Published: March 8, 2025 - Reading time: 19 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Introduction: We interview Chris, a former bar manager who worked in Pattaya’s bar scene for over nine years. While we’ve changed his name for privacy reasons, Chris has seen it all during his time managing a popular bar in the heart of Pattaya city. He’s witnessed the highs, the lows, and everything in between when it comes to working in the Thai nightlife industry. In this interview, Chris shares his insights into the world of bar girls, managing a bar, and the complex dynamics at play. For obvious reasons, the name of his bar remains undisclosed.

How was it working as a bar manager in Thailand? Is that a good job?

It’s a young man’s game in my opinion. Being a bar manager or owner means drinking almost every night, and it takes a serious toll on your health. You need to be outgoing and approachable. Over time, that also can become draining. It involves dealing with people and keeping them happy. I’ve seen numerous guys who retired and bought bars, only to drink themselves into an early grave. That’s why I threw in the towel. I just couldn’t handle the alcohol anymore. If you’re planning to do this long term, be very careful. It isn’t a job I would recommend to guys with a low level of self control either.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about bar girls in Thailand?

The biggest misconception is that a bar girl can remain faithful to you while she’s still working in the bar. A lot of guys think they’ve met “the one” and that she’s different, and she might be, but the reality is, if she’s still working in the bar, she’s still leaving with customers. That’s just her job. If she wasn’t doing that, she wouldn’t be making money. Over the years, some guys asked me to 'keep tabs' on their girlfriends for them, but in the interest of the business, I just couldn't get caught up in personal drama. I'd tell the boyfriends to send their lady back up to the village if he didn't want her to see other men.

Do bar girls ever refuse customers?

It’s extremely rare for a bar girl to turn down a customer. Even if the guy is old, overweight, or unattractive, most will still go with him because money is money. If anything, they might try to charge more if the man is particularly repulsive. That being said, I have seen a couple of situations where a girl has refused. Once, a guy had such bad body odour that every girl in the bar refused to go with him. I think it’s safe to say that all women hate the smell of body odour, and Thai ladies are no exception. Another time, a girl turned down a man because she was tipped off by the other staff that he was connected to her previous customer or sponsor, and she knew she was being tested by him. He couldn't speak Thai or understand what they were saying about him... But those are exceptions. Most of the time, they’ll take whoever pays.

What’s your advice for newbies to the bar scene in Thailand?

Be careful, think with your big head, and don’t get carried away. If you’re going to spend time with women, stick to reputable bars and go go bars where they have cameras and know who’s working there. Don’t get drunk to the point where you lose control. Pattaya is full of guys who’ve had too much and ended up in hospital or worse. And never drink and drive. Taxis and motorbike taxis are very cheap, so there’s no excuse. Don’t rent a scooter either. Protect yourself in every way possible.

What advice would you give to someone thinking about buying a bar in Thailand?

Be extremely careful. It’s a minefield. Owning a bar in Thailand is complicated. There’s a ton of paperwork, you need the right connections, and getting a work permit isn’t easy. Most bars are only leasehold deals and you’re essentially paying to have your name added to a lease, along with a few stools and some fridges. On top of that, scams are everywhere. If you’re serious about it, you need to spend a long time in Thailand first, understand how things work, understand the market, and get a good lawyer. This is not something for beginners.

Why do bar girls do this job? What motivates them?

Bar girls often do this job because they have few other options. Many of them come from poor backgrounds and work in bars because it’s one of the few ways to earn good money, especially if they are good looking and desirable. Most of the bar girls I’ve met have been single mothers, and usually the father provides zero financial support. For some, it’s an opportunity to earn more money than they would doing some minimum wage job, which is barely enough to support yourself, your parents, and a kid or two.

Are all bar girls looking for a foreign husband?

I think that a lot of bar girls are aiming to find a long term partner, however, this is not always true. Some ladies see the job as normal work and have no desire to stop, especially if they are able to earn good money, 100,000+ THB per month for example. I’ve seen ladies come straight off the bus from the village and start work without speaking any English besides 'Hello how are you'. I’ve seen how they can change over time. Believe me, if you’re being lied to by a lady that has five boyfriends, then you’re not going to find out by simply asking her some tough questions and making video calls to her at the same time every night. This is literally her job. Some ladies may come with the ambition of finding a husband, but after spending time with guys that have made broken promises and used them, the ladies themselves can understandably become hardened.

