Many foreigners will tell you not to become involved with Thai bar girls. Don’t get in a relationship with them, and do not marry them. The reason they give this advice is because many bar girls in Pattaya are scammers, drug addicts, or liars. They are trying to receive money from multiple foreign boyfriends in order to support themselves.
Here is something they won’t tell you. A lot of foreign men have married bar girls from Pattaya throughout the years… They have got married, had kids, and lead normal lives together. Many men will deny that their wife is an ex bar girl because of the stigma attached to it.
A lot of Thai ladies start working in bars in order to meet a foreign husband. Think about that for a moment. If you were a Thai lady and wanted to start a relationship with a white guy, where would you go? Sure, they could try online dating. But is their English good enough to be writing for hours on dating sites? Many Thai ladies pay English translators so they can use dating websites. Working in a bar provides poorly educated Thai ladies with a way of learning English (mostly ‘bar English’), as well as speed dating with foreigners every single night.
Some bar girls will stop working in their bar, and be totally loyal to you given the opportunity. They can be good girlfriends and good wives. However, if you have found yourself a lady that’s just interested in your wallet, you have got a big problem on your hands. Ladies that are professional scammers are also professional liars, they are highly skilled in deception and will never confess their true intentions.
If you have suspicions about your girlfriend or wife, get in contact with us immediately. We will be able to offer you free advice and either confirm your suspicious, or hopefully dispel them!
Ladyboys and Thailand are like bread and butter. Most people in the west know there is a lot of ladyboys in Thailand, even if that is all they know about Thailand. The reason there are so many ladyboys is basically due to Thai culture and religion. Buddhism teaches tolerance and acceptance of all sexualities, and this includes ladyboys, which are called 'kathoeys' in the Thai language. Unlike a fundamentalist Christian family, Buddhists are taught to accept gays, lesbians and trans people. However, don't let this mislead you into thinking that ladyboys have an easy ride in Thailand, this is far from the case. Inevitably not everyone in Thailand is a fan of 'kathoeys'.
Elderly fathers of ladyboys, for example, may well disapprove of their son's trans status. Not all Thai people practice Buddha's messages of love and tolerance; please don't be under any illusions about this. It is not uncommon for ladyboys in Thailand to experience some form of prejudice. It may be bullying as a young child, or people making hurtful comments at them or behind their backs. This is coupled with the mental strains of changing ones gender identity, which can be hard enough unto itself. Ladyboys have more to deal with than regular Thai ladies, we can say that without any doubt. Mental health issues are not uncommon for transexual people around the world and this is not foregone in Thailand. Let us not be under any illusion - lady boys in Pattaya have a fearsome reputation.
Foreign men interested in ladyboys are not as plentiful and so ladyboys on 'the game' have a less regular income than their female counterparts. For this reason ladyboys are more greatly associated with crime, from simple street robbery, pick pocketing, drugging their clients, all the way to murder. Ladyboys also have a reputation of being more promiscuous. Recently there have been several cases of foreign men taking ladyboys back to their hotel room and later falling to death from their balconies. This phenomenon is unexplained; the ladyboy will claim their customer committed suicide, and the dead man can’t recount his side of events to police. Other foreigners have described this as “ladyboy flying lessons”. As a rule of thumb, if you are becoming involved with nefarious ladies pf the night or ladyboys, lock your valuables away, and leave luxury goods at home.
Of course, many ladyboys are not associated with any sort of crime and do try to earn an honest living. However because of this criminal element, I would urge any man visiting Thailand that is interested in ladyboys to err on the side of caution. This could be as simple as carrying less money in your wallet, keeping a close eye on your drink, to taking a bottle opener with you to bars and renting a room without a balcony. PattayaPI is one of the few companies that will investigate ladyboys and gay men in Thailand. As a Thai business we happily welcome people from all walks of life and are not at all judgmental. We handle every case with total confidentiality and discretion- only our managing director will ever know the details of your case, this is not passed on to investigation or surveillance teams. If you think you're being taken advantage of by a ladyboy, please contact us today for advice on your situation, we are genuinely happy to help any foreigner that reaches out to us.
The short answer to this question is of course “money”. I believe that Thai culture itself is in part to blame for the flourishing trade in prostitution in Thailand; Thai women don’t enjoy selling themselves more than any other race of women. Let’s take a look at my theory.
A lot of foreigners come to Thailand and gain a false impression of Thai ladies. I have often spoken to foreigners that think Thai ladies are promiscuous, or easy. Outside of the beer bars, go-go clubs and red light districts, this could not be further from the truth. Allow me to elaborate…
Thai culture is very reserved. Children are taught not to ask questions, not to do things which will cause the family to lose face. This is carried through into relationships. It is generally not accepted for an unmarried Thai couple to live together. Until they have legitimized the relationship through marriage it is definitely not acceptable for a Thai couple to have sex.
