Published: March 8, 2025 - Reading time: 14 minutes
» Updated: June 3, 2025

Introduction: We interview Chris, a former bar manager who worked in Pattaya’s bar scene for over nine years. While we’ve changed his name for privacy reasons, Chris has seen it all during his time managing a popular bar in the heart of Pattaya city. He’s witnessed the highs, the lows, and everything in between when it comes to working in the Thai nightlife industry. In this interview, Chris shares his insights into the world of bar girls, managing a bar, and the complex dynamics at play. For obvious reasons, the name of his bar remains undisclosed.

How was it working as a bar manager in Thailand? Is that a good job?

It’s a young man’s game in my opinion. Being a bar manager or owner means drinking almost every night, and it takes a serious toll on your health. You need to be outgoing and approachable—over time, that also can become draining. It involves dealing with people and keeping them happy. I’ve seen numerous guys who retired and bought bars, only to drink themselves into an early grave. That’s why I threw in the towel—I just couldn’t handle the alcohol anymore. If you’re planning to do this long-term, be very careful. It isn’t a job I would recommend to guys with a low level of self control either.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about bar girls in Thailand?

The biggest misconception is that a bar girl can remain faithful to you while she’s still working in the bar. A lot of guys think they’ve met “the one” and that she’s different, and she might be, but the reality is, if she’s still working in the bar, she’s still leaving with customers. That’s just her job. If she wasn’t doing that, she wouldn’t be making money. Over the years, some guys asked me to 'keep tabs' on their girlfriends for them, but in the interest of the business, I just couldn't get caught up in personal drama. I'd tell the boyfriends to send their lady back up to the village if he didn't want her to see other men.

Do bar girls ever refuse customers?

It’s extremely rare for a bar girl to turn down a customer. Even if the guy is old, overweight, or unattractive, most will still go with him because money is money. If anything, they might try to charge more if the man is particularly repulsive. That being said, I have seen a couple of situations where a girl has refused. Once, a guy had such bad body odour that every girl in the bar refused to go with him. I think it’s safe to say that all women hate the smell of body odour, and Thai ladies are no exception. Another time, a girl turned down a man because she was tipped off by the other staff that he was connected to her previous customer/sponsor, and she knew she was being tested by him. He couldn't speak Thai or understand what they were saying about him... But those are exceptions—most of the time, they’ll take whoever pays.

What’s your advice for newbies to the bar scene in Thailand?

Be careful, think with your big head, and don’t get carried away. If you’re going to spend time with women, stick to reputable bars and go-go bars where they have cameras and know who’s working there. Don’t get drunk to the point where you lose control—Pattaya is full of guys who’ve had too much and ended up in hospital or worse. And never drink and drive. Taxis and motorbike taxis are very cheap, so there’s no excuse. Don’t rent a scooter either. Protect yourself in every way possible.

What advice would you give to someone thinking about buying a bar in Thailand?

Be extremely careful. It’s a minefield. Owning a bar in Thailand is complicated. There’s a ton of paperwork, you need the right connections, and getting a work permit isn’t easy. Most bars are only leasehold deals and you’re essentially paying to have your name added to a lease, along with a few stools and some fridges. On top of that, scams are everywhere. If you’re serious about it, you need to spend a long time in Thailand first, understand how things work, understand the market, and get a good lawyer. This is not something for beginners.

Why do bar girls do this job? What motivates them?

Bar girls often do this job because they have few other options. Many of them come from poor backgrounds and work in bars because it’s one of the few ways to earn good money, especially if they are good looking and desirable. Most of the bar girls I’ve met have been single mothers, and usually the father provides zero financial support. For some, it’s an opportunity to earn more money than they would doing some minimum wage job, which is barely enough to support yourself, your parents, and a kid or two.

Are all bar girls looking for a foreign husband?

I think that a lot of bar girls are aiming to find a long term partner, however, this is not always true. Some ladies see the job as normal work and have no desire to stop, especially if they are able to earn good money (100,000+ THB per month, for example). I’ve seen ladies come straight off the bus from the village and start work without speaking any English besides ’Hello how are you'—I’ve seen how they can change over time. Believe me, if you’re being lied to by a lady that has five boyfriends, then you’re not going to find out by simply asking her some tough questions and making video calls to her at the same time every night—this is literally her job. Some ladies may come with the ambition of finding a husband, but after spending time with guys that have made broken promises and used them, the ladies themselves can understandably become hardened. 

Can a bar girl be faithful if she has a boyfriend?

If she’s still working in the bar, then no—she’s still going with customers. That’s her job. If you’re serious about her, you need to take her out of the bar, clear any debts she has, fix her mom’s leaky tin roof, and make sure she has another way to make money. Take a trip up to the village and meet her parents in order to show her that you are serious, provide serious financial support. Get married. Otherwise, she will keep doing what she has to do to survive, and that means seeing other men. No matter what they tell you, bar girls don’t take relationships seriously if their 'boyfriend' allows them to continue working in a bar, how could they?

"But my girlfriend works at a bar and doesn't accept bar fines, she calls me every night as proof. She just earns money from drinks"

I'm sure that some guys reading this article will actually believe that, but unfortunately, it is bullshit. If you don't believe me, then please contact my friends at Pattaya Private Investigators. They can check for you, and if she is loyal, then you have nothing to fear. I've personally witnessed bar girls call their boyfriends from inside my condo on many occasions. They can sit on the toilet or just sit on the floor in front of a plain white wall in the condo and make a video call while I'm sitting on the bed listening to it and rolling my eyes. Once I overheard the conversation and the guy (an American) had purchased a diamond engagement ring for the lady—he totally believed that she was waiting for him to come back and marry him; he believed that she would never accept a bar fine. After all, she was making regular video calls as proof of that! Making calls or sending messages every night doesn't prove anything.

What is the most shocking thing you have seen?

That's a tough one. And it depends on what your idea of 'shocking' is. I've seen physical altercations happen which could've been avoided... Let me make a point of elaborating further. If you decide to 'take' a lady from a specific bar, then you must never return to that establishment and then try to 'bar fine' a different woman. We understand that it's their job, but doing this is likely to create feelings of jealousy, and would cause the lady to lose face. I've also seen 'shocking' situations where guys have tried to 'rescue' ladies... One guy built the lady a house to live in, it even had a nice swimming pool. As soon as it was finished, she came right back to working in the bar. Stuff like that is shocking. I've seen a lady receive millions of baht in a year only to lose it all due to a gambling addition. Lots of stuff. What shocks you?

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting older?

As bar girls age, their options in the profession become more limited, but they continue working for financial security. As they get older, the demand for younger women in the bars can make it harder for them to find customers. But many bar girls don’t have pensions or savings to rely on when they get older. Their families often depend on their income, and in many cases, they have no other skills or means to make money. Because of this, older women may stay in the profession longer than they would like.

Why are bar girls in Pattaya getting fatter?

555. This is a question or comment I’ve often heard from old boys who first visited Pattaya in the ‘80s or ‘90s. I think people all over the world are generally getting bigger, and bar girls are no exception. The fascination many bar girls (and Thai people in general) have with Western culture could also explain why tattoos are becoming more common in Pattaya too—it's just because they're becoming more popular all over the world. Personally, I’m not attracted to women who are extremely skinny, so I’m not complaining.

Are the lady drinks always alcoholic?

... If you've got a lady that weighs 43 kilos (94 lbs) drinking 30 shots a night, do you think it's all alcoholic or not? It would be physically impossible for all the lady drinks to contain alcohol. You might be on vacation, but these ladies are in the bar every night and need to pace themselves.

Can you ever take the "bar" out of the girl?

It can be difficult to take the “bar” out of a girl. Even if you get her out of the bar, the lifestyle can be hard to change. A girl who’s spent years working in that environment can find it difficult to adjust to a different way of life. If she earns lots and lots of money in the past, then is she going to settle for your financial support instead? It’s not just about the money—it’s the attention, the lifestyle, the lust, and the connections they build. Getting a bar girl to leave her job behind and live a “normal” life is challenging, and it requires a lot of support and commitment, both from you and her.

Do you regret working in Pattaya?

No, not at all. It taught me a lot about human nature, and I have a lot of good memories about my time in Pattaya. Ultimately, I have decided to move on and further my professional career back home, but I think I'll always look back fondly on this time in my life.

How can I find out if my Thai girlfriend is being faithful?

If you have doubts, you already know the answer. But if you need proof, a PI can find out for you. Contact Pattaya Private Investigators for a free quote.

Final Thoughts?

Be careful in every sense of the word. Protect yourself, protect your interests, and don’t be stupid. Have fun, but don’t let emotions or alcohol cloud your judgement. Enjoy yourself, but always keep your eyes open.

Published: October 13, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: June 13, 2025

When reading online or chatting with other foreign visitors to Thailand, you will likely hear a plethora of horror stories from men who have developed romantic entanglements with ladies working at bars. Whether they met their girlfriend in a beer bar, go-go bar, or nightclub, many foreigners choose to pursue relationships with bar girls in Thailand's adult entertainment scene.

While some foreigners successfully marry Thai bar girls and enjoy lasting relationships, countless others experience heartbreak, deception, and financial loss. In this article, we will explore 8 reasons you should reconsider dating a Thai bar girl:

1. She Will Cheat on You

If you're dating a lady that works at a beer bar, go-go bar, or similar establishment, the harsh reality is that she is likely to cheat on you. Even if she claims she doesn’t go with customers or that “no one can bar fine her,” statistics show otherwise.

Our investigations into hundreds of bar girls reveal that a significant majority continue to be unfaithful while their ‘boyfriends’ are out of the country... Indeed, many will also seek out additional ‘boyfriends’ while continuing to work in the bar.

Common tactics include sending messages all day and calling at the same time every night after she finishes work. You may feel that you know exactly what she is doing, however this is usually a clever illusion. In one case, for example, a lady told our agent that her mother was sick in hospital, and she could only be available for ‘short time’ arrangements as she might need to leave suddenly. The ‘sick mother’, as it turns out, was actually our American client that was trying to keep close tabs on her movements.

If your girlfriend works in a Thai bar, we can help monitor her behaviour while you are abroad. Feel free to contact our experienced team for a confidential consultation, or click to learn more about bar girl investigations.

2. Money is Paramount to Bar Girls

Thai women often turn to bar work in order to support their families and earn money quickly. This financial dependence can place a strain on your relationship.

If your girlfriend chooses to leave her job at the bar for a low-paying menial position elsewhere, then you will likely find yourself in a position where you must subsidise her income to prevent her from returning to the nightlife.

Without a solid education, your girlfriend may struggle to secure a well-paying job, leaving you with the responsibility of supporting her financially. While some men are fine with their Thai girlfriend working in bars, they must accept that this usually means she will continue seeing other customers. Our experience shows that promises of fidelity are rarely kept in such cases.

Also, try to consider her immediate needs... Is her family living in a tin shack that needs to be replaced? Does she have debt? Is she responsible for farming land? How many people are dependant on her financially? To truly understand her situation, it would be advisable to visit her hometown or village and speak to her immediate family members. In some cases, we can also do this for you.

3. Bar Girls Often Lack Education

The majority of women working in touristy bars in Thailand—such as those in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket—are not locals but rather come from rural areas, particularly the Isaan region. Many bar girls lack formal education, and their English skills may be limited, learned mainly through interactions with foreign patrons.

Engaging in conversations about world events or history may reveal significant gaps in their knowledge. If you are dating a bar girl, consider how this may impact your relationship.

If your Thai girlfriend's English speaking abilities are not great, then you could help to enrol her in a local language school or study online.

4. Family Comes First

In Thailand, family is of utmost importance, and your Thai girlfriend will likely prioritise her family's needs above yours. If you marry a Thai girl, you may also find yourself responsible for supporting her family financially. That means, if her buffalo is sick, or if her mother's washing machine breaks, or if her child needs to pay school tuition, or if her dad needs money to fertilise his rice fields, or her uncle is sick in hospital - then she will do whatever she can to help, and as her partner that responsibility will fall partly onto you.

Thai women are often 'package deals'; investing in a relationship with a bar girl means you are also investing in her dependent family members. They might be reasonable people, they might even have money themselves- or they might be poor and see you as a 'cash cow'. It would be a wise endeavour to meet with her family early on and see how amiable they are towards you.

5. Bar Girls May Enjoy Their Work

While some may view bar work as undesirable, many bar girls genuinely enjoy their jobs. The nightlife can be seen as a fun escape from the mundanity of previous factory jobs, allowing them to socialise and earn money from customers.

This lifestyle can lead to difficulties if your girlfriend tries to transition back to a conventional job. Does she want to be scrubbing floors or stacking shelves for 10 hours a day? Those who enjoy working in bars may resist changing their ways, potentially impacting your relationship.

6. There May Be Other Men in Her Life

Bar girls interact with numerous customers daily, which increases the likelihood of forming emotional connections. Many will exchange numbers and maintain contact with clients long after their time in Thailand.

Even if she isn't 'bar fined' frequently, the risk of infidelity exists. If you pursue a romantic relationship with a bar girl, be aware of the complexities that may arise... You might find that messages from strange men are popping up on her phone for months or years into the future. The question is whether she will be honest with you or choose to secretly communicate with former clients.

7. Visa Challenges for Bar Girls

If you envision a long-term relationship with a Thai bar girl, you may consider bringing her to your home country. However, securing a visa for a bar girl can be challenging due to their profession. Immigration officials often scrutinise applications from individuals in the sex industry.

Moreover, bar girls are usually paid in cash, which complicates their ability to provide necessary documentation such as bank statements. Limited education and unstable income make it even more challenging to navigate the visa application process and secure a long term future with your partner.

8. Health Risks

Dating someone with multiple sexual partners increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Many infections can be asymptomatic, making regular testing essential for both you and your partner. Clinics are readily available in Pattaya for such health services.

Related Articles

• Guide to Thai Bar Girls: What Tourists Need to Know
• Are Thai Girlfriends Expensive?
• 11 Signs Your Thai Girlfriend Is Using You for Money
• 15 Lies That Thai Bar Girls Tell Foreigners

Published: September 30, 2021 - Reading time: 9 minutes
» Updated: June 13, 2025

Although we call them “girls”, Thai bar girls are adult women. A more accurate term might be “Thai bar ladies”.

They differ from Western bar staff: Thai bar girls often engage in paid companionship or prostitution.

What is a Thai bar girl?

A Thai bar girl works in bars across Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, and other nightlife hotspots—chatting with customers and encouraging them to buy special “lady drinks”.

Customers can pay a “bar fine” allowing the bar girl to leave the venue with them, for an additional fee paid directly to her.

Why do Thai women work in bars?

Daughters in Thai culture are often expected to support ageing parents. With low wages and limited job prospects, many women rely on bar work or hope to meet a foreign boyfriend who’ll provide financial support for them and their families.

Where do Thai bar girls work?

• Beer bars: Casual venues with affordable drinks.
• Go-go bars: Higher-priced venues with stage dancers.
• Gentleman’s clubs: Discreet, air-conditioned lounges.
• Ladyboy bars: Featuring ladyboys for entertainment.
• Nightclubs/discos: Freelancers seeking customers.
• Freelancer friendly bars: Some bars and nightclubs encourage 'freelance' ladies to visit.

Common Bar Girl Phrases

• Butterfly: Customer who flits between girls.
• Bar fine: Fee paid to take a girl out.
• No money no honey: Means that attention is depend on payment.
• Lady drink: Premium drink bought for her.
• Cheque bin: Container holding drink receipts.
• Mamasan: Bar girl manager.
• Can't eat love: Bar girls cannot eat your love; support requires financial help.

How do Thai bar girls earn money?

• Salary: Paid weekly or monthly. Full salary might be conditional on hitting minimum targets for lady drinks and/or bar fines. Failing to meet those targets can result in salary deductions.
• Tips: Direct payments from customers.
• Lady drink commissions: Paid per lady drink ordered (typically 30 to 80 THB depending on the venue and its location).
• Bar fines: When a customer pays to take her out.
• Short-time/long-time fees: Direct payment for company.
• Sponsorship: Financial support from foreign partners or boyfriends.

Thai bar girl scams & dating a Thai bar girl

Many guys assume that once they enter into a relationship with a Thai bar girl, she will stop seeing other customers. In reality, that’s rarely the case. Most continue working behind the scenes — even while accepting money from a boyfriend or sponsor who believes he’s the only one.

This isn’t just an opinion. It’s based on over a decade of real-world experience investigating hundreds of Thai bar girls. Time and time again, we’ve seen the same pattern play out: the relationship appears exclusive, but the reality is anything but. 

Typically, bar girls will message their “boyfriend” throughout the day and call him every night after work. To most men, this feels like clear proof of loyalty. But in reality, it often means nothing. Many girls only accept short-time customers, which leaves plenty of time to keep up appearances.

By carefully planning their downtime and using excuses like “I’m tired, going to bed early,” it becomes easy to create a false sense of security. The boyfriend thinks everything is fine — that she’s loyal, committed, and just waiting for his return. But we’ve seen behind the curtain.

After investigating hundreds of cases, we can say with confidence: this happens far more often than you think. And if you’re reading this and thinking, “that could never happen to me” — you’re exactly the kind of guy it happens to.

Making a Thai Bar Girl Your Girlfriend

You can have a genuine relationship with a bar girl—but only if she fully leaves the bar scene. Our investigations consistently find that even those claiming to quit often continue working in secret.

Have open conversations: Does she owe debt? Does she support her family? Many women return to nightlife due to financial pressure.

If you suspect dishonesty, use our decoy (honeytrap) investigation service. There's also a real health risk if she’s being sexually active with other men without your knowledge.

Are Thai Bar Girls Tested for STDs?

Prostitution is illegal in Thailand under the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act (1996). Because of this, there is no legal requirement for bar owners to test workers for HIV or STDs.

Some venues may offer voluntary testing, but it’s not standard. UNAIDS warns that criminalisation of sex work pushes the industry underground, increasing the risks of unprotected and unregulated sexual activity.

If you're in a relationship with a woman from the nightlife scene, regular testing—for both of you—is strongly advised.

Related articles

• Thai Bar Girl as Your Girlfriend: Can It Work?
• Another Thai Wife Horror Story
• 8 Reasons NOT to Date or Marry a Thai Bar Girl
• Are Thai Girlfriends Expensive?

Published: September 14, 2021 - Reading time: 10 minutes
» Updated: June 13, 2025

Thai bar girls know precisely what to say to present themselves as appealing to customers and to portray themselves in the best possible light. This article explores some of the most prevalent lies told by Thai bar girls to foreigners.

1. “It’s my first week in the bar”

This is one of the most common fabrications that bar girls in Thailand tell foreigners. Whether she claims it’s her first day, week, or month working in the bar, you can bet that these statements are often untrue.

A clear indication of this lie is if the lady speaks decent English but has never attended university; she has likely honed her language skills through her time working in the bar, far exceeding just one week!

2. Lying about their age

Many Thai women possess an extraordinary ability to appear much younger than their actual age, and professionally applied makeup can significantly enhance this effect.

Thai bar girls are acutely aware that most men favour younger women, and it’s not unusual for them to claim they are 10 or 15 years younger to boost their appeal to customers.

3. Lying about having children

Most ladies work in bars to support their families. Child support is relatively uncommon in Thailand, so many women resort to working in red-light areas to provide for their loved ones.

Having children is often perceived as a disadvantage in attracting customers. As a result, bar girls frequently lie about not having children or claim to have only one when they actually have two or three. By the time the man discovers the truth, he may be so enamoured and committed that it no longer matters.

4. Lying about their name

Bar girls rarely use their real names. Instead, they might tell you their name is “Pin”, “Apple”, or “Pea”, but disclosing their actual name is quite rare.

The use of nicknames is commonplace in Thailand for various reasons. Bar girls understand that most foreigners struggle to pronounce their real names and prefer to choose names that are easier for non-Thai speakers to grasp.

5. “I have never gone with a customer before”

A bar girl’s job is to leave the bar with customers as often as possible; that’s how they earn their money. If a lady claims she has never left the bar with a customer, don’t believe her. She may be setting you up for a long-distance relationship (a bar girl scam), suggesting that she is “different” or “not like the other girls” to increase her appeal by claiming she is not “high mileage”. This is a common lie among bar girls.