Can a bar girl be faithful if she has a boyfriend?

If she’s still working in the bar, then no. She’s still going with customers. That’s her job. If you’re serious about her, you need to take her out of the bar, clear any debts she has, fix her mom’s leaky tin roof, and make sure she has another way to make money. Take a trip up to the village and meet her parents in order to show her that you are serious. Provide serious financial support. Get married. Otherwise, she will keep doing what she has to do to survive, and that means seeing other men. No matter what they tell you, bar girls don’t take relationships seriously if their 'boyfriend' allows them to continue working in a bar. How could they?

My Thai girlfriend works in a bar but says she doesn't accept bar fines. Can I trust her?

I'm sure that some guys reading this article will actually believe that, but unfortunately, it is bullshit. If you don't believe me, then please contact my friends at Pattaya Private Investigators. They can check for you, and if she is loyal, then you have nothing to fear. I've personally witnessed bar girls call their boyfriends from inside my condo on many occasions. They can sit on the toilet or just sit on the floor in front of a plain white wall in the condo and make a video call while I'm sitting on the bed listening to it and rolling my eyes. Once I overheard the conversation and the guy, an American, had purchased a diamond engagement ring for the lady. He totally believed that she was waiting for him to come back and marry him. He believed that she would never accept a bar fine. After all, she was making regular video calls as proof of that! Making calls or sending messages every night doesn't prove anything.

What is the most shocking thing you have seen?

That's a tough one. And it depends on what your idea of 'shocking' is. I've seen physical altercations happen which could've been avoided... Let me make a point of elaborating further. If you decide to 'take' a lady from a specific bar, then you must never return to that establishment and then try to 'bar fine' a different woman. We understand that it's their job, but doing this is likely to create feelings of jealousy and would cause the lady to lose face. I've also seen 'shocking' situations where guys have tried to 'rescue' ladies... One guy built the lady a house to live in. It even had a nice swimming pool. As soon as it was finished, she came right back to working in the bar. Stuff like that is shocking. I've seen a lady receive millions of baht in a year only to lose it all due to a gambling addiction. Lots of stuff. What shocks you?

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting older?

As bar girls age, their options in the profession become more limited, but they continue working for financial security. As they get older, the demand for younger women in the bars can make it harder for them to find customers. But many bar girls don’t have pensions or savings to rely on when they get older. Their families often depend on their income, and in many cases, they have no other skills or means to make money. Because of this, older women may stay in the profession longer than they would like.

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting fatter?

555. This is a question or comment I’ve often heard from old boys who first visited Pattaya in the ‘80s or ‘90s. I think people all over the world are generally getting bigger, and bar girls are no exception. The fascination many bar girls, and Thai people in general, have with Western culture could also explain why tattoos are becoming more common in Pattaya too. It's just because they're becoming more popular all over the world. Personally, I’m not attracted to women who are extremely skinny, so I’m not complaining.

Are the lady drinks always alcoholic?

... If you've got a lady that weighs 43 kilos (94 lbs) drinking 30 shots a night, do you think it's all alcoholic or not? It would be physically impossible for all the lady drinks to contain alcohol. You might be on vacation, but these ladies are in the bar every night and need to pace themselves.

Can you ever take the "bar" out of the girl?

It can be difficult to take the “bar” out of a girl. Even if you get her out of the bar, the lifestyle can be hard to change. A girl who’s spent years working in that environment can find it difficult to adjust to a different way of life. If she earned lots and lots of money in the past, then is she going to settle for your financial support instead? It’s not just about the money. It’s the attention, the lifestyle, the lust, and the connections they build. Getting a bar girl to leave her job behind and live a “normal” life is challenging, and it requires a lot of support and commitment, both from you and her.

Do you regret working in Pattaya?

No, not at all. It taught me a lot about human nature, and I have a lot of good memories about my time in Pattaya. Ultimately, I have decided to move on and further my professional career back home, but I think I'll always look back fondly on this time in my life.

How can I find out if my Thai girlfriend is cheating?

If you have doubts, you may want to find out what is actually happening rather than relying on calls and messages alone. If your Thai girlfriend works in a bar in Pattaya and you want to know whether she is leaving with customers, seeing another man, or telling you the truth about what she is doing, a private investigator can check discreetly.

Final Thoughts?

Be careful in every sense of the word. Protect yourself, protect your interests, and don’t be stupid. Have fun, but don’t let emotions or alcohol cloud your judgement. Enjoy yourself, but always keep your eyes open.

Published: October 13, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: June 13, 2025

When reading online or chatting with other foreign visitors to Thailand, you will likely hear a plethora of horror stories from men who have developed romantic entanglements with ladies working at bars. Whether they met their girlfriend in a beer bar, go-go bar, or nightclub, many foreigners choose to pursue relationships with bar girls in Thailand's adult entertainment scene.

While some foreigners successfully marry Thai bar girls and enjoy lasting relationships, countless others experience heartbreak, deception, and financial loss. In this article, we will explore 8 reasons you should reconsider dating a Thai bar girl:

1. She Will Cheat on You

If you're dating a lady that works at a beer bar, go-go bar, or similar establishment, the harsh reality is that she is likely to cheat on you. Even if she claims she doesn’t go with customers or that “no one can bar fine her,” statistics show otherwise.

Our investigations into hundreds of bar girls reveal that a significant majority continue to be unfaithful while their ‘boyfriends’ are out of the country... Indeed, many will also seek out additional ‘boyfriends’ while continuing to work in the bar.

Common tactics include sending messages all day and calling at the same time every night after she finishes work. You may feel that you know exactly what she is doing, however this is usually a clever illusion. In one case, for example, a lady told our agent that her mother was sick in hospital, and she could only be available for ‘short time’ arrangements as she might need to leave suddenly. The ‘sick mother’, as it turns out, was actually our American client that was trying to keep close tabs on her movements.

If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, we can help monitor her behaviour while you are abroad. Feel free to contact our experienced team for a confidential consultation, or click to learn more about bar girl investigations.

2. Money is Paramount to Bar Girls

Thai women often turn to bar work in order to support their families and earn money quickly. This financial dependence can place a strain on your relationship.

If your girlfriend chooses to leave her job at the bar for a low-paying menial position elsewhere, then you will likely find yourself in a position where you must subsidise her income to prevent her from returning to the nightlife.

Without a solid education, your girlfriend may struggle to secure a well-paying job, leaving you with the responsibility of supporting her financially. While some men are fine with their Thai girlfriend working in bars, they must accept that this usually means she will continue seeing other customers. Our experience shows that promises of fidelity are rarely kept in such cases.

Also, try to consider her immediate needs... Is her family living in a tin shack that needs to be replaced? Does she have debt? Is she responsible for farming land? How many people are dependant on her financially? To truly understand her situation, it would be advisable to visit her hometown or village and speak to her immediate family members. In some cases, we can also do this for you.

3. Bar Girls Often Lack Education

The majority of women working in touristy bars in Thailand—such as those in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket—are not locals but rather come from rural areas, particularly the Isaan region. Many bar girls lack formal education, and their English skills may be limited, learned mainly through interactions with foreign patrons.

Engaging in conversations about world events or history may reveal significant gaps in their knowledge. If you are dating a bar girl, consider how this may impact your relationship.

If your Thai girlfriend's English speaking abilities are not great, then you could help to enrol her in a local language school or study online.

4. Family Comes First

In Thailand, family is of utmost importance, and your Thai girlfriend will likely prioritise her family's needs above yours. If you marry a Thai girl, you may also find yourself responsible for supporting her family financially. That means, if her buffalo is sick, or if her mother's washing machine breaks, or if her child needs to pay school tuition, or if her dad needs money to fertilise his rice fields, or her uncle is sick in hospital - then she will do whatever she can to help, and as her partner that responsibility will fall partly onto you.

Thai women are often 'package deals'; investing in a relationship with a bar girl means you are also investing in her dependent family members. They might be reasonable people, they might even have money themselves- or they might be poor and see you as a 'cash cow'. It would be a wise endeavour to meet with her family early on and see how amiable they are towards you.

