Pattaya Bar Girl Secrets from a Former Bar Manager

Published: March 8, 2025 - Reading time: 13 minutes
» Updated: March 9, 2025

Introduction: We interview Chris, a former bar manager who worked in Pattaya’s bar scene for over nine years. While we’ve changed his name for privacy reasons, Chris has seen it all during his time managing a popular bar in the heart of Pattaya city. He’s witnessed the highs, the lows, and everything in between when it comes to working in the Thai nightlife industry. In this interview, Chris shares his insights into the world of bar girls, managing a bar, and the complex dynamics at play. For obvious reasons, the name of his bar remains undisclosed.

How was it working as a bar manager in Thailand? Is that a good job?

It’s a young man’s game in my opinion. Being a bar manager or owner means drinking almost every night, and it takes a serious toll on your health. You need to be outgoing and approachable—over time, that also can become draining. It involves dealing with people and keeping them happy. I’ve seen numerous guys who retired and bought bars, only to drink themselves into an early grave. That’s why I threw in the towel—I just couldn’t handle the alcohol anymore. If you’re planning to do this long-term, be very careful. It isn’t a job I would recommend to guys with a low level of self control either.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about bar girls in Thailand?

The biggest misconception is that a bar girl can remain faithful to you while she’s still working in the bar. A lot of guys think they’ve met “the one” and that she’s different, and she might be, but the reality is, if she’s still working in the bar, she’s still leaving with customers. That’s just her job. If she wasn’t doing that, she wouldn’t be making money. Over the years, some guys asked me to 'keep tabs' on their girlfriends for them, but in the interest of the business, I just couldn't get caught up in personal drama. I'd tell the boyfriends to send their lady back up to the village if he didn't want her to see other men.

Do bar girls ever refuse customers?

It’s extremely rare for a bar girl to turn down a customer. Even if the guy is old, overweight, or unattractive, most will still go with him because money is money. If anything, they might try to charge more if the man is particularly repulsive. That being said, I have seen a couple of situations where a girl has refused. Once, a guy had such bad body odour that every girl in the bar refused to go with him. I think it’s safe to say that all women hate the smell of body odour, and Thai ladies are no exception. Another time, a girl turned down a man because she was tipped off by the other staff that he was connected to her previous customer/sponsor, and she knew she was being tested by him. He couldn't speak Thai or understand what they were saying about him... But those are exceptions—most of the time, they’ll take whoever pays.

What’s your advice for newbies to the bar scene in Thailand?

Be careful, think with your big head, and don’t get carried away. If you’re going to spend time with women, stick to reputable bars and go-go bars where they have cameras and know who’s working there. Don’t get drunk to the point where you lose control—Pattaya is full of guys who’ve had too much and ended up in hospital or worse. And never drink and drive. Taxis and motorbike taxis are very cheap, so there’s no excuse. Don’t rent a scooter either. Protect yourself in every way possible.

What advice would you give to someone thinking about buying a bar in Thailand?

Be extremely careful. It’s a minefield. Owning a bar in Thailand is complicated. There’s a ton of paperwork, you need the right connections, and getting a work permit isn’t easy. Most bars are only leasehold deals and you’re essentially paying to have your name added to a lease, along with a few stools and some fridges. On top of that, scams are everywhere. If you’re serious about it, you need to spend a long time in Thailand first, understand how things work, understand the market, and get a good lawyer. This is not something for beginners.

Why do bar girls do this job? What motivates them?

Bar girls often do this job because they have few other options. Many of them come from poor backgrounds and work in bars because it’s one of the few ways to earn good money, especially if they are good looking and desirable. Most of the bar girls I’ve met have been single mothers, and usually the father provides zero financial support. For some, it’s an opportunity to earn more money than they would doing some minimum wage job, which is barely enough to support yourself, your parents, and a kid or two.

Are all bar girls looking for a foreign husband?

I think that a lot of bar girls are aiming to find a long term partner, however, this is not always true. Some ladies see the job as normal work and have no desire to stop, especially if they are able to earn good money (100,000+ THB per month, for example). I’ve seen ladies come straight off the bus from the village and start work without speaking any English besides ’Hello how are you'—I’ve seen how they can change over time. Believe me, if you’re being lied to by a lady that has five boyfriends, then you’re not going to find out by simply asking her some tough questions and making video calls to her at the same time every night—this is literally her job. Some ladies may come with the ambition of finding a husband, but after spending time with guys that have made broken promises and used them, the ladies themselves can understandably become hardened. 

