Many foreigners will tell you not to become involved with Thai bar girls. Don’t get in a relationship with them, and do not marry them. The reason they give this advice is because many bar girls in Pattaya are scammers, drug addicts, or liars. They are trying to receive money from multiple foreign boyfriends in order to support themselves.
Here is something they won’t tell you. A lot of foreign men have married bar girls from Pattaya throughout the years… They have got married, had kids, and lead normal lives together. Many men will deny that their wife is an ex bar girl because of the stigma attached to it.
A lot of Thai ladies start working in bars in order to meet a foreign husband. Think about that for a moment. If you were a Thai lady and wanted to start a relationship with a white guy, where would you go? Sure, they could try online dating. But is their English good enough to be writing for hours on dating sites? Many Thai ladies pay English translators so they can use dating websites. Working in a bar provides poorly educated Thai ladies with a way of learning English (mostly ‘bar English’), as well as speed dating with foreigners every single night.
Some bar girls will stop working in their bar, and be totally loyal to you given the opportunity. They can be good girlfriends and good wives. However, if you have found yourself a lady that’s just interested in your wallet, you have got a big problem on your hands. Ladies that are professional scammers are also professional liars, they are highly skilled in deception and will never confess their true intentions.
If you have suspicions about your girlfriend or wife, get in contact with us immediately. We will be able to offer you free advice and either confirm your suspicious, or hopefully dispel them!
The short answer to this question is of course “money”. It has been said that Thai culture itself is in part to blame for the flourishing trade of prostitution inside Thailand; Thai women do not enjoy selling themselves more than any other race of women. Let’s take a look at one theory.
A lot of foreigners come to Thailand and gain a false impression of Thai ladies. I have often spoken to foreigners that think Thai ladies are promiscuous, or "easy". Outside of the beer bars, outside the go-go clubs and red light districts, this could not be further from the truth.
Thai culture is very reserved. Children are taught not to ask questions and not to do things which will cause their family to lose face. This is carried through into relationships. It is generally not accepted for an unmarried Thai couple to live together. Until they have legitimized the relationship through marriage it is definitely not acceptable for a Thai couple to have sex. Many foreign people visiting Thailand have no idea that this is the case, as tourists tend to hang around the red light districts, which gives them a somewhat false perception of the country.
Most people, be they Asian, white, black or green, have relationships through their adolescence. And when you’re 18 or 19, you’re convinced that you love this person, and that they’re the one. Back in Western countries these young romances would play out and fizzle away over time, in Thailand this is often not the case.
In Thailand it is not usually possible for two young people to have a meaningful relationship without marriage. How well can you really get to know someone without living together? The pressures of keeping face mean there is no choice but to get married or break off their romance.
Now we have a young Thai couple, head over heels in love, that have got married to each other. After the dowry is paid and shown off to the neighborhood, after the expensive ceremony, they can move in together and make a life. Usually the groom’s family will have paid a significant amount of money for the dowry (or sin sod), as well as for the ceremony itself. A typical dowry payment in Thailand is 500,000 — 1,000,000 THB. This does not include the cost of the ceremony itself. With low wages in the country, often the groom's family will take out hefty loans to pay for their marriage, which are sometimes paid back over a number of years by the groom or his family.
There will be pressure on both the bride and the groom to continue this relationship. If the relationship ends quickly they will both lose face, and the groom will lose a whole lot of money.
In many cases it is only after the couple have lived together for a period of time that they realize their relationship is not working. Until they are married they aren’t granted the opportunity to live together. Of course, soon after getting married many couples will find themselves expecting a baby.
Very often these young romances break off by the stage the couple have been married for a handful of years. The children from the marriage traditionally go to the ladies’ grandparents, if they weren’t there already, for them to be looked after while the couple works.
Child support payments are uncommon in Thailand. Many times the ex-wife will refuse money as child support, for the sake of not wanting to lose face or appear dependent on her ex-husband. Many women in Thailand are also not legally entitled to child support.