5. Bar Girls May Enjoy Their Work

While some may view bar work as undesirable, many bar girls genuinely enjoy their jobs. The nightlife can be seen as a fun escape from the mundanity of previous factory jobs, allowing them to socialise and earn money from customers.

This lifestyle can lead to difficulties if your girlfriend tries to transition back to a conventional job. Does she want to be scrubbing floors or stacking shelves for 10 hours a day? Those who enjoy working in bars may resist changing their ways, potentially impacting your relationship.

6. There May Be Other Men in Her Life

Bar girls interact with numerous customers daily, which increases the likelihood of forming emotional connections. Many will exchange numbers and maintain contact with clients long after their time in Thailand.

Even if she isn't 'bar fined' frequently, the risk of infidelity exists. If you pursue a romantic relationship with a bar girl, be aware of the complexities that may arise... You might find that messages from strange men are popping up on her phone for months or years into the future. The question is whether she will be honest with you or choose to secretly communicate with former clients.

7. Visa Challenges for Bar Girls

If you envision a long-term relationship with a Thai bar girl, you may consider bringing her to your home country. However, securing a visa for a bar girl can be challenging due to their profession. Immigration officials often scrutinise applications from individuals in the sex industry.

Moreover, bar girls are usually paid in cash, which complicates their ability to provide necessary documentation such as bank statements. Limited education and unstable income make it even more challenging to navigate the visa application process and secure a long term future with your partner.

8. Health Risks

Dating someone with multiple sexual partners increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Many infections can be asymptomatic, making regular testing essential for both you and your partner. Clinics are readily available in Pattaya for such health services.

Related Articles

• Guide to Thai Bar Girls: What Tourists Need to Know
• Are Thai Girlfriends Expensive?
• 11 Signs Your Thai Girlfriend Is Using You for Money
• 15 Lies That Thai Bar Girls Tell Foreigners

Published: September 30, 2021 - Reading time: 17 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Although we call them “girls”, Thai bar girls are adult women. A more accurate term might be “Thai bar ladies”.

They differ from Western bar staff. Thai bar girls often engage in paid companionship or prostitution, although exactly how individual women work and what services they provide varies considerably.

This guide explains what Thai bar girls are, where they work, how bar fines and lady drinks operate, how they make money, common terminology, and some of the issues foreigners should understand before becoming involved with somebody working in Thailand’s nightlife industry.

What is a Thai bar girl?

A Thai bar girl works in bars across Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and other nightlife hotspots, chatting with customers and encouraging them to buy special “lady drinks”.

Depending on the type of venue, customers may also be able to pay a fee to the bar so that the lady can leave with them. This is commonly known as a bar fine.

The customer and the lady then make their own arrangement regarding any additional payment for her time or company.

How Do Bar Fines and Lady Drinks Work?

Two terms that newcomers to Thailand’s nightlife scene will hear almost immediately are “lady drink” and “bar fine”.

A lady drink is a drink purchased by a customer for a woman working in the bar. It usually costs more than an ordinary customer drink because the lady receives a commission from the sale.

Buying a lady drink gives the customer an opportunity to sit and talk with her while also allowing her to earn money during the conversation.

A bar fine is different. This is a payment made to the venue when a customer wants a lady to leave the bar before the end of her shift. The payment compensates the bar for losing a member of staff who might otherwise have generated lady drink commissions or other revenue.

The bar fine is normally separate from whatever arrangement the customer makes directly with the lady.

Prices vary considerably depending on the type of venue, location, time of night, and whether the lady is leaving for a short period or for the rest of the evening.

Why do Thai women work in bars?

There is no single reason why women enter Thailand’s nightlife industry.

Daughters in Thai culture are often expected to help support ageing parents, and many women also have children or other family members who depend on them financially.

For somebody with limited qualifications or employment opportunities, bar work can potentially provide considerably more income than many ordinary jobs.

Some women enter the industry temporarily to pay debts, support children, build a house or save money. Others remain in nightlife for many years because they become accustomed to the income and lifestyle.

Some also hope to meet a foreign boyfriend or husband who will provide long term financial support for them and their families.

Where do Thai bar girls work?