Most people, be they Asian, white, black or green, have relationships through their adolescence. And when you’re 18 or 19, you’re convinced that you love this person, and that they’re the one. Back in Western countries, these romances would play out typically and fizzle away over time, without the pressure of marriage; and the financial burden that carries.
In Thailand it is not really possible for two young people to have a meaningful relationship without marriage. How well can you really know someone without living together? The pressures of keeping face mean there is no choice but to get married or break off their romance.
Now we have a young Thai couple, head over heels in love, that have got married. After the dowry is paid and shown off to the neighborhood, after the expensive ceremony, they can move in together and make a life. Usually the groom’s family will have paid a significant amount of money for the dowry (or sin sod), as well as for the ceremony itself. There will be pressure on both the bride and the groom to continue this relationship. If the relationship ends quickly they will both lose face, and perish the thought of that happening.
I believe that in a lot of cases it is only after the couple have lived together for a period of time that they realize it isn’t working. Until they are married they aren’t granted this opportunity and quickly the happy young couples tend to find themselves expecting children.
Very often these young romances break off. By this stage the couple may have been married for a handful of years. The children from the marriage traditionally go to the ladies’ grandparents, if they weren’t there already, for them to be looked after while the couple works.
Child support payments and alimony are uncommon in Thailand. Many times the wife (or ex-wife) will refuse money as child support, for the sake of not wanting to lose face or appear dependent on her ex-husband.
I believe that the reserved, traditional Thai culture creates an environment that is a conveyer belt for single mothers with no financial support. It leaves women with children that they need to support, as well as supporting their parents and themselves. As I have previously written, it is hard to support an entire family of people on the Thai minimum wage of 300 baht per day. With no education and no real prospects, many women in Thailand turn to prostitution to fill this void.
Not all Thai people’s lives play out like this, all situations are different, and many relationships are not conventional. Next time you’re in Thailand, ask the ladies you meet if they have children. Some will lie depending on what they want from you. If you start to become involved with a Thai lady, ask her, how many mouths is she feeding? This will give you an idea about her financial state.
A lot of talk happens online in the expat community surrounding bar girls, go-go dancers, and other so called ladies of the night. Many people recommend avoiding Thai bar girls for any type of serious long term relationship. On the other hand thousands of tourists visit Thailand, become involved with bar girls, and end up getting married, having children, and leading happy lives together... To understand this issue, you really need to look into the cause of prostitution in Thailand. Why is she working in the bar? Often times ladies in Thailand are pushed into bar work by economic pressure. The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht per day, that's around $8 US dollars for 8 hours work.... $1 per hour.
It is possible to live in Thailand, and survive on the Thai minimum wage, but it is not easy. Traditionally in Thai culture, the son of the family will support his mother and father until he has his own family. When he has his own wife and children, then his priorities shift and he's no longer expected to provide for mom and dad. With a Thai daughter, she will usually carry the burden of supporting her family forever. This means she is not only feeding herself, but her mother and father. Most bar girls in Thailand have children and they usually deny it. "You have children?" "No, no!". They get used to saying that, because they don't believe having children is an attractive trait to potential customers or boyfriends.
Once a Thai lady has a child, she will find it very difficult to be in a meaningful relationship with a Thai man. Thai men typically are not interested in marrying women with kids. It may be cheaper to live in Thailand, but the cost of putting a child (or multiple kids) through school, the cost of feeding your mother and father, running their house in Isaan, and feeding yourself, adds up. For a lot of these women, with very minimum educations, bar work can be seen as a viable choice to solve their money troubles.
Generally speaking there are two types of bar girl. You have one lady that will stop working in the bar if given the opportunity. You take the financial burden from her and send her money (she will describe this as "taking care" of her), she stops working in the bar and maintains your relationship. A lot of women start working in bars so they can find a foreign husband, and they are sincere. You then have the other type of bar girl. She is not seriously interested in you, but she will never say that. She will seem very keen on you and make you think you're the love of her life! But you're not. Through her eyes you are just an ATM machine. Her goal is to have multiple boyfriends sending her money, while continuing to make money every night in the bar. There will be no $8 per day wage for this lady, she can make thousands per month, especially if she's young and good looking.
At PattayaPI, we understand these issues, and we believe you have a choice. If you have picked a bad bar girl, you have picked a professional liar. This type of woman gets paid to lie, and they're good, they're very good. She will never ever admit that she's seeing other guys, or has multiple boyfriends. How can you find the truth? Before you let this relationship run on for years, and send this lady thousands of dollars, let us help you discover her motives. In the long run paying a private investigator will save you a lot of money and heartache. On the other hand our customers love the peace of mind they get from knowing their girlfriend is loyal to them.
If she's lying to you, we will find out. If she's not, you can go forward knowing you've picked a trustworthy partner, and she will never know she has been investigated. Send us a message now for a free quote.