Women in Thailand are usually responsible for supporting their whole families. Even if you have 4 sons and 1 daughter, your daughter has to send you money for your food and water. The sons are not responsible for sending money to their parents in traditional Thai culture.
It has been claimed that the reserved, traditional Thai culture creates an environment that is a conveyor belt for single mothers with no financial support. It can leave women with children that they need to support, as well as supporting their parents and themselves. It is hard to support an entire family of people on the Thai minimum wage of 350 THB per day. Think about it, could you feed yourself, pay rent, feed your parents and feed your children with just 350 THB per day? For many women in this situation prostitution can be one of the few ways they're able to earn good amounts of money.
Not all Thai people’s lives play out like this, all situations are different, and many relationships are not conventional. This is just one theory on why there are so many prostitutes in Thailand.
Next time you’re in Thailand, ask the ladies that you meet in bars if they have children. Some will lie as they know having children is not seen as a desirable trait. If you start to become involved with a Thai lady, ask her, how many mouths is she feeding? This will give you an idea about her financial state and perhaps why she has decided to sell her body.
We hope that you enjoy reading this blog, which is published by PattayaPI. We are a leading detective agency working across Thailand. We help our clients with a wide range of different issues, including investigating Thai women. Please visit our homepage for more information about us and how we can help you.
A lot of talk happens online in the expat community surrounding bar girls, go-go dancers, and other so called ladies of the night. Many people recommend avoiding Thai bar girls for any type of serious long term relationship. On the other hand thousands of tourists visit Thailand, become involved with bar girls, and end up getting married, having children, and leading happy lives together... To understand this issue, you really need to look into the cause of prostitution in Thailand. Why is she working in the bar? Often times ladies in Thailand are pushed into bar work by economic pressure. The minimum wage in Thailand is 300 baht per day, that's around $8 US dollars for 8 hours work.... $1 per hour.
It is possible to live in Thailand, and survive on the Thai minimum wage, but it is not easy. Traditionally in Thai culture, the son of the family will support his mother and father until he has his own family. When he has his own wife and children, then his priorities shift and he's no longer expected to provide for mom and dad. With a Thai daughter, she will usually carry the burden of supporting her family forever. This means she is not only feeding herself, but her mother and father. Most bar girls in Thailand have children and they usually deny it. "You have children?" "No, no!". They get used to saying that, because they don't believe having children is an attractive trait to potential customers or boyfriends.
Learn more about bar girl investigations.
Once a Thai lady has a child, she will find it very difficult to be in a meaningful relationship with a Thai man. Thai men typically are not interested in marrying women with kids. It may be cheaper to live in Thailand, but the cost of putting a child (or multiple kids) through school, the cost of feeding your mother and father, running their house in Isaan, and feeding yourself, adds up. For a lot of these women, with very minimum educations, bar work can be seen as a viable choice to solve their money troubles.
Generally speaking there are two types of bar girl. You have one lady that will stop working in the bar if given the opportunity. You take the financial burden from her and send her money (she will describe this as "taking care" of her), she stops working in the bar and maintains your relationship. A lot of women start working in bars so they can find a foreign husband, and they are sincere. You then have the other type of bar girl. She is not seriously interested in you, but she will never say that. She will seem very keen on you and make you think you're the love of her life! But you're not. Through her eyes you are just an ATM machine. Her goal is to have multiple boyfriends sending her money, while continuing to make money every night in the bar. There will be no $8 per day wage for this lady, she can make thousands per month, especially if she's young and good looking.
At PattayaPI, we understand these issues, and we believe you have a choice. If you have picked a bad bar girl, you have picked a professional liar. This type of woman gets paid to lie, and they're good, they're very good. She will never ever admit that she's seeing other guys, or has multiple boyfriends. How can you find the truth? Before you let this relationship run on for years, and send this lady thousands of dollars, let us help you discover her motives. In the long run paying a private investigator will save you a lot of money and heartache. On the other hand our customers love the peace of mind they get from knowing their girlfriend is loyal to them.
If she's lying to you, we will find out. If she's not, you can go forward knowing you've picked a trustworthy partner, and she will never know she has been investigated. Send us a message now for a free quote.