The Pattaya Go-Go Bar Investigation: A Cautionary Tale

Published: October 8, 2024 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 19, 2024

I was recently contacted by a man, whom we'll call Tom, who had just returned from a two-week holiday in Pattaya, Thailand. During his trip, he met 'Nina', a striking woman working in a go-go bar. They clicked right away and spent nearly every day together. Nina confessed she had fallen in love with him, and Tom, swept up in the excitement of the holiday, believed her.

Nina reassured Tom that she “would not leave the bar with any other customer” and promised to stay faithful even after he returned home. She claimed she was deeply in love and swore she wouldn’t see anyone else. To back this up, Nina called Tom every night at the same time, saying she had just finished work and was back in her room. This routine continued for weeks after Tom returned home, and, at first, it gave him some peace of mind.

However, as time went on, Tom began to feel uneasy. The perfectly timed calls and Nina’s insistence on her loyalty started to raise doubts. Sensing something was off, Tom contacted me, a private investigator, to find out what was really going on.

Thai lady working in a go go bar

The Investigation

My first step was to visit the go-go bar where Nina worked. When I arrived, the mamasan (the bar’s manager) informed me that Nina wasn’t available, as she had already been “bar fined” for the evening. This meant she had left with a customer, despite what she had promised Tom. We continued with surveillance the next night and noticed a peculiar pattern.

The following evening, Nina arrived early, paid the bar fine herself, and left shortly after. She was closely followed, and it became clear she wasn’t returning to her room after work. Instead, she headed to an upscale hotel, where she spent the night with another man. This routine repeated itself over the next few days. Each evening, she would briefly check into the bar, make a quick call to Tom, and then leave to meet a different customer.

A Web of Lies

It became evident that Nina was juggling several relationships, all while convincing Tom she was committed to him alone. It’s likely she had multiple “boyfriends,” each believing they were the only one. She stayed in touch with them through messaging apps, sending regular updates and photos to maintain the illusion of exclusivity.

Nina had no intention of quitting her job or stopping her interactions with other guys. She was well-known among tourists and expats and clearly had no plans to change her lifestyle.

The Reality of Pattaya's Nightlife

Tom’s situation is, unfortunately, not unique. Many men visit Thailand, fall for a bar girl, and believe they’ve found something special. While some women working in these bars may fall in love, the reality is often more complex. Their work revolves around money, and unless they’re offered substantial financial support, they’re unlikely to stop seeing other customers.

In Nina’s case, she had no reason to leave her job. She earned good money from both her clients and men like Tom, who sent her money from abroad, thinking they were helping her out of love. Sadly, many women in this line of work juggle multiple relationships, leading each man to believe he’s the only one.

Financial Support: Is It Enough?

Some men think that offering financial support will encourage a woman to leave the nightlife and live a more conventional life. While this might happen in certain cases, it’s far from guaranteed. Many women accept the money and still continue their work, enjoying the income from various sources.

If you’re considering financially supporting someone in Pattaya’s nightlife, approach with caution. While it might seem like a way to help her leave the industry, there’s no guarantee she will remain loyal. Financial support alone may not change her lifestyle, especially if she’s used to the attention and money from multiple men.

Protect Yourself from Scams

Bar girl investigations

Before making any financial commitments, it’s crucial to do your homework. Private investigators like us can help you uncover the truth about her background, past relationships, and current activities. Our background checks and decoy service checks can reveal whether she’s genuinely devoted to you or if she’s involved with others.

We’ve handled many cases where women promised to leave the nightlife, only to continue seeing customers while collecting money from boyfriends abroad. With our help, you can avoid being taken advantage of and ensure your relationship is based on honesty.

If you’re unsure about your relationship or want more information about our services, we offer free quotes for all investigative work. Simply submit a support ticket through our website, and we’ll get back to you promptly.

In Closing

While some women who work in Pattaya’s bars may genuinely fall in love with their customers, many continue seeing others to support themselves and their families. It’s a complex world, and without significant financial backing, most women won’t have much reason to change their lifestyle.

Don’t leave your future to chance. Get the facts, and protect yourself from potential scams. We’re here to help you uncover the truth.

Related articles


Spotting a Good Thai Girl: 10 Essential Tips for Foreigners

Published: December 8, 2021 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: June 3, 2025

We’ve all heard stories of Western men falling victim to romance scams involving Thai ladies. These stories often revolve around women who scam their boyfriends for money or maintain relationships with several men at the same time. If you met your girlfriend in a place like Pattaya, or through internet dating, the chances of falling victim to a romance scam are significantly higher.

