Thai Bar Girl as your Girlfriend, Can it Work?
Published: May 31, 2017 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: October 19, 2024
A lot of talk happens online in the expat community surrounding bar girls, go-go dancers, and other so-called ladies of the night who work in Thailand’s nightlife areas. Most people recommend avoiding Thai bar girls for any type of serious relationship and highlight the pitfalls, or stories of themselves or their friends losing vast amounts of money to bar girls.
On the other hand, in some cases, men do visit Thailand, become involved with bar girls, and end up getting married, having children, and leading happy lives together... To understand this issue, you really need to look into the cause of prostitution in Thailand.
Why is she working in the bar?
Often, women in Thailand are pushed into bar work by economic pressure. The minimum wage in Thailand is around 300–400 baht per day, and the conversion to US dollars varies depending on the exchange rate. While life in Thailand is cheaper compared to Western countries, supporting an entire family on minimum wage is extremely difficult. Bar girls need more money than this to support themselves and their families.
For a detailed look into the Thai nightlife scene, including the realities of working girls, bar girls, and what motivates them, read our free bar girl guide. This guide covers everything you need to know about bar girls.
Thai bar girl as your girlfriend, can it work?
Thousands of foreigners visit Thailand every year and develop romances with Thai bar girls. If you fit into this category, then you are following in the footsteps of countless other men. Some bar girls that are dating foreign men are faithful while their boyfriends are not in the country, but most of the bar girl investigations that our agency has handled have not fallen into this category. Many bar girls are found to continue leaving the bar with new men on a regular basis. If their boyfriends had not contacted us and started an investigation, they never would have known what was really going on.
Over time, many bar girls become very proficient liars. They understand how foreign men think and know exactly what to say to convince their boyfriends of their loyalty. Sometimes, bar girls will help each other write messages in English, making them even more convincing. Whether or not their partner suspects anything, these ladies can be very good at maintaining their stories.
Most of the bar girls that we check are found to be leaving the bar with customers while their foreign boyfriends are on the other end of the phone, sending them messages from home. Unless you are sending a bar girl significant amounts of money each month, it is likely that she is still leaving the bar with other customers. Of course, even if you are sending her money, there’s still a risk that she’ll continue her activities. Some women simply won’t stop and can tell elaborate lies to reassure their sponsors.
Thai bar girls support their families
It’s possible to survive in Thailand on minimum wage, but it’s not easy. Traditionally, in Thai culture, sons are expected to support their parents until they have their own family. Daughters, on the other hand, often carry the burden of supporting their family forever, even after they have children. This means that many bar girls are not just feeding themselves, but also their parents, children, and possibly other relatives. Many, if not most, bar girls in Thailand have children, but they will likely deny this if asked. "You have children?" "No, no!". They are used to saying this because they know it may put off potential customers or boyfriends.
Once a Thai lady has a child, it can become difficult for her to find a relationship with another man that will provide for her and her family financially. While it may be cheaper to live in Thailand than in the West, the cost of supporting a family, sending children to school, and managing a household can become overwhelming. For women with limited education, bar work often appears as a viable solution to their financial problems.
Supporting a Thai bar girl financially
By supporting a Thai bar girl, you are responsible for ensuring her financial stability as well as that of her family and dependents. If her family struggles with debt, illness, or needs help rebuilding their home, the responsibility falls on you. Stories of needing money for a sick buffalo, medical bills, or family emergencies are common, and bar girls often present plausible reasons for needing extra cash. High-earning bar girls may even have several “boyfriends,” some sending money regularly, others only during visits. We recommend checking your Thai girlfriend to ensure you are her only boyfriend.
Thai bar girl as a girlfriend
Generally, there are two types of bar girls. Some will leave the bar and the industry altogether if their financial burden is lifted by a foreign sponsor. These women might be eager to stop working and start a new life if they find the right partner. On the other hand, some bar girls see foreign men as ATM machines, keeping several boyfriends while continuing their bar work to maximise income. For these women, sending money to start a legitimate business or attend university often leads to nothing but lies. These are the women involved in the infamous "Thai bar girl scam".
Whether your relationship with a Thai bar girl turns out well or not depends on the individual. As a leading detective agency, we’ve seen both outcomes. If your girlfriend works in a bar, we can help you by conducting a bar girl investigation. Sometimes these relationships work out, but often, they don’t. It really depends on the girl. It is also advisable to hire a private investigator if you suspect your Thai girlfriend is still working in the nightlife scene or maintaining multiple relationships behind your back. Having an investigation will give you peace of mind and prevent costly mistakes.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
Marrying a Thai bar girl
Marriage is an important institution in Thai culture, and most Thai people value it highly. To legitimise a relationship, a marriage will often need to take place. Depending on your girlfriend and her family’s preferences, Thai weddings can be expensive or relatively cheap. The tradition of paying a dowry, or “sin sod,” remains common in Thailand. You may be expected to give cash, gold, or even a house or car as part of this.
If you’re planning to marry a Thai lady, it’s important to understand these traditions and the financial implications. Before making a large financial commitment, we can help you gather information about her through background checks or bar girl investigations.
At PattayaPI, we understand the challenges involved in these relationships. If you’ve chosen the wrong woman, she might be a professional liar, excellent at manipulating situations to her advantage. We’ve seen it all and are here to help you uncover the truth. Before investing emotionally or financially, let us assist you with an investigation. In the long run, hiring a private investigator can save you thousands and give you peace of mind. Whether she’s lying or being honest, we’ll uncover the facts, and your partner will never know she’s been investigated. Contact us for a free quote.
Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators on our homepage.
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