6. “I don’t have a boyfriend!”

Many bar girls indeed have boyfriends—whether it’s a local Thai man who accepts their profession or a foreigner who met her while she was working in the bar.

Bar girls will never admit to having a boyfriend. For many, the goal is to establish multiple foreign relationships, with each man believing he is the only one in her life. This can be quite lucrative for some bar girls.

7. She doesn’t like dating Thai men

Most bar girls will claim they don’t find Thai men attractive, stating they are poorly treated by them. This lie often aims to deflect suspicion of having a local boyfriend or husband, making the bar girl seem more appealing to customers.

8. She feels sick after leaving the bar

After you have paid a bar fine and left with the lady, she might suddenly claim to feel unwell, perhaps developing a headache or an upset stomach.

The motivation behind this lie is straightforward: the lady may prefer a quiet evening watching television or resting rather than engaging in the activities you might have anticipated.

9. “I don’t like young guys; I only like old men”

This lie is typically only expressed if you are of a more advanced age. Some bar girls claim they are only attracted to older men, presumably to make you feel comfortable and understand why they are particularly keen on you.

While some bar girls may genuinely prefer older customers, it’s not for the reasons they might suggest. Younger men can be more demanding and frugal, while older men often have more cash and are more likely to tip.

10. “I want to go to massage school”

If you’re spending time with a bar girl, she may express a desire to attend massage school or open a salon. These are subtle hints that, if you enter a serious relationship, she is willing to leave bar work behind for a legitimate job.

Some ladies will pursue massage training, open a salon, or establish a small business in their village if given the opportunity; however, others may take the money and continue working in bars. Typically, you won’t discover her true intentions until you’ve begun financing her new venture and parted with your cash.

11. She does not answer your calls

When attempting to contact a Thai bar girl, you may find that she doesn’t answer your calls. The phone goes to voicemail repeatedly, and your messages remain unread. After a few hours, she may call back, claiming “Sorry, my phone didn’t have any battery” or a similar excuse.

In reality, she was likely spending time with another customer or her boyfriend. You may have suspicions, but disproving her claims can be quite difficult.

12. “I was late because of bad traffic”

If a lady is with one client and the session takes longer than expected, a common excuse is to claim she was delayed due to bad traffic. This is a classic and easy excuse to use when arriving late for a meeting.

Bear in mind that a ‘short time’ session might last only 30 minutes or less. If a lady is late for this amount of time, it might be because she has just serviced another client before reaching you. Using traffic as an excuse is an easy way to explain this scenario.

13. “He is only a friend”

If you peruse a bar girl’s social media profile or her phone’s camera roll, you’re likely to encounter photos of her with other customers.

Of course, she will insist that “he is only a friend.” Another common lie is to claim the man she was with is gay. The motivation for this deception is straightforward; she wants to appear single, perhaps hoping you will seek to fill that void and develop a romantic relationship.

14. “You are a handsome man”

No matter your appearance—you could be 85 years old and 100 kilograms overweight—a bar girl will still label you as a “handsome man”. She is simply trying to stroke your ego in hopes you will take a liking to her.

The “handsome man” phrase has become a running joke among visitors and expats in Pattaya, where every man is deemed handsome as he wanders the streets of Thailand.

15. “You have a good heart; I like you”

This line is another tactic to flatter clients; many bar girls will express sentiments like “You have a good heart, I like you; you are not like other guys.” Such compliments can help bar girls forge a ‘connection’ with their clients, making them believe the lady has deep feelings for them.

In most cases, the bar girl hopes her client will choose to spend more time with her rather than with other women, or she might be setting the stage for a long-term relationship. Both outcomes will typically yield her more money than a simple one-night encounter.

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• Finding Love in a Pattaya Bar: John's Bar Girl Story
• 8 reasons NOT to date or marry a Thai bar girl
• What is the sick buffalo story in Thailand?
• Top scams to avoid in Pattaya Thailand
• Thai girlfriend scams in Pattaya
• How to tell if a Thai girl is good