allowances of anywhere between 30,000 to 100,000 THB are common for these arrangements, and sometimes the figure can be much higher.
If you are happy to pay, and can afford to give your girlfriend a monthly allowance, then why not? After all, if the lady is not working then she will still need to send money to her family in order to support them, and have some spare cash for day-to-day expenses.
We should point out that not all Thai women support their parents – if your partner comes from an affluent family then they might not require any assistance from her. However, when foreign men become romantically involved with Thai ladies, this is usually not the case. Most women that partner with foreigners tend to come from poor farming communities.
Some will argue that “If you are paying an allowance to your girlfriend then you have an employee rather than a relationship”; this argument may hold merit in some cases, and we suggest that if your girlfriend is demanding a significant allowance every month then perhaps she is more interested in your wallet than a deep and meaningful relationship.
We all need money to survive and we all have financial goals in our lives. However, if your Thai girlfriend is constantly, constantly talking about money, about how much money her friends have or how much allowance she claims that her friends receive from their boyfriends, to the point where she is obsessed with money and material possessions, then this crosses the line and should act as a red flag.
In spite of what you might assume while wandering through tourist geared areas of the country (especially red-light areas), Thailand is steeped in cultural traditions. One of those traditions is the sanctity of marriage.
If you are engaged in a serious, romantic relationship with a Thai lady for a prolonged period of time, then it will be normal for her to expect you to marry her.
Marriage will help to showcase your relationship to her close friends and relatives, including the ghosts and spirits of her ancestors.
Getting married is important in Thailand in order to sanctify relationships, and if your Thai girlfriend shows absolutely no interest in getting married to you, then perhaps she is not totally committed to you.
Of course, if your girlfriend does want to get married but demands a huge dowry payment as part of the wedding, then this could act as a red flag in itself.
In Thailand, it is part of the culture that a groom will hand a gift to the parents of his bride when getting married. This dowry or “sin sod” payment, as it is known, will usually form a sizeable pile of cash along with some Thai gold. The payment can also include property deeds, land, or a vehicle in some cases.
Dowries typically range anywhere from 300,000 – 600,000+ THB. If a lady is well educated or comes from a ‘high-so’ family, then it is not uncommon for parents to receive north of 1,000,000 THB in some cases.
This payment will be given to the bride’s parents for them to keep as consolation for their daughter getting married.
Remember that the lady’s parents will ultimately decide how much money they are willing to accept as a dowry/sin sod payment. If your girlfriend or her family are demanding a huge amount of money then you should question whether the relationship is more about her financial gain.
A dowry is ultimately a gift, and once paid you will never see it again… It would be wise to make sure that the relationship will last before deciding to hand over a pile of money on your wedding day.
If your girlfriend constantly complains that she needs the latest iPhone, that her motorbike is too old, she needs new clothes, that her parent’s fridge needs to be replaced, or whatever it might be, this could be a sign that she is trying to extract as much money as possible from the relationship.
Gold in Thailand is very different to gold in Western countries. Thai gold is a high purity (usually 96.5% or 23 karat), and it has a distinctive yellow colour. Gold can be easily sold or pawned at any of the numerous gold shops in any town or city. Because gold can be easily traded for cash at any time, it’s a great way for Thai people to save money.
Many Thai ladies enjoy wearing gold jewellery, but tastefully so… If your girlfriend is demanding to walk around with as much gold on as Mr. T, then you ought to question her motives behind the relationship.
Is your girlfriend content with what you are able to provide for her, or does she always want something more? A lady that is not truly interested in a relationship will demand expensive gifts. She is not content with small gestures like a bouquet of flowers and is only happy when you are shelling out on high ticket items.
Does she try to make you feel guilty or bad about not providing her with what she wants?
It is natural for ladies to occasionally ask for gifts during a relationship. However, if your girlfriend comes out with never-ending demands for gifts and is never content with what you provide, this is a sure sign that she could be using you for money.
If your girlfriend is genuinely interested in you and your relationship with her, then she will be glad to introduce you to her close friends and family.
Particularly in Thailand, introducing a boyfriend to your parents is a big deal and gaining their approval helps to ratify the relationship. If your girlfriend does not want to introduce you to her parents, then ask yourself why might this be the case? Does she have a Thai man waiting for her in her hometown? Are there other men in her life that she has introduced to her family? Or is she just not serious about your relationship with her long term?
An emotional connection is essential in order to build a healthy and lasting relationship. If there is no emotional connection then your relationship is unlikely to last in the long term.
Do you share an emotional connection with your girlfriend? Does she ask about your feelings, dreams, insecurities, and long term goals? Do you have deep conversations with her?
If your girlfriend avoids meaningful conversation and prefers to talk about material things and stuff that she wants from you, this is a sign that she could be using the relationship purely for her own financial gain.
Whenever you are having difficulties or need a shoulder to cry on, she is nowhere to be found. She might show fake affection and send messages asking how you are, but deep down she shows no real interest in you or your life in general.
Whenever you vent to her about a problem you are having, she pays no attention, changes the subject, or tells you to stop complaining. However, when she needs to vent about something then her attitude is reversed and you are expected to pay full attention.
If your girlfriend doesn’t care about your needs and ditches you whenever things start to become difficult, this is a red flag that perhaps she is more interested in money than you or your relationship with her.
Some of the ladies that work in touristy areas of Thailand (especially in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and the islands), are not looking for a relationship with foreign men - they are looking for customers.
This might be the case if a lady already has another man in her life, or if she is simply looking to earn a quick buck. Some women can perfect what is known as the “girlfriend experience” with their customers, which can lead some men into believing that a relationship is genuine, when for the lady it is purely business.
Pay attention to your girlfriend when she is speaking to other people, does she describe you as her customer or as her boyfriend? Listen out for the Thai word “customer”, which sounds like “lukkha”, if she is using this word to describe you then it is safe to assume that she views your as her customer, rather than her boyfriend.
If you are dating a Thai lady who does not have a well-paid career, or comes from a poor farming community, then it is to be expected that you will need to help her financially… If you are not OK with sharing your wealth in this way, then perhaps you should look to date a lady from a more affluent background that does not require help with money.
Furthermore, if your girlfriend is 20 or 30 years younger than you, then the likelihood that she might be using the relationship for her financial gain will be somewhat increased.
When supporting a Thai lady, you would be wise to consider how your money is being spent. The adage “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime”, is relevant in many cases.
If you are paying a dowry to your bride’s parents, for example, could the money be spent to purchase farm machinery such as a tractor so that her father is able to earn a living for himself? Are her parents willing to work or are they expecting a free ride? Instead of paying your girlfriend an allowance, could you help her to attend school or setup her own business? Many ladies are happy to work and build a better future for themselves given the opportunity.
All women are different and all situations can vary; providing advice on relationships with Thai ladies which applies to all circumstances is nigh on impossible.
If your girlfriend is running a “Thai girlfriend scam”, and taking you for a ride, then discovering the truth of the situation will likely prove to be extremely difficult – you may need to seek professional help in order to find out what is going on. This is where we come in.
If you suspect that your Thai girlfriend is cheating on you, then we can help to check her activities and discover what is really going on. Investigating Thai ladies usually saves our clients far more money than it would cost in supporting their girlfriend for even a short period of time.
We offer free quotes for all work. Please feel free to contact one of our experienced team members for help and advice. In order for us to provide a quote for surveillance cases, we will need to know where your girlfriend lives, and any other details surrounding the case. Rest assured that all contact with us is strictly private and confidential.
Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators.