Questions That Thai Bar Girls Ask Foreigners
Published: September 13, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 16, 2024
The women who work in bars in Thailand are far from unintelligent; many of them are, in fact, quite shrewd. They understand that finding the right man while working in a bar could lead to marriage and financial security for life. Many men who visit these bars fall for these women and ultimately become victims of the infamous ‘bar girl scam’.
Most bar girls know someone who has met a wealthy foreign husband through this line of work, and many are actively seeking a boyfriend or husband to support them.
After frequenting Thai bars, you’ll begin to notice that bar girls tend to ask a familiar set of questions. While these questions may initially seem like casual small talk, they often serve a deeper purpose—gathering information to assess the customer and his financial situation.
We’ve compiled a list of questions bar girls ask foreigners to better understand the underlying motivations and the information they seek.
What is your name and how old are you?
These are typically the first questions you’ll be asked in a Thai bar, after your drink order. “What’s your name?” and “How old are you?” serve as icebreakers, allowing the woman to introduce herself and initiate further conversation.
How many times have you been to Thailand?
This is a crucial question that can shape how the bar girl views her customer. If you respond that you've visited Thailand multiple times—say 10 or more—she’ll likely deduce that you're familiar with how things work. You’ve probably encountered other bar girls before and might even be aware of the scams they sometimes pull.
If it’s your first trip to Thailand, however, this will be music to her ears. First-time visitors are generally more trusting of what bar girls say and are potentially more vulnerable to scams.
TIP: If this is your first visit to Thailand, it’s best to keep that to yourself when talking to bar girls. Instead, claim you’ve been several times before.
Which hotel are you staying in?
This is another common question that may seem harmless but provides valuable insight into your financial standing. If you mention staying in a hostel or budget-friendly hotel, she’ll likely assume you don’t have much money to spend.
However, if you’re staying at a high-end hotel like The Hilton or another luxury establishment, it signals wealth. In this case, you may notice her level of interest rising.
Where do you work?
“Where do you work?” or “What you work?” (in broken English) is a direct way for her to gauge your social status and financial situation. If you say you work a low-paying job and have saved for years to holiday in Thailand, her interest in pursuing a long-term relationship may wane.
But if you mention you’re a CEO or a professional with a high-paying job, she’ll recognise that you have disposable income, which is exactly what she’s after.
Where do you come from?
While native English speakers can often distinguish accents—whether British, American, Australian, or South African—many Thai bar girls can’t, so they’ll ask directly where you’re from.
They also hold certain stereotypes about different nationalities, largely based on their own experiences or stories from friends. Generally, bar girls tend to prefer men from Western countries like the US, UK, Europe, or Australia.
How long are you staying in Thailand?
“How long is your holiday?” is another common question. If you’re only in Thailand for a week, the girl may assume your budget is more limited, and the timeframe for forming any kind of relationship is short.
However, if you’re staying for three or four weeks, it indicates that you can afford a longer holiday and might be a repeat visitor, making you more worthy of her attention.
What type of car do you drive?
Though seemingly an innocent question, it helps her form a clearer picture of your lifestyle and income.
While not all wealthy men drive flashy cars, those who don’t may be perceived as “cheap Charlies” by bar girls. Thai culture places significant importance on "saving face," and driving an expensive car, if possible, boosts one's social image. On the other hand, driving an old or budget car may be a turn-off.
Do you want a Thai girlfriend?
Some bar girls may ask this question quite directly, sometimes in a playful manner. If the answer is “yes,” it’s often seen as an open invitation for further advances, provided she sees you as financially viable.
However, finding a girlfriend in a Thai bar is never a good idea. Bar girls are always on the lookout for sponsors—men who will send them money while they continue working at the bar and seeing new clients.
Many bar girls also engage in scams, which can be very profitable for them but emotionally devastating for the men involved.
Why do bar girls ask these questions?
The questions mentioned above are typical small talk you’ll encounter while drinking in Thai bars. Bar girls ask these hundreds of times each month, gathering information to form an opinion about a customer’s wealth and suitability as a long-term partner or financial supporter.
“My girlfriend works in a Thai bar”
If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, you may be in for trouble. Our investigations often reveal that many bar girls cheat on their boyfriends when they’re abroad.
Instead of blindly sending money to a Thai bar girl, you can hire us to check on her activities and uncover the truth. Our bar girl investigations typically save clients far more money than our professional fees.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
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