Can a bar girl be faithful if she has a boyfriend?

If she’s still working in the bar, then no—she’s still going with customers. That’s her job. If you’re serious about her, you need to take her out of the bar, clear any debts she has, fix her mom’s leaky tin roof, and make sure she has another way to make money. Take a trip up to the village and meet her parents in order to show her that you are serious, provide serious financial support. Get married. Otherwise, she will keep doing what she has to do to survive, and that means seeing other men. No matter what they tell you, bar girls don’t take relationships seriously if their 'boyfriend' allows them to continue working in a bar, how could they?

"But my girlfriend works at a bar and doesn't accept bar fines, she calls me every night as proof. She just earns money from drinks"

I'm sure that some guys reading this article will actually believe that, but unfortunately, it is bullshit. If you don't believe me, then please contact my friends at Pattaya Private Investigators. They can check for you, and if she is loyal, then you have nothing to fear. I've personally witnessed bar girls call their boyfriends from inside my condo on many occasions. They can sit on the toilet or just sit on the floor in front of a plain white wall in the condo and make a video call while I'm sitting on the bed listening to it and rolling my eyes. Once I overheard the conversation and the guy (an American) had purchased a diamond engagement ring for the lady—he totally believed that she was waiting for him to come back and marry him; he believed that she would never accept a bar fine. After all, she was making regular video calls as proof of that! Making calls or sending messages every night doesn't prove anything.

What is the most shocking thing you have seen?

That's a tough one. And it depends on what your idea of 'shocking' is. I've seen physical altercations happen which could've been avoided... Let me make a point of elaborating further. If you decide to 'take' a lady from a specific bar, then you must never return to that establishment and then try to 'bar fine' a different woman. We understand that it's their job, but doing this is likely to create feelings of jealousy, and would cause the lady to lose face. I've also seen 'shocking' situations where guys have tried to 'rescue' ladies... One guy built the lady a house to live in, it even had a nice swimming pool. As soon as it was finished, she came right back to working in the bar. Stuff like that is shocking. I've seen a lady receive millions of baht in a year only to lose it all due to a gambling addition. Lots of stuff. What shocks you?

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting older?

As bar girls age, their options in the profession become more limited, but they continue working for financial security. As they get older, the demand for younger women in the bars can make it harder for them to find customers. But many bar girls don’t have pensions or savings to rely on when they get older. Their families often depend on their income, and in many cases, they have no other skills or means to make money. Because of this, older women may stay in the profession longer than they would like.

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting fatter?

555. This is a question or comment I’ve often heard from old boys who first visited Pattaya in the ‘80s or ‘90s. I think people all over the world are generally getting bigger, and bar girls are no exception. The fascination many bar girls (and Thai people in general) have with Western culture could also explain why tattoos are becoming more common in Pattaya too—it's just because they're becoming more popular all over the world. Personally, I’m not attracted to women who are extremely skinny, so I’m not complaining.

Are the lady drinks always alcoholic?

... If you've got a lady that weighs 43 kilos (94 lbs) drinking 30 shots a night, do you think it's all alcoholic or not? It would be physically impossible for all the lady drinks to contain alcohol. You might be on vacation, but these ladies are in the bar every night and need to pace themselves.

Can you ever take the "bar" out of the girl?

It can be difficult to take the “bar” out of a girl. Even if you get her out of the bar, the lifestyle can be hard to change. A girl who’s spent years working in that environment can find it difficult to adjust to a different way of life. If she earns lots and lots of money in the past, then is she going to settle for your financial support instead? It’s not just about the money—it’s the attention, the lifestyle, the lust, and the connections they build. Getting a bar girl to leave her job behind and live a “normal” life is challenging, and it requires a lot of support and commitment, both from you and her.

Do you regret working in Pattaya?

No, not at all. It taught me a lot about human nature, and I have a lot of good memories about my time in Pattaya. Ultimately, I have decided to move on and further my professional career back home, but I think I'll always look back fondly on this time in my life.

How can I find out if my Thai girlfriend is being faithful?

If you have doubts, you already know the answer. But if you need proof, a PI can find out for you. Contact Pattaya Private Investigators for a free quote.

Final Thoughts?

Be careful in every sense of the word. Protect yourself, protect your interests, and don’t be stupid. Have fun, but don’t let emotions or alcohol cloud your judgement. Enjoy yourself, but always keep your eyes open.