However, not all Thai women are out to scam foreign boyfriends. Many are sincere and seek genuine relationships with foreigners.

So, how can you tell a ‘good’ Thai girl from a ‘bad’ one? The truth is that it’s not always easy. However, there are some subtle clues that may help you discern your Thai girlfriend’s intentions. Below is a list of tips to guide you.

1. She does not sleep with you on the first date

Foreigners who frequent Thailand’s nightlife areas often develop a skewed perception of Thai women. Don’t let your view of Thai culture be defined by ladies working in red-light districts.

Thai woman in bed with her boyfriend

Thai culture is traditionally reserved, and a ‘good’ Thai girl is not likely to sleep with you on the first date or before getting to know you. If a Thai woman sleeps with you after your first meeting, it might be a sign that she’s not a traditional ‘good’ Thai girl.

2. She does not smoke cigarettes

Smoking is somewhat taboo for women in Thai culture. Most Thai women who smoke are likely working in red-light areas.

If your Thai girlfriend smokes, it could indicate she’s not a ‘good’ girl and may have a background in Thailand’s nightlife scene.

3. She wants you to get married

In Thailand, relationships aren’t typically considered legitimate until a couple is married. A ‘good’ Thai girl will usually want to formalise the relationship through marriage once things get serious.

Thai woman wearing a wedding dress

However, be cautious. The groom is traditionally expected to provide a dowry (‘sin sod’) to the bride’s family, which can range from 300,000 THB to several million baht. Some women have been known to exploit this, ending the relationship soon after receiving the dowry, which is generally non-refundable.

4. She does not have tattoos

Although changing due to Western influence, tattoos on Thai women are often associated with those who have worked in the adult entertainment industry.

We’re not suggesting all women with tattoos are ‘bad’, but this is a factor worth considering when assessing your Thai girlfriend.

5. She does not ask for money

If your girlfriend frequently asks for money or expensive gifts, it’s a sign she may be more interested in your wallet than your relationship.

Some scammers are patient and won’t ask for money until they’ve built trust, often waiting for a ‘crisis’ to ask for financial help. Be cautious of the long game.

6. She does not wear revealing clothes

Thai culture is traditionally modest. Outside of nightlife areas, you’ll rarely see women wearing revealing clothing.

Thai bar girl

If your girlfriend is comfortable wearing provocative clothing in public, it might suggest she’s not a traditional ‘good’ Thai girl.

7. She makes long-term plans with you

Does your girlfriend only talk about where to eat or shop, or does she make long-term plans for your relationship? If she’s serious about you, she’ll discuss your future together, which is a positive sign.

8. She doesn’t hang out with ‘working girls’

You can tell a lot about someone by the company they keep. If your girlfriend's circle includes bar girls or dancers, you should question how she knows them. If she has respectable friends with professional careers, it’s a sign she might be a ‘good Thai girl’.

Thai women sitting inside a bar

9. She drinks in moderation

Moderate drinking is acceptable in Thai culture, but heavy drinking isn’t. If your girlfriend gets drunk regularly, this should raise concerns. Drinking in moderation, however, can reflect good character.

10. She has a career

In Thailand, the minimum wage is very low, making it hard to survive without a proper career or education. A ‘good’ Thai girl usually has a career path or educational goals in place before seeking a relationship with a foreign boyfriend.

A word of caution

Never underestimate the cleverness of romance scammers. If your Thai girlfriend is trying to take advantage of you, she may know how to do so without raising suspicions. Scammers often treat it as a job, honing their skills over multiple relationships.

Spotting a scammer isn’t easy. Many of our clients didn’t suspect they were being deceived until we presented them with concrete evidence.

Check your Thai girlfriend

If you have concerns that your Thai girlfriend might be cheating or taking advantage of you, we can help. Our private investigators cover all areas of Thailand and can discreetly check on your girlfriend’s activities while you’re away. We can also perform a premarital background check to verify key details about the lady and her history. 

Related articles


Thai girlfriend background checks

Published: May 2, 2020 - Reading time: 7 minutes
» Updated: October 19, 2024

As a leading detective agency based in Thailand, we regularly run Thai girlfriend background checks for our clients. We offer basic and enhanced background checks depending on the needs and requirements of our clients. Thai girlfriend background checks typically include:

  • Check marital status and marital history
  • Name of any previous husbands and divorces information (where applicable)
  • Property residence checks (check for children or boyfriends living at the subject’s property)
  • Education/employment checks
  • Social media checks
  • Dating/adult website checks 
  • Criminal record check/check for arrest warrants

Note: We will NOT hack your partner’s phone or social media accounts as this is against the law, please don’t ask. All background checks are completed by us with 100% confidentiality and discretion. The subject will never find out that they have been subject to a background check. We offer free quotes for all work. Please feel free to get in touch with one of our experienced team members for more information on our background checks service.

Background check alternatives

Background investigations are useful to check if a Thai girl is married, check her marital history, living circumstances, work history, etcetera. However, running a background check on your Thai girlfriend is not always the best form of investigation, depending on your circumstances and the type of information that you are looking to uncover.

If your girlfriend is working at a bar then you might find our decoy service to be more appropriate – as part of our decoy service we can find out if your girlfriend is leaving the bar with customers and whether she tells customers that she has a boyfriend, for example. Decoys can also be used at massage parlors, go-go bars, and many other service industry type occupations.

If you suspect that your Thai girlfriend might be actively involved in another relationship that she is concealing from you then we can investigate through personal surveillance instead, which involves checking the subject’s whereabouts and collecting hard evidence in the form of images/video to show her activity.

Are Thai girlfriends faithful?

We think it’s fair to say that the majority of Thai women are faithful to their partners and do not tend to commit acts of infidelity… However, it’s important to realize that the majority of women in Thailand also cannot speak English fluently and do not form romantic relationships with foreign men. Thai ladies that seek relationships with foreigners are effectively a small subset of the population. There is undoubtably another subset of women in Thailand that are responsible for proliferating romance scams, where their sole aim of a relationship is to extract money from their partners. Traditionally women that are responsible for romance scams tend to have occupations in the nightlife scene, such as bar girls, go-go dancers and ladies working in massage parlors. However, over the past several years we have seen a steep increase in more refined Thai women that seek to manipulate their partners by having multiple foreign boyfriends at the same time. We have seen, for example, many Thai women that were attending universities meet their boyfriends through dating apps or websites. As these women are perceived to be more respectable than ‘working girls’, they often find it easier to form serious romantic relationships with foreigners; who in turn have a false sense of security that their girlfriend really is ‘different’. University students and Thai women that are working “normal jobs” have the potential to work this scam much easier than women you might find in the nightlife industry. All ladies are different and it’s very difficult to predict whether or not your partner is likely to be faithful based on advice or information found online. If you have read the horror stories and are having suspicions about your Thai girlfriend, we can investigate her and uncover the truth in your case.

Why do Thai women cheat on their partners?

If we’re discussing relationships between Thai ladies and foreigners, then we think it’s fair to say that the main motivation for infidelity in these relationships tends to be money. It is not secret that some unscrupulous Thai ladies make a living out of being in relationships with foreigners… The goal for many of these women is to have several boyfriends at the same time – some men might send the lady an allowance every month while others only help out if the lady is having financial problems. Women that have been exposed to the nightlife scene for prolonged periods tend to develop a strange morality where they no longer feel guilt for cheating on their partners. We have seen many ladies that appear to enjoy working as escorts and spending time with new men. If your girlfriend is living in a city such as Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket, then it’s easy for her to try and hookup with men at bars and nightclubs which encourage freelancers to drink there. We have seen many women that work respectable jobs in the daytime head out in the evenings to such places. For many ladies this is a lifestyle that they really seem to enjoy.

Check your Thai girlfriend

We recognize that taking the decision to check your Thai girlfriend can be difficult. Our goal is to help provide you with peace of mind and the confidence to proceed with significant life decisions. If we are not able to give you peace of mind then we will have the unfortunate task of delivering the truth in your situation and evidence of infidelity. It often makes sense to perform these checks before you begin the costly process of applying for a spousal visa for your partner or as pre-marital checks before committing yourself into a serious relationship. Our goal is always to analyze our client’s situation and offer the best and most cost-effective solution in each case.

Accepting the results

For many of our clients taking the step to hire us proved to be a very wise decision which allowed them to save vast sums of money and heartache in the long run. It’s important to prepare for the results of your investigation, to consider all potential outcomes and how you might react to them. Whilst we always try to offer our clients the support and advice, for some people the truth can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if the investigation leads us to taking photos/videos of their partner with other men. Thailand, Thai women, and Thai culture are all very different to the Western world. Due to the prevalence of romance scams it usually makes sense to run a Thai girlfriend background check when you’re getting to know a Thai woman, no matter how you met each other or the stage of your relationship. Please feel free to contact us and see what we can do to help in your case.


Pattaya private investigators

Thank you for reading the PattayaPI blog.
Pattaya private investigators
Learn more about Pattaya Private Investigators on our homepage.