• Beer bars: Casual open fronted venues where customers drink, socialise and buy lady drinks.
• Go go bars: Higher priced nightlife venues where women usually dance on stage between sitting with customers.
• Gentleman’s clubs: More discreet, air conditioned venues that often provide a different atmosphere from traditional beer bars.
• Ladyboy bars: Nightlife venues featuring transgender women.
• Nightclubs and discos: Freelancers may visit nightclubs specifically to meet customers.
• Freelancer friendly bars: Some bars and nightlife venues encourage freelance ladies to visit and meet customers even though they are not employed directly by the venue.

Freelancers are slightly different from bar girls because they are not necessarily attached to a specific bar. They may meet customers through nightclubs, dating apps, social media or other nightlife venues and arrange payment directly.

Common Thai Bar Girl Phrases

• Butterfly: A man who moves between different women rather than remaining with one partner.
• Bar fine: Fee paid to the venue when a customer wants a lady to leave the bar.
• No money, no honey: A straightforward reminder that attention and relationships in the nightlife environment often depend heavily on money.
• Lady drink: A premium priced drink purchased for a lady working in the bar, from which she normally receives a commission.
• Cheque bin: The container used to hold a customer’s individual drink receipts or checks during the evening.
• Mamasan: The woman responsible for supervising or managing the ladies working in a bar.
• Can't eat love: Love alone does not pay rent, support children or provide money for a woman’s family.
• Short time: An arrangement where a lady spends a relatively short period with a customer.
• Long time: An arrangement where a lady remains with a customer for a longer period, often overnight.
• Sponsor: A foreign boyfriend or customer who regularly sends financial support.

How Much Do Thai Bar Girls Earn and How Do They Make Money?

There is no standard income for a Thai bar girl. Earnings depend heavily on the venue, location, season, appearance, language ability, number of customers and how the individual lady chooses to work.

Income can come from several different sources:

• Salary: Some bars pay a weekly or monthly salary. Full salary may be conditional on hitting minimum targets for lady drinks or bar fines, and failing to meet those targets can result in deductions.
• Tips: Direct payments from customers.
• Lady drink commissions: A commission paid whenever a customer buys her a lady drink. This might typically be around 30 to 80 THB depending on the venue and location.
• Bar fines: A lady may benefit directly or indirectly when customers pay to take her out of the venue.
• Short time and long time fees: Direct payments made by customers for her time and company.
• Sponsorship: Regular financial support from foreign boyfriends or sponsors.

For successful women working in busy nightlife areas, sponsorship can sometimes become as important as income earned directly from customers.

Thai Bar Girl Scams and Dating a Thai Bar Girl

Many guys assume that once they enter into a relationship with a Thai bar girl, she will stop seeing other customers. In reality, that is frequently not what happens.

Most continue working behind the scenes even while accepting money from a boyfriend or sponsor who believes he is the only man in her life.

This is not simply an opinion. It is based on more than a decade of real world experience investigating hundreds of Thai bar girls. Time and time again, we have seen the same pattern play out. The relationship appears exclusive to the foreign boyfriend, but the reality is very different.

Typically, a bar girl may message her boyfriend throughout the day and call him every night after work. To many men, this feels like clear proof of loyalty.

In reality, it proves very little about what happened during the rest of the day or evening.

A lady who knows that her boyfriend expects a video call at a certain time can simply make sure she is somewhere suitable when the call takes place.

Many ladies only accept short time customers, meaning there may still be plenty of time to maintain regular calls, messages and video calls with a boyfriend overseas.

Excuses such as “I’m tired” or “I’m going to bed early” can also create a convincing sense of routine. The boyfriend believes everything is fine and that she is simply waiting for him to return to Thailand.

Another common situation is for one woman to have several sponsors in different countries. Each man may believe that he is in an exclusive relationship while sending money for rent, family expenses and other costs.

If you're reading this and thinking that something like that could never happen to you, remember that many of the men who eventually hire us were equally certain before they discovered otherwise.

Can a Thai Bar Girl Make a Good Girlfriend?

Yes, it is possible to have a genuine relationship with somebody who previously worked in a bar. Her occupation does not automatically determine what kind of partner she will be in the future.

The problem comes when one person believes that the relationship has become exclusive while the other person is still working in the nightlife industry or secretly seeing customers.

If you are serious about the relationship, have open conversations about money and expectations. Does she have debts? Does she support her parents? Does she have children? How much income would she lose by leaving the bar?

Simply telling somebody to stop working is unlikely to solve those financial pressures.

If she claims to have left the nightlife industry but you have good reason to suspect otherwise, discreet surveillance or a decoy investigation may help establish what is actually happening.

For a more detailed discussion, see our article: Thai Bar Girl as Your Girlfriend: Can It Work?

Are Thai Bar Girls Tested for STDs?

There is no reason to assume that a woman working in a bar is being regularly tested for HIV or other sexually transmitted infections simply because she works in a nightlife venue.

Some workers or venues may arrange voluntary health checks, but customers should never treat employment in a bar as evidence of somebody’s current sexual health status.

Prostitution is illegal in Thailand under the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act (1996), despite the fact that commercial sex remains widely associated with some nightlife areas.

If you're sexually active with somebody new, particularly where either partner may have other sexual partners, appropriate protection and regular sexual health testing are sensible precautions for both people.

Related articles

• Thai Bar Girl as Your Girlfriend: Can It Work?
• Another Thai Wife Horror Story
• 8 Reasons NOT to Date or Marry a Thai Bar Girl
• Are Thai Girlfriends Expensive?

Published: September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 16 minutes
» Updated: August 14, 2026

Thai bar girls know exactly what to say to make themselves more appealing to customers and foreign boyfriends. After years of investigating relationships involving women working in Thailand's nightlife industry, we repeatedly hear many of the same stories and excuses. Here are 15 of the most common lies Thai bar girls tell foreigners.

1. “It’s my first week in the bar”

This is one of the most common stories bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims it is her first day, first week or first month working in the bar, these statements are often untrue.

One possible clue is if the lady already speaks confident conversational English despite claiming to have only just entered the nightlife industry. Many women improve their English substantially through years of speaking with foreign customers, although good English by itself obviously does not prove how long somebody has worked in a bar.

2. Lying about their age

Many Thai women can appear considerably younger than their actual age, and professionally applied makeup can enhance this further.

Thai bar girls are well aware that many customers prefer younger women, so it is not unusual for a lady to claim that she is younger than she really is. In some cases, the difference can be 10 years or more.

3. Lying about having children

Many ladies work in bars partly to support their families. Child support from an absent father may be limited or nonexistent, leaving the mother and her family responsible for supporting the children.

Having children may also be perceived as a disadvantage when trying to attract customers or foreign boyfriends. As a result, some bar girls lie about not having children or claim to have only one when they actually have two or three.

By the time the man discovers the truth, he may already be emotionally committed to the relationship and decide that it no longer matters.

4. Lying about their name

Bar girls frequently use nicknames rather than their formal Thai names. A lady might introduce herself as “Pin”, “Apple” or “Pea” rather than using the full name shown on her Thai ID card.

It is important to understand that using nicknames is completely normal in Thailand and is not automatically evidence of dishonesty. Thai people commonly use nicknames in everyday life, and many foreigners also find these names considerably easier to remember and pronounce.

However, if you are entering a serious relationship with somebody, you should eventually know her real legal name rather than only knowing the nickname she uses in the bar.

5. “I have never gone with a customer before”

A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible; that’s how they earn their money. If a lady claims she has never left the bar with a customer, don’t believe her.

She may be setting you up for a long distance relationship or trying to convince you that she is “different” and “not like the other girls”. Presenting herself as somebody who normally refuses customers can make her seem more attractive as a potential girlfriend rather than simply another woman working in the bar.

This is a common lie among bar girls, particularly when a customer appears interested in developing a relationship.

6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”

Many bar girls do have boyfriends, whether that is a local Thai man who accepts their profession or a foreigner who originally met them while they were working in the bar.

A bar girl trying to attract customers is unlikely to volunteer that she already has a boyfriend. Telling customers that she is single keeps her options open and makes it much easier for a foreign man to imagine that a genuine relationship could develop.

For some women, the goal may be to establish relationships with several foreign men, with each one believing that he is the only boyfriend or sponsor in her life. This can become extremely lucrative.

7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men

It is common to hear bar girls say that they do not like Thai men or that Thai men have treated them badly in previous relationships.

Sometimes this may be completely genuine. However, it can also be useful for a lady who wants to reassure a foreign customer that there is no local boyfriend or husband waiting in the background.

If a woman repeatedly tells you that she would never date a Thai man, do not treat that statement alone as proof that she does not currently have a Thai partner.

8. She feels sick after leaving the bar

After you have paid a bar fine and left with the lady, she might suddenly claim to feel unwell, perhaps developing a headache, stomach problem or some other unexpected illness.

The motivation can be straightforward. She may simply prefer a quiet evening watching television or resting rather than engaging in the activities you had anticipated.

Of course, people genuinely become ill as well, so not every headache is part of some elaborate deception. But it is certainly an excuse that customers hear from time to time.

9. “I don’t like young guys; I only like old men”

This line is normally reserved for customers who are somewhat older.

Some bar girls tell older men that they are specifically attracted to mature customers, which conveniently reassures the man that the age difference is not a problem.

While some ladies may genuinely prefer older men, there can also be practical reasons why older customers are attractive. Younger men may have less disposable income and can sometimes be more demanding, while older foreign customers are often financially established and more willing to spend money or provide generous tips.

10. “I want to go to massage school”

If you’re spending time with a bar girl, she may express a desire to attend massage school, open a beauty salon or establish another small business.

These plans can also signal to a potential boyfriend that she would be willing to leave bar work behind if somebody gave her the financial opportunity to do so.

Some ladies genuinely will attend massage training, open a salon or establish a successful business if given the opportunity. Others may accept money for a business or training course and then continue working in bars.

Typically, you will not know which situation you are dealing with until money has already changed hands, so large financial commitments should be approached carefully.

11. She does not answer your calls

When attempting to contact a Thai bar girl, you may occasionally find that she does not answer your calls. The phone goes unanswered repeatedly and your messages remain unread.

Several hours later, she may call back and say something like “Sorry, my phone had no battery”, “I was sleeping” or “I didn't hear the phone”.

There are obviously many innocent reasons why somebody might not answer their phone. However, one possibility is that she was spending time with another customer or boyfriend and could not safely answer without revealing where she was or who she was with.

If this becomes a repeated pattern at suspicious times, it can understandably raise questions.

12. “I was late because of bad traffic”

If a lady is with one customer and the meeting takes longer than expected, blaming bad traffic provides a very easy explanation for arriving late to see somebody else.

Traffic in Thai cities can genuinely be terrible, so it is also an excuse that is difficult to challenge.

Bear in mind that a short time session might last only 30 minutes or less. A delay of that length can therefore be enough time for somebody to finish meeting one customer before travelling to the next.

13. “He is only a friend”

If you look through a bar girl’s public social media profile, you may encounter photographs of her with other foreign men or Thai men.

If you ask who somebody is, a very common explanation is that “he is only a friend”. Another familiar explanation is that the man is gay.

Either explanation may sometimes be true. But if a woman is trying to appear single to a customer or foreign boyfriend, there is an obvious incentive to describe another man as a harmless friend rather than somebody she is dating or has previously been involved with.

14. “You are a handsome man”

No matter your appearance, you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight, and a bar girl may still tell you that you are a “handsome man”.

She is trying to make you feel good, and there is nothing particularly mysterious about why flattering a customer might be useful.

The phrase “handsome man” has become something of a running joke among visitors and expats in Pattaya, where seemingly every foreign man can become handsome the moment he walks past a beer bar.

15. “You have a good heart; I like you”

This is another classic piece of flattery. A bar girl may tell a customer, “You have a good heart, I like you” or “You are not like other guys”.

These compliments can help create the feeling that the relationship is somehow different from her normal interactions with customers.

The man begins to believe that she genuinely sees something special in him rather than simply treating him as another customer.

In many cases, the lady hopes that he will choose to spend more time with her instead of other women, provide additional financial support, or begin thinking about a longer term relationship.

All of those outcomes are potentially worth considerably more to her than a single night with a